More Predictions For The Upcoming SEC Season

Double K

Analyst Written on August 12, 2008

ESPN.com's Pat Forde has made a few predictions about the SEC conference for the upcoming season. I didn't like any of them, so I came up with nine of my own:

1. Tim Tebow is revealed to be a degenerate gambler with thousands in credit card gambling debt. Tebow is kicked out of school when it is revealed that he bet against his own team on numerous occasions.

2. It is discovered that Georgia's Mark Richt is a part-time superhero wannabe when this picture was taken of Richt (left), his running backs coach, and the athletic trainer graduate assistant...

3. In an effort to beef up his team, Ole Miss Coach Houston Nutt recruits the best damn women football players he can find...

(I just can't get enough of this picture)

4. In a commitment of confidence in his offense, Les Miles refuses to punt on fourth down for a whole month, then tells the media he won't waste anymore scholarships on "stupid punters" ever again...

5. At some point during every quarter of every game this season, an Alabama fan will curse John Parker Wilson...

6. It will be revealed that Georgia quarterback Matt Stafford's girlfriend of two years is Miley Cyrus (and not Nick Jonas). Stafford is dismissed from Georgia.

(Stafford, you are sick!)

7. Smokey and Uga get into a vicious dog battle at mid field during halftime of the Vols-Dawgs game this year... Michael Vick happens to be watching on TV and ends up getting six more months on his jail term.

8. Tommy Tuberville's ears become so big, that they sign a contract for their own talk show.

(I believe I can fly...)

9. MTV's recent dismissal of Tila Tequila makes room for South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier to be the new star in the new MTV show: "A Shot at Love With Steve Spurrier."

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written on August 12, 2008 Sports

Bleacher Report has a featured columnist opening for South Carolina Football.

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