Breaking News: Brett Favre calls a press conference

August 6, 2008. 12:01am

The Meadowlands, New Jersey.

Brett Favre called an emergency press conference. The media had 15 minutes to report to the Meadowlands. When Favre entered he looked like he’d lost his best friend. He took a deep breath, sighed heavily and then tonelessly began to sing:

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet all the way
From your first vicious sack
To your last passin’ day.

When you’re a Jet,
If the ball hits the runner
You got linemen around,
You’re a Meadowlands man!

You’re never alone,
You’re never unprotected!
You’re home with your own:
When the Giants are expected,
You’re well protected!

Then you are set
With a capital J,
Which you’ll never forget
Till they cart you away.
When you’re a Jet,
You stay a Jet!

Then Favre sighed heavily again and left the room. The reporters all immediately said: J-E-T-S- JETS JETS JETS.