Report: Isiah Has No Pictures of James Dolan "Getting Kinky in Drag"

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Report: Isiah Has No Pictures of James Dolan

IconContrary to rumors circulating in New York high society, it appears that Isiah Thomas does not have a single photograph of James Dolan engaged in kinky acts with a male stripper.

"Many people have attributed my tenure with the Knicks to those pictures, which are as nonexistent as they are erotic," explained Thomas. "But I'm here to dispel such a notion."

Added Thomas, "I've never obtained, at any point in my career, a picture of James Dolan dressed like a flapper with a dog leash around his neck while a thonged stripper who dances at The Manhole paddles his exposed rear end. Those photographs simply do not exist."

Thomas' assertion puts to rest the quiet but long-standing rumor, which has often been associated with the coach's inexplicable second, third, and fourth chances.

"During June of last year, I publicly announced that Thomas had one year to make the Knicks into a winning organization," Dolan said in a statement. "Despite a continued lackluster performance, a sexual harassment conviction, and his role in inciting a brawl, I've made the informed decision to stand by Isiah. Those compromising pictures of me in drag played no part in this, because they're not real."

Dolan also took the opportunity to deny any rumors pertaining to the particulars of his personal life.

"If you go on Wikipedia and read my profile, you'll see that it refers to me as 'an overprivileged brat that knows nothing and has no qualifications to run a sports franchise,'" Dolan said. "But it makes no reference at all to my Backdoor Speakeasy Party of May 2005.

"Why doesn't it? Because that orgy never took place."

According to now-discredited insiders, free-agent center Jerome James and his agent were scheduled to meet with Dolan in order to finalize the terms of a three-year, $9 million contract. Due to a timing mishap, the men allegedly arrived at Dolan's office shortly after its transformation into a "den of naughtiness."

James' agent then reportedly took several pictures with a camera phone before meeting with Thomas to renegotiate the contract.

"To offer Jerome James an outlandish contract in exchange for possession of perverse photographs would be illegal," explained the former Pistons great. "I will not have my professionalism or respect for the law called into question.

"And I will not respond to rumors that James' agent created a bidding war between me and Larry [Brown] for sole ownership of the aforementioned pictures. Such activity is beneath me. But it wouldn't have been beneath Larry, which is why we fired his white ass. I mean, that's why we fired his underperforming ass."

With the rumors now put to rest, the Knicks will likely focus upon what they do best.

"Earlier this year, Jim and I had the privilege of flirting with the record books at the hands of a potent Celtics offense," said Thomas. "Now that these untrue rumors have been put to rest, we can refocus upon matching, or, God willing, improving upon that legendary loss."

"People act as if we enjoy getting spanked night-in and night-out," echoed Dolan. "But why would a powerful billionaire like myself enjoy the occasional humiliating act of submission? It doesn't make sense, it's never made sense, and the dispelling of these rumors finally puts this all to rest."

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