The 10 Greatest Myths In Modern Sports History

There are so many myths in so many forms.

Politics. History. Society.

Sports.

But what people do not understand is that a myth is something that is usually proven to be untrue or there is no confirmation of truth of such statements.

In sports this is the rule rather than the exception

For myself, it has been decades of keeping my mouth shut or not having the medium to speak of such myths I will also myself to discuss.

These myths aren't about legends or a moment in a particular game.

No.

These are myths that relate to common nomenclature, to debunk what most people find true.

They are only true because either the media tries to convince you that these things are so or you are part of a mass hysteria that just wants something to be.

Well I will play no part in such drivel.

No way will I turn the wheel of these myths.

I will present these myths via perception based on the fact that the "spoken words" do not bear fruit Will I spend hours "proving" my points in their entirety? No way. But, I have done enough to know none of you could truly debunk anything about to be written from this point forward.

Try me....

10. "Rudy" was an inspiration.

Wow. Rudy. What a guy.

Let's review.

Dude lives in Joliet, Illinois. Is a marginal football player at the local high school football factory and an even worse academic. Decides he wants to go to Notre Dame to play football, even though his grades are more suited for Damn Notta.

He enrolls at a junior college and scrapes by to eventually get into the famed university in South Bend.

Then our hero goes out and tries to play on a team that was actually relevant at the time -- yes, kids, Notre Dame used to be cool.

We find out he basically sucks and he works no harder than anyone else on a national championship-type team..

FINALLY, Rudy gets in to the final game of his career -- a blow out against a lousy opponent.

Look! Rudy gets a sack!

The crowd claps and goes home and the players do not raise their fists in support of the bum nor do they bully their coach into playing Rudy.

So what does "Rudy" do for the next 20-plus years?

Slums it. Tries to sell his "incredible" story while basically toiling as a borderline below-average contributor to society before getting lucky when his story sells.

Of course the movie can only get made when it's embellished ad nauseum.

Then the runt spends the next almost 20 years becoming a rich, motivational, speaker.

Motivational?

"Gee...see guys...you too can do basically nothing but be a below average person almost all your life, do ONE thing great over the course of your life, and milk it for all it's worth."

Yeah really inspirational. Members of our government and hierarchy must have seen "Rudy" and pushed REPEAT on their DVD players.

They seemed to have gotten the message.

9, Football is one of the most athletic sports on earth

Oh, really?

Let's review.

The players wear more padding and protection than any other sport than maybe hockey.

The players are involved in one play every 40 seconds of game action.

The players' physical movement is limited to an average of give or take, five seconds per play.

The players play in a 60-minute game.

So...in a 60-minute game the players are involved in an average of 90 plays in a pro or collegiate football game.

That means they are involved in 450 seconds of action on average.

So the players work hard for a total of approximately seven-and-a-half minutes over what eventually become a two-and-a-half to three hour excursion.

Not even 8 minutes.

Not even a full quarter of high school basketball, you know that sport that you are actually moving as the clock runs.

All they are is a group of boxers training their body to take three hits over two minutes and to top it off are protected by 20-pounds of padding.

Elite? Not even close.

8. Cheating coaches deserve any media attention

First name I can come up with...John Calipari.

UMass = lost their Final Four recognition during the coaching reign of JC.

Memphis = lost their Final Four recognition during the coaching reign of JC.

Now even Kentucky is getting some sniff from the NCAA in year two of JC.

But what does ESPN do?

Interview the sleaze over-and-over.

Why?

"Because he wins!"

Nooooo he cheats to win.

Watch his teams.

They have ZERO discipline.

They run helter-skelter offenses and their defenses are based on athleticism but not a hint of tactical awareness is ever evident.

He is a sub-par coach that cheats to be recognized as great.

And the media kisses their hineys rather than kicking them.

Now Bruce "We think he's soooo cool" Pearl is being sniffed.

"He's such a great coach!"

No, he's not.

He is no less than a strand of DNA-away from being a sweatier, shorter version of JC.

All of you media seem to forget his sleaze-bag role in the Iowa-Illinois recruiting scandals in the 80s.

The man reeks of sleaze, can't coach, and wins because he can BS.

Oh wait...no wonder why you like them so much.

Kinship.

7. Tim Duncan is a great player

No way. No how.

He is a great stat padder and okay, he may be one of the greatest players ever until the two-minute mark.

Then we learn of Duncan's ungreatness.

Check "Timmy's" titles.

ALL of them were won by supporting players making clutch plays in the biggest games to get the job done.

Timmy? One winning shot EVER against the worst defensive team in NBA history -- the Mike-NO D-in Dantoni led Phoenix Suns.

Mario Ellie. Avery Johnson. Manu.

All made the big plays.

Timmy?

Destroyed by Good to the Last Diop in Game 7 against Dallas back in 2007. Does anyone even remember Diop's first name???

How about all the way back in Wake Forest? The second round choke against Stanford? The being completely outplayed by Mark Madsen final game?

His stats drop drastically in the last two minutes of games -- especially his FT shooting -- and he has to constantly defer to more clutch players around him.

A great player gets it done for 48 minutes. Calling Tim Duncan a great player is like saying an NBA MVP can be the league's worst defensive player.

Sorry, Steve Nash.

To top it off, Duncan is arrogant beyond all measure and classless.

Let's see the punk go a whole quarter where he admits he actually committed a foul.

Well when that happens he may actually make a clutch play in the playoffs.

Oh well....I've only got 40 years left or so.

6. Danica Patrick has talent/Anna Kournikova had none

Ah, Danica.

Oh wait, I mean Dani-can't.

Dani-can't Patrick is the Jenny McCarthy of sports.

A sell out.

No Maxims. No Stuffs. No Go Daddy's.

No Dani-can't.

The no talent, basically never winning (Texas? Are you serious) Dani-can't drives the same size Indy-cars as her male counterparts, weights 50-70 pounds less than all of them...

and she SUCKS.

She's like, what, 10th, in a 21-racer Indy circuit?

That's like being a lousy team in the NHL. You still make the playoffs but everyone knows you are a first-round sweep away from reminding everyone how lousy you always were.

But she shows skin on that curveless, almost teenage boy body and the male-dominated sports media gets giddy.

Boys....grow up please or at least prove to us that if you weren't rich you actually had the game to bag a babe.

Some compare Dani-can't to Anna.

Heck no.

Regardless of what most uneducated sports fans say, Anna WON.

She won numerous doubles Grand Slam titles.

Not just one little tournament in Texas.

But ESPN makes a Dani-can't the face of racecar driving.

Wish they'd make her the face of losing too.

5. Coaches should be intimidating

My fellow media members....you make me laugh.

You are cowards in many occasions.

Why the heck would anyone get intimidated by a Gregg Popovich or a Bill Belichick?

EARTH TO: THEY ARE COACHES!

Most of these guys are one bad hit to the head from marrying a girl named Wilma and riding a brontosaurus to work.

COACHES!

Not philanthropists. Not scientists. Not one has ever changed the landscape of the world we live in.

Gregg Pop? HA! He is such a peasant and all you San Antonio media elites fire writers if Pop don't like your reporters' stories?

Belichick?

COACH.

Buy a new hoodie, dude.

4. Phil Jackson is the greatest coach of all time

Well, he doesn't suck.

I mean he learned to be the greatest coattail rider of all time.

Six titles with the Bulls while coaching the greatest closer and player of all time and the greatest defender under 6-7 of all time on the same team.

Still.

How many freaking times did the Bulls trail going into the fourth quarter only to have His Airness bail out Zen boy? Especially in the playoffs!

Fast Forward.

Lakers = second most dominating center of all time and the second greatest closer of all time (yes, even better than Larry).

Wow! Three-peat!

Now in his later stages Phil is winning with talent and yes good coaching.

But the best ever? No. That's Larry Brown all the way.

Phil never built a team from nothing to win.

Besides when Phil makes the excuse that they trail late in games because "we are feeling the other team out" only after already playing the team 10 times before, he sounds like Nick Saban.

You know Nick who bragged in the 90s to SI that he worked 20-hour days at Michigan State to go 6-5 every year.

Man Nick you suck.

Phil? Two semi-legit coached titles? Nick? Two overcredited titles?

Yup. Overrated.

3. Soccer is a stupid sport

Um no.

Only AMERICANS think it's stupid or sucks (hey Jim Rome, your youth soccer coach called to say hes sorry for cutting you all those times. Hater).

AMERICANS hate anything that's un-AMERICAN.

Football (the real one), Rugby, and Cricket are the three most popular team sports on earth.

We don't embrace any.

Rebellion? Arrogance?

Probably.

We are 5 percent of the human population.

For us to think we are the authority is really kind of stupid. Especially we may be the fastest failing dynasty in the history of mankind.

Oh and football (soccer) players can run 6-8 miles over the course of a match at an average.

Take that football (American)!

2, Golfers are athletes

No.

Let's review.

You hit an inanimate ball.

You hit an inanimate ball at an inanimate hole.

You hit an inanimate ball at an inanimate hole with no one standing in front of that hole or standing in your way.

You hit an inanimate ball at an inanimate hole with no one standing in front of that hole or standing in your way with an wood or iron stick.

You hit an inanimate ball at an inanimate hole with no one standing in front of that hole or standing in your way with an wood or iron stick and can still weight 60 pounds more than modern science believes you should.

You WALK 18 holes of a golf course in about oh, nine hours.

And Tiger Woods is intimidating?

Yeah.

Well until the string bean, who would NEVER even get a single girl he cheated on his wife (or his wife) with if he weren't idolized for civilized caveman sport (me swing stick see ball go far!) plays me in a one-on-one basketball game and doesn't get skunked I am not convinced.

IF golf is a sport due to "battling the elements" than I will form the National Kite-Flying League tomorrow.

1. Athletes are role models

They are if you want your kids to:

Lie to Congress.

Cheat on their pregnant wives.

Take HGH and steroids to produce fraudulent great performances.

Be able to afford high-end call girls.

Rape two women in less than a year and get away with it.

Kill their exes and get away with it.

Get cocky even when they know they cheated to excel.

Lie to Congress.

Sell out a loyal group of supporters because you think you should be on TV to tell them to kiss your arse.

Athletes are only role models because lousy parents know these "heroes" are doomed to fail.

These lousy parents then can blame their kids' screw ups on people their children never met.

Then these lousy parents can hide behind the scenes and shadows cast by a faux parent.

A faux parent that never had nor would ever want nor was ever qualified for.

Role model that in Congress.