Penn State Scenarios for 2008: From National Champs to Bottom Feeders

On the way to work, I thought about a few ways that Penn State’s season might turn out.  So here you go...

SCENARIO 1: Bedlam in State College—12-0 and the Nittany Lions win it all

After crushing Illinois at home, Penn State are on the map.  State College, PA becomes State College, USA when the Nittany Lions crush Wisconsin and Big Ten Champion favorite Ohio State on the road before wiping the floor with everyone up to and including their home date with Michigan State.

Evan Royster wins the Heisman, and in January they beat Georgia in the National Championship game by 20.  You can dream, right?

SCENARIO 2: 11-1, but Penn State are Rose Bowling.

It was all going so well until Ohio State.  The win at Camp Randall was perhaps one of the biggest road upsets of the year, but the Buckeyes prove to be a more difficult opponent.  A blown umpire’s call or 14 at The Horseshoe makes sure the Buckeyes win, but PSU come back with a storming win at Iowa before waltzing past Indiana and Michigan State in the finales.

The wins make sure that Penn State’s invited to the Rose Bowl, which they accept.  They beat USC in a wonderful game on a last-second touchdown from Derrick Williams, and everyone talks about how they “should be champions” after OSU once again loses the National Title.

SCENARIO 3: 10-2 Nittany Lions lose the big road games, but still gain third place

Wisconsin and Ohio State prove too much even for this veteran offence, and they can’t seem to beat the nationally ranked teams on the road.  Victories against Michigan and Illinois make sure that Penn State are in a Jan. 1st bowl, and a double-figure victory shows the world that maybe Joe Paterno isn’t too old after all.

And after going through some more scenarios (I didn’t have a whole lot to do), I came up with these ones.

SCENARIO 4: 2-10 PSU only beats Coastal Carolina and Syracuse

After the thrashing of Coastal Carolina, it looked so good for the 2008 Nittany Lions.  Back-to-back shocking losses to Oregon State and Syracuse crush all hopes, and the whole place falls apart after the loss to a Michigan side who didn’t know what a quarterback side was at the start of the year.

The end-of-the-season losses to Indiana and Michigan State have Joe Paterno retiring, with everyone waving him goodbye with a raised middle finger.

SCENARIO 5: 0-12—Bedlam in State College

The loss to Coastal Carolina sent State College into uproar—and it gets worse from there.  The team are ALL arrested for getting in a fight with all the fraternities on Frat Row, and JoePa has to start at quarterback.  Although he still runs for 200 yards, he’s then arrested after getting in a prang with a woman, yelling at her and then beating her to the ground...with the world watching.