These are the best fictional baseball players from movies, no real MLB players. So, no Shoeless Joe from “Field of Dreams”, Dennis Quaid from "The Rookie", and no Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle from “61*”.
Starting Pitching Rotation
#1 - Steve Nebraska (Brendan Frazier) - “The Scout”
The guy was pumping 100 on the bump. Plus, if this is a NL team, he could hit as well.
#2 - Ryan Dunne (Freddie Prinze Jr.) - “Summer Catch”
Even though he used a Rawlings that was probably bought at Wal-Mart, this southpaw could deal. Plus, Jessica Biel would be around the clubhouse.
#3 - Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner)- “For Love of the Game”
Any guy who attempts to pitch a perfect game with Vin Scully on the mic at Yankee Stadium is a winner.
#4 - Mel Clark (Tony Danza) - “Angels in the Outfield”
Sure, he is the worst actor in American film history, smoked with the best of them, and was going to die a couple months after his last outing, but Clark did have a huge heart and an Angel on his side.
#5 - Amanda Whurkitzer (Tatum O’Neil) - “The Bad News Bears”
She could carve on the bump and you know she is tough if she could marry John McEnroe.
Set-Up Man - Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas) - “Rookie of the Year”
He could pump over 100mph as a 12 year old. Plus, he had veteran pitcher Chet Steadman to help him out and his pitching coach was the thief in Home Alone 1 & 2. Only reason why he doesn’t get in the starting rotation is his mind may be on eating Tara Reid out like he did in American Pie. Oh, Henry has grown up.
Closer - Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) - ‘Major League”
He threw hard and had attitude, coming out of the California prison league.
Catcher - Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) - “Bull Durham”
He was the solid veteran that will keep the pitching staff together. Will have the occasional pop in the bat as well.
1B- Lou Collins (Timothy Busfield) - “Little Big League”
Sure, he didn’t believe in baseball in “Field of Dreams” but the veteran first baseman had a solid glove and a great bat, even if Ken Griffey Jr. will rob his homerun in the last game. Maybe he should have stopped trying to “spit game” at Billy Haywood’s mom and hit the weight room.
2B - Mickey Dominguez (Wilmer Valderrama) - “Summer Catch”
If you sleep with the mom of you summer host family, you are starting for my team.
3B- Ray Mitchell (Stoney Jackson) - “Angels in the Outfield”
He had a big time bat and was a gold-glove caliber third baseman. He was also part of one of my favorite lines in the movie: “Hemmerling for Mitchell? Go back to Cincinnati!”
SS - Benny “the Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) - “The Sandlot”
He had so much passion for the game and was a leader. It takes a lot leadership to get Hamilton Porter’s fat-ass to catch nine. Plus he would be able to get out of any “pickle” with the PF Flyers on.
LF - Stan Ross (Bernie Mac) - “Mr. 3000”
He was one hit short of 3000, I would say that’s team worthy. He would keep the locker room loose with his jokes, even if you can’t understand half the things he is saying.
CF- Bobby Rayburn (Wesley Snipes) - “The Fan”
As long as we keep psycho Robert De Niro out of the way, he will be perennial MVP candidate.
RF - Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford)- “The Natural”
He used a “Wonder Boy” bat. What more do you want out of your cleanup hitter.
DH - Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) - “Major League”
He could crush the fastball and perform voodoo on the team but couldn’t hit a breaking ball. At least he makes up for it by getting us a deal on All-State insurance.
Pinch runners -
Marvin (Danny Walcoff) - “Angels in the Outfield”
Yes, I’m getting out of hand, this was the kid who George Knox (Danny Glover) told to run home when he got a hit and dumb ass Marvin really ran home.
G-Baby (DeWayne Warren) - “Hardball”
Sure, he didn’t get his own jersey and he got shot but the kid could run and jump over position players. He had the hear, for sure, to steal a bag for this team late in the game.
Pitch hitter - Jack Banning (Charlie Korsmo)- “Hook”
Even though his dad was Peter Pan (Robin Williams) and didn’t go to his little league games, he dropped absolute bombs at the plate in Neverland for Hook’s team (Dustin Hoffman).
Manager - Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks)- “A League of Their Own”
IF he can manage that beyond-annoying switch hitter Rosie O’Donnell, he can manage anyone.
Bench Coach - George Knox (Danny Glover)- “Angels in the Outfield”
He was convinced by a kid (Rodger) there where angels helping his ball club; he can have this team believing if a losing streak occurs.
Bullpen Coach - “Conor O’Neil (Keanu Reeves) - “Hardball”
He will be chatting it up with the bullpen on how to properly bet on an NBA game.
General manager - Billy Heywood (Luke Edwards)- “Little Big League”
He had more knowledge then any of the other mangers, but a kid who is still eligible for a Catholic priest can’t be my manager.
Beat writer- Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) - “Field of Dreams”
He had a great love for the game and was an amazing writer.
Owner - Ray Kinsella (Kevin Coster)
He was convinced to give up his farm to build a baseball field. Don’t think the Marlins’ owners are putting in that sacrifice.
Team announcer -Bob Uecker- "Major League"
“Juuuuuust a bit outside…”
Team Doctor -Archibald "Moonlight" Graham (Burt Lancaster) - “Field of Dreams”
If the team is playing in Milwaukee , he could at least get a hot dog or bratwurst out of a choking player. We may even give him an at bat.
Umpire- Frank Drebin (Leslie William Nielsen)- “The Naked Gun”
Any umpire that could hit the moonwalk is my type of up. A little better then Joe West’s punch out call.
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