Vague NFL Predictions for 2008

Let me say up front that it is impossible to accurately predict anything in the NFL. I am admitting up front that I will get things wrong. Players come out of nowhere and play well, crazy injuries happen, unexpected teams wins, and we'll have lucky plays. They all add up to make it stupid to try to predict the record of any team.

Good thing I am an idiot, eh?

I'm going to do this by division. Divisional play really affects how well a team does. Teams in a division know each other well and should be grouped together as such.

AFC East

Every year I predict the downfall of the Patriots, and every year I am wrong. Well, I'm not going to let that stop me from doing it again. The AFC East will do well this year. They play the pushover NFC West, and I'd be surprised is the AFC East lost even one game to the NFC West.

Buffalo Bills, 10 or more wins
The Buffalo Bills are by far the most talented team in the division this year. They are also highly motivated and really want it. This year's team feels like it deserves 10 wins. That, plus their easy schedule, will likely grant it to them.

Patriots, seven to 10 wins
The Patriots suck, but no one except the Dolphins and Jets seem to know that. That won't change. I do expect the Pats to win only one or two divisional games this year. They will win a lot outside their division though. They'll probably make the playoffs as a wild card.

Jets, six to nine wins
The Jets are about as good as they were last year. But they will be motivated this year, and again, they have the easy schedule. They'll get at least six wins off that. They do welcome Favre to the team; that has to count for something, right? Well, I'll give them two extra kudos for the marketing gimmick because he won't earn them any wins.

Dolphins, four to five wins
I think that will make them happy, too. They just have no quarterback, running back, or wide receivers for that matter. Come on, are you telling me you really expect Ted Ginn Jr. to do anything as a No. 1 receiver?

AFC North

I cannot predict what this division will do. All the teams are so talented, and they all suck in some ways. They do have a bit of a tough schedule, but these teams are good and can win those games.

It's hard, hard, hard to say what will happen here. Any of the four could take the division. Even the Bengals are better than everyone is giving them credit for. It would not surprise me at all if they took the division. It's just so hard to call.

Browns, six to 12 wins
It's so hard to say. If Derek Anderson is not a fluke and can do it again, and those two DT's they picked up don't suck, this team will be the most dangerous team in the AFC. But, then again, it could all fall apart, and Jamal Lewis will quickly go back to sucking, and the defense will stop trying. They'll get six or seven wins just because they feel they are entitled to them, but not much else.

Steelers, six to 10 wins
There is no quit in this team. They could lose the first five games and still come up with eight wins. This is a team that feels that it has a divine right to win 10 games every year. It's going to take several seasons of some other team slapping them to take that mindset away. I don't see that happening.

Likely Tomlin will see his sophomore blues this year, but just because the Steelers think they deserve 8 wins, and other teams are to dumb to know they don't, they'll get 'em.

Raven, five to 10 wins
It'll take a few losses in a row, but this team will quit if you push them. But if they win early, they could climb their way to 10 wins. This is the kind of team that gets the surprise wins when you don't expect them to.

Bengals, three to 10 wins
They'll fall apart in Week Two if they lose the first two games. This team is not bound together very well. But if they can beat Baltimore in Week One, they should be able to get the confidence to win a few more over the next three or four weeks. Then from there, who knows, it's anyone's division.


AFC South

This is a strong division. I like all the teams to win, well, except Tennessee, they won't come out on top. Even though they do always catch me off guard by winning. Jeff Fisher is a good coach to do that.

Colts, eight to 13 wins
They will lose at least three division games. The will likely win all but one non-division game, though. So that puts them up top, even if they don't deserve it. No, they won't win a playoff game. Bob Sanders is overrated.

Jaguars, eight to 11 wins
They could dominate, but I doubt they will. The defense is strong, and they'll win some games. However, the offense is the same bland they've always had, and I don't feel those two rookies will help them much this year.

Texans, seven to 12 wins
This team could be very strong, if Schaub does not get himself hurt again. I like this team a lot, but it's such a tough division. They will beat the Colts this year and probably dominate outside the division. Heck, I would not be surprised to see them take the division. It very well could happen.

Titans, four to 10 wins
Why can't they just accept they suck and lose? They always win; it drives me nuts. They'll probably do it again this year. But they if they were smart enough to know what they really are, they'd only win four games.

AFC West

They are losing their luster as one of the stronger divisions in football. The overall records is going to be down a bit, though still respectable.

Chargers, seven to 13 wins
This is another team that always wins, and I have no idea how. I think they cheat. They'll get the job done though; it was a descent offseason. They have all the same main pieces as last year, and just by that, this team will be a bit stronger.

Broncos, five to 11 wins
This is a hard team to predict. Shanahan will give them a few wins just by virtue of solid play calling. He'll also lose one or two for them, by virtue of dumb decisions. They've got decent talent, but the defense is losing its shine. They'll be on the fringe of the playoffs, again.

Kansas City Chiefs, six to eight wins
I really like the build of this team. If I were assembling a team, this is how I would do it. Unfortunately, Herm never seems to overachieve. So you KC fans will just have to settle for better than last year. Plus, there still is no good wideout on the team. Croyle is not as bad as he'll get ridiculed for being. Not that he's good, either.

Oakland Raiders, four or less wins
This team is just horrible and is not getting any better. Any games they win will be because Russell did some crazy scrambles and made some unexpected first downs. I have talked to some Raiders fans who are actually excited about this team. I still don't see it though.

NFC East

It's going to be about the same as last year. A tough fight all around. All of the teams do have a bit to be excited about, and all have some stuff to be worried about. Well, the Cowboys don't have anything to worry about. I don't see how that team won't have the best record in the NFC.

Dallas Cowboys, 12 or more wins
This is the easiest team to predict. They'll just win a lot, no one in the NFC can really compete with the Dallas. Every other team will be too intimidated to put up a fight. Idiot teams like the Bengals and Cardinals are going to subconsciously think they are supposed to lose and won't even show up to the game.

If the Bengals would only try, they could crush the Cowboys. It's so stupid. It really aggravates me.

Redskins, six to 10 wins
It's a solid team, too bad they have no QB. They could easily get 10 wins if they could find someone to throw the ball. Since Campbell sucks, he's going to hold this talented team back. I'm thinking this is going to be closer to six wins than 10.

Jim Zorn just strikes me as being able to make stupid decisions. I'm thinking he'll pull through on that one.

Giants, five to nine wins
The defense will be horrible. But the offense will finally look good, so that is a plus. They are going to drop off this year, I just feel it in my bones. They won in the playoffs last year just by shear desire. I am as happy for them as anyone. But we all know, they just won't be doing it again.

Eagles, four to eight wins
The Eagles have finally fallen from grace. It's going to be a rough year for this team. They'll lose most division games, but get a good amount of wins outside the division. McNabb is pretty much done in the NFL, if you ask me. I love the guy, but I'm thinking his body just can't take it anymore. They'll start off strong, and fall apart around Week Four.

NFC South

I think this is not a very talented division. Any one of the teams could take the division, it's not hard to do.

Saints, nine to 12 wins
The offense is strong, and I think the defense gets it together this year. They seem to be motivated, and I think it will pay off. Really though, I think this team will be powered by "America juice" this year.

Everyone wants them to win so badly that it will just happen. And by everyone, I mean those TV networks and the mindless drones who just do what they are told.

Buccaneers, seven to 11 wins
This team is older than dirt. I don't know how, but they will win. Oh I know how, it's because every team in this division sucks. They do keep a decent defense in Tampa, though. That always leads to some victories. I think the Saints getting things together this year will push Tampa to No. 2.

Carolina, five to nine wins
Fox seems to want to win the most. That will turn into at least one win. Outside of that, Delhomme is getting old and the defense has not gotten any better. They won't do well. Muhsin Mohammad is a feel-good story, but feel-good stories are not wins.

Atlanta, four or less wins
I still think it's funny they chose Vick over Schaub. Oh Atlanta, you suck. When you start feeling horrible about yourselves, go visit a Lions or Bengals discussion forum. Then you will feel better.

NFC North

Defense rules this division. The poor Lions have to face three of the best defenses around, twice each. It's going to be tough.

Green Bay, nine to 12 wins
Aaron Rodgers will do ok. The defense on this team is very strong, which should translate into a good year for the Packers. If Rodgers was to start his rookie or sophomore season, we'd be crying the woes of first-round bust.

He's had so much time to polish himself and get ready. He is not at all the same QB that Green Bay drafted.

On top of that, all he really needs to do is manage games, given the defense he has. Kudos to Green Bay for assembling such a nice team.

Vikings, eight to 10 wins
If they had a QB, this would be a 10-win team, no questions asked. Best defense in football, if you ask me. This defense will carry the team, again. They can't keep doing this though, the defense won't last forever. They'll be the next Bears/Ravens in a year or two unless they get a QB.

Bears, three to seven wins
Speaking of the next Bears, I cannot believe they have done nothing at the QB position. They deserve to lose, a lot. This team is just silly. After three losses or some injuries, the defense is going to give up and things will really unravel.

Lions, six or less wins
They have John Kitna at QB. Such a waste of talent at wide receiver. They deserve more wins than they will get. Millen and the gang have done nothing to make this team any better.

It will take a miracle and a half to save this team. I don't even think a Derrick Anderson/Tom Brady out of nowhere QB could save them. I'm not telling Lions fans anything they don't already know.

NFC West

By far the worst division in football. I cannot believe how bad all four of these team are. Everyone predicts it every year, and are they always wrong, but I don't care, I am going with Arizona to be the lucky ones to go 8-8 and win the division.

Cardinals, seven to nine wins
They seem hungry, they seem to have enough talent, and they get to play the 49ers twice. I think they'll finally come out on top. Also, moving Rolle to safety is an A+ decision in my book.

Rams, four to eight wins
I think four is more likely than eight, but they'll get a few wins. This is not a tough team to beat though. It's fortunate for them to be in such an easy division. They seem to have had a plan this offseason and went out and executed it.

I have to make the assumption that their management knew what they were doing, even if it looks a bit suspect on the outside.

Seattle, four to eight wins
This is a pushover team that got a lot worse this offseason. Holmgren is going to go out on a low note. I bet they go 0-4 against the AFC East.

49ers, four or less wins
The only way they don't get last place is if Alex Smith gets hurt or the coaches come to their senses and bench him. Not only that, but then some QB would have to come out of nowhere and shine, a la Derek Anderson of 2007. I'm assuming that won't happen. I guess it could, though.