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Clichés don’t really bother me, perhaps because I’ve gotten used to them or just tune them out. I think some people absorb things a little too literally—and football and literal analogies just don’t mix...

The 20 Worst Football Clichés

by Justin Goar [HUMOR]

222

26907 reads

Humor

August 05, 2008


Clichés don’t really bother me, perhaps because I’ve gotten used to them or just tune them out.  I think some people absorb things a little too literally—and football and literal analogies just don’t mix.

But at least I can have some fun picking these clichés apart in the meantime until the season starts, can’t I?  (I’ve peppered in real college football last names in order to make you feel more at home.)

 

20) “We have to take it one game at a time.”

Great advice!  I wouldn’t recommend playing two games at once. I’m no football wizard, but 22 guys on defense may slow your offense down a bit, coach.

 

19) “Crabtree makes a circus catch.”

I can’t tell you how many times I went to the circus as a child.  I loved the clowns the most.  The trapeze artists were probably my second favorite, and wide receivers catching badly-thrown footballs rounded out the list.

 

18) “The other team just wanted it more.”

It’s a shame that we practice football skills.  We should practice “wanting” skills if that’s what determines the outcome of a game.  I think the height of my “wanting” career was back when I was about 11 and wanted an ice cream sandwich three days before the Schwan’s guy was supposed to come by.  That was a long three days—but I assure you, I wanted it more than most.

In fact, now is a great time to pay homage to the best “wanter” of all time—Little Ralphie Parker back in the 1940s.  That dude wanted a Red Rider BB Gun really bad.  If there was a Hall of Fame for wanting, Ralphie would be the very first inductee despite shooting his eye out.

 

17) “They left it all on the field.”

That would totally suck for the field crew after the game.

Uhhh, can someone please come down to the field and pick up 110 jock straps, please?

 

16) “He’s deceptively quick.”

I’m a deceptively good-looking genius.  Also, I used to be deceptively slow—now I’m just obviously slow.

 

15) “McCoy’s going to feel that one in the morning.”

Well, I think the fact that he’s rolling around on the ground clutching his head with his face contorted in a painful grimace means he’s probably feeling it pretty well right now.

 

14) “They are better than their record indicates.”

This is used by announcers who are trying to say, “Please don’t change the channel,” and by coaches who are trying to say, “Do NOT come out flat against these pansies.”

 

13) “He has a motor that won’t quit.”

I like to call this the David Pollock cliché.  Hey, did you know that he played pee wee football with QB David Greene?  Did you know Hermann Johnson was the biggest baby born in Louisiana?  Did you know Tim Tebow was home schooled where he learned how to save foreign infants from starvation?

Why no, I haven’t watched college football at all in the last few minutes—thanks for the info, college football announcer guy!!

 

12) “He really gives 110 percent.”

No, he REALLY doesn’t.  Why not 105 percent or 115 percent?  It’s physically impossible to give over 100 percent.  So why not 150 percent?  Why is 10 percent over 100 the arbitrary number we pick when someone gives it their all?  Basically 110 percent has become the new 100 percent.  So in all probability this cliché isn’t going anywhere.  From now on I’m just going to say, “He gave 115 percent”...due to inflation.

 

11) “There seemed to be a miscommunication on that play.”

See ladies, it’s not just you.  It happens with other men too.

 

10) “We have to play a full 60 minutes.”

No, you have to play like three and half hours minus TV timeouts, halftime, and the occasional stoppage for a drunk skinny naked guy running onto the field who apparently can’t say no to a dare.

 

9) “Boeckman would like to have that one back.”

Yeah, I have a list of things I’d like to take back as well.

1) Trying baking chocolate thinking it was real chocolate when I was eight.

2) Seeing the movie King Ralph starring John Goodman in the theaters.

3) Three words: convenience store burrito.

I have 94 other ones—how much time does everyone have?

 

8) “They have to take care of the football.”

It’s true.  I’ll never forget the first time a Duke Jr. football followed me home after school one day.  I asked my mom if I could keep it.  She said yes on the stipulation that I had to take care of it.  I did for a while, but honestly, after a few months, my dad ended up feeding it and walking it.

Then about a year later, after an errant pass in a game of three-flies-in, the ball jumped out in front of a car.  There was nothing the driver could’ve done.

Soon after, my parents bought me a Voit to help ease the grieving process.

 

7) “This Mountaineer defense is going to ‘pin their ears back’ on this next play.”

Why would anyone pin their ears back?  Is it because they have big ears and they are afraid that they won’t get asked to the Barn Hill Dance?  Maybe it’s time to teach that defense about self-esteem and the fact that you just have to be happy with who you are on the inside.

 

6) “He has a quick first step.”

After that, he stops cold out of sheer terror.  He was first team All-Freeze Tag back in third grade.

 

5) “The Sooner defense bends but doesn’t break.”

I am so guilty of this one.  I’ll try to do better.  Please offer me alternatives.  What about this defense teases but doesn’t put out?

Too racy?

 

4) “This QB is a real gunslinger.”

I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.  Billy Blanks tried that in the beginning of The Last Boy Scout, and even though he scored I’m pretty sure there was a flag or two on the play.  Unless, of course, the game was played at Auburn.

 

3) “Arenas is a downhill runner.”

Now that’s just unfair.  What a home field advantage that would be!  A stadium with a hill at midfield or at the goal line.  Of course, that would justify, ”It’s an uphill battle.”

I would love to see a strong safety get a downhill running start at a WR and knock him 30 yards down an incline.  Thank goodness for forward progress, eh?

 

2) “Sanchez has all day to throw it.”

If the opposing team has all day to throw it, then might I suggest a different defensive strategy?  In fact, I think it would be awesome if one day an announcer got very literal with this one.

“Man, Verne, Snead seemed to have like eight seconds in the pocket on that play.  Maybe it was closer to seven, but it sure seemed like a long time.  Well, not a long time relatively speaking, but in football pocket passing terms a long time.”

My favorite variation of this is, “Stafford has all the time in the world.”

Whoa, is he immortal or something?  I’d be texting my friends, “Gary Danielson just said Matthew Stafford is a Highlander.”

 

1) “That guy’s a throwback.”

Usually referred to when talking about slow white guys who try really hard.  You know, the kind of guy that “brings his lunch pail” to work every day.

I promise you, this guy is not a throwback unless he plays without a facemask, protective padding, and with a half-torn ACL.  If this guy makes it to the NFL and accepts a 1970s NFL salary, then fine, that guy can be a throwback.

 

I’m probably leaving a good 50 or so off the list, but I did my best and gave it 115 percent.  I tried to play within myself and bring my A game (doh, missed a couple).

What are some of yours?

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222 comments Last one added 10 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Nic Gulas 11 months ago

    LOL!

    This was really good and all too true. 10 and 11 were my favorites.

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  2. Brian Hood 11 months ago

    Funny stuff.

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  3. Evan Wiley 11 months ago

    I think anything that madden has ever said should make this lsit
    "you gotta get to the end zone to score the touchdown"

    how much popov did he swill before deciding to say that one on the air?

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    • Tyler Hill 11 months ago

      Whoo! completly agree, 115 percent

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    • J. Michael Morris 11 months ago

      True, but how high should our standards be when a former lineman has a microphone and 2 hours of dead air. Those ARE his original thoughts and deep introspective strategies of the game.

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    • Tyler Jones 11 months ago

      Ahh yes, John Madden. He's a genius when it comes to stating the obvious.

      You know him and Al are plastered by halftime. Especially if it's a bad game. Madden makes that obvious as well. They pretty much just start having their own random conversation as the game winds down. If it's Pats-34 and Dolphins-3, John will probably be talking about anything from Joe Montana to what he had for breakfast.

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  4. Justin Hokanson 11 months ago

    Any comments about Tebow have become cliche and are already old after only one year as a starter.

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    • Jimson Cuenta 11 months ago

      Speaking of the Florida Gators... I cannot believe that Justin left out this cliché:

      FLORIDA GATORS FOOTBALL
      A TRADITION . . . SINCE SEPTEMBER 7, 1991

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    • Jon Ellsworth 11 months ago

      JIMSON
      IRRELEVANTLY ANNOYING SINCE THE FIRST TIME HE WROTE:

      FLORIDA GATORS FOOTBALL
      A TRADITION...SINCE SEPTEMBER 7, 1991

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    • Jimson Cuenta 11 months ago

      "JIMSON
      IRRELEVANTLY ANNOYING SINCE THE FIRST TIME HE WROTE:

      FLORIDA GATORS FOOTBALL
      A TRADITION...SINCE SEPTEMBER 7, 1991"

      What are you talking about???

      The Florida Gators did NOT win an SEC Championship, UNTIL the 1991 College Football season! Therefore, the TRADITION of Florida Gators Football could have NOT started... UNTIL Saturday, September 7, 1991 :)

      FLORIDA GATORS FOOTBALL
      A TRADITION . . . SINCE SEPTEMBER 7, 1991

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  5. Lisa Horne 11 months ago

    The Schwans guy...OMG...rofl! (By the way, they deliver here every two weeks!)

    My faves:

    "They have the weapons". Well duh, if they didn't, they wouldn't be on TV.

    "He's a smart player." So everyone else is dumb?

    "Coach is excellent at making half-time adjustments." In other words, his teams suck because they are always losing by halftime.

    "Three yards and a cloud of dust". Translation: passing game is non-existent.

    "He has good field vision". In other words, his O-line gives him decent protection so he can pick out a receiver.

    "He can sniff out the play." Translation: so far, the LB's guesses have been correct.

    "He over-ran the play." Translation: he can't sniff out a play.

    "Strike the pose." How often has that prediction been wrong?

    GREAT ARTICLE....FIVE STARS... Oh wait, is that a cliche too?

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      thanks.

      as much as it's fun to to knock cliches, it's hard to put down a thousand words or two and not use one.

      it's a part of sports that isnt going anywhere.

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  6. Siddharth Reddy 11 months ago

    LOL. One of the funniest articles on B/R. Five Stars & POTD.

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  7. TJ Zwarych 11 months ago

    Hillarious article, well done, I love it.

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  8. Lisa Horne 11 months ago

    The Schwans guy...OMG...rofl! (By the way, they deliver here every two weeks!)

    My faves:

    "They have the weapons". Well duh, if they didn't, they wouldn't be on TV.

    "He's a smart player." So everyone else is dumb?

    "Coach is excellent at making half-time adjustments." In other words, his teams suck because they are always losing by halftime.

    "Three yards and a cloud of dust". Translation: passing game is non-existent.

    "He has good field vision". In other words, his O-line gives him decent protection so he can pick out a receiver.

    "He can sniff out the play." Translation: so far, the LB's guesses have been correct.

    "He over-ran the play." Translation: he can't sniff out a play.

    "Strike the pose." How often has that prediction been wrong?

    GREAT ARTICLE....FIVE STARS... Oh wait, is that a cliche too?

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  9. James Fatari 11 months ago

    After roflmao i came across these funny quotes/cliches by John Madden.....for John Madden by John Madden....

    "Whenever you talk about a Mike Shanahan offense, you're always going to be talking about his offense."

    "Here's a guy who when he runs, he moves faster"

    "To get more yards, it's best to move the ball from the line of scrimmage down the field."

    "Usually the team with the most points wins the game!"

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      comedian frank caliendo has madden down, including his many cliches.

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    • Evan Wiley 11 months ago

      the really sad thing is caliendo doesnt even have to make up material

      BOOM fresh hot buttery fresh popped popcorn!

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    • Ryan Staab 11 months ago

      My personal favorite Madden quote came during an Arizona Cardinals home game in 1998 against the Cowboys when the blimp was doing a panoramic shot of Phoenix for the Fox "Game of the Day":

      Madden: "That mountain kinda looks like a camel."
      Summeral: "Actually John, I think its called Camelback Mountain..."

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    • Brad 11 months ago

      Drew Brees' contacts got knocked out during a Monday Night Football game and John Madden said "Now here's a guy who when he puts his contacts in, he can see better."

      Ya think, John? I thought Brees was wearing the wrong prescription lenses just to make the game seem more interesting, I didn't know he could see BETTER with them in.

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    • Shawn Withrow 11 months ago

      Clearly he was wearing those contacts for cosmetic reasons. Sheesh.

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    • Nick Klopsis 11 months ago

      There's one that he said, I don't remember where it's from, but it's classic Madden:

      "Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field."

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    • Evan Wiley 11 months ago

      madden is like yogi berra with a brainectomy

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    • Ryan Staab 11 months ago

      "Brett Favre is the Brett Favre of Brett Favres."

      God bless Frank Caliendo ;)

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  10. David Wunderlich 11 months ago

    I like it when announcers forsake #14 entirely and just talk about whatever at the ends of blowouts, especially Gary and Verne on CBS. The last few minutes of the Florida-Tennessee game last year were hilarious, and neither was paying much attention to what was going on until our backup QB Cam Newton bowled over a Tennessee defender.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      it's even worse in baseball.

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    • TJ Ferguson 11 months ago

      it is terrible in baseball, although it is entertaining when it is your teams announcers doing crossword puzzles or just talking about random shit and your team continues to just roll over the opposition

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  11. Joe Barton 11 months ago

    I noticed one last year that bugs the hell out of me: "And he takes it back for a pick-six"

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  12. BabyTate 11 months ago

    Without 20, 12, and 8 there would be no coaching interviews.

    Great piece.

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  13. Rob Sansing 11 months ago

    very funny stuff. thanks.
    but I didn't understand the jab at auburn. did you think LSU get a bad penalty in one of their losses there???

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      that was just a cheap shot. most LSU fans think during our last two visits there (especially the last one) we were hosed at some pretty pivotal moments.

      i'm not really mad about it, but i'm never above a cheap/easy laugh.

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  14. Ya Girl Is Diggin Me Forreal.. 11 months ago

    THIS IS BY FAR THE FUNNIEST THING IVE READ TODAY

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  15. Nick Shepkowski 11 months ago

    “He’s deceptively quick.” - He's white and has speed.

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  1. James Doker 11 months ago

    Great article. There are so many lines we hear every Saturday in the fall, it must've been hard to whittle the list down to just 20.
    I know I'll be chuckling at home whenever I hear any of these lines this season.

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  2. Alex Ferguson 11 months ago

    Made me giggle....

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  3. Ian Peterson 11 months ago

    great article, had me chuckling the whole way through, good job

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  4. Brian Hood 11 months ago

    "the better team won today" ...ya don't think?
    "freshman phenom"......I've only heard this when referring to freshmen, I guess once you turn sophomore, you can no longer be a phenom.
    "

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      yeah, this was a football article but i want to throw up a little every time i hear diaper dandy when referring to a freshman. it's bad enough when dickie V does it now other announcers are using it.

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    • Shawn Withrow 11 months ago

      When a guy become a sophomore, and ceases to be a freshmen phenom he is then called a "sophomore sensation".

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    • T Wixted 11 months ago

      Just remember, not every phenom phenominates.

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  5. Kent Moore 11 months ago

    If you've never heard of it...check out the Brent Musburger drinking game.

    Brent's gotta a few good ones

    http://www.fanblogs.com/ncaa/005660.php

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  6. Drew Emerson 11 months ago

    "1st team all freeze"...classic!!!

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  7. Mosang Miles 11 months ago

    Awesome literal commentary in #2. I'd love to hear more of that in sports announcing.

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  8. Michael Bergman 11 months ago

    hilarious dude. I loved 2, 8,9. And I for one, would love to hear all the other funny things you regret.

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  9. Alan Bass 11 months ago

    AHAHA BRILLIANT!!!! Easily a POD!

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  10. Dan Boone 11 months ago

    A favorite Ditkaism when talking football.....

    "When they run the ball 45 times a game they win 95 percent of the time..."

    The variation is when "LT [or whoever] carries the ball 30 times they win 95 perecent of their games...."

    So why not just give the guy the ball the first thirty plays and guarantee the win every time?

    Ditka used to actually try that....

    Nice Cheerleader!

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    • Divya Parmar 11 months ago

      Thats true.

      To run the ball 30 times a game, YOU'RE ALREADY AHEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE and have the LUXURY of running the ball 30 times.

      The 30 runs have nothing to do with actually winning the game.

      I guess that bothers me as well.

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  11. Samuel Bell Jr 11 months ago

    Great article I really enjoyed reading!
    Is it time to put the "Manny Being Manny" thing as a outdated cliche? I'm sooooo sick of hearing it!

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  12. Ben Sharpe 11 months ago

    Very funny, and all 110% true. Having 20 examples was a gutsy move, and displayed considerable intestinal fortitude. It proves the writer has a good engine and can hack the pace. However, you're only as good as your last article....and...oh dear, they're catching!

    Cheers.

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  13. BigReg 11 months ago

    I knew a girl who had her ears pinned back. But that was not for football, it was because her ears stuck out making it look like some guy had been pulling on them.

    Great article, almost made my coffee come out my nose.

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  14. Kyle Meadows 11 months ago

    "That was an athletic play"

    Think about it

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  15. Patrick Shields 11 months ago

    "He is on fire right now Brent!" ....hmmm, someone should probably put him out then.

    first article on here that has made me laugh out loud. Nice piece, enjoyed it.

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  1. Michael 11 months ago

    Football fields have a grade so there is a hill to them and one can go downhill.

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  2. Joy Kuykendall 11 months ago

    That was a really good arcticle! You are so right about how annoying the cliches, are, too!
    Good Job, Justin!

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  3. Bruce Dickenson 11 months ago

    Very nice job. I can't remember how many times I heard Mangini say "There were a few throws he'd like to have back, but..."

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  4. Jeremy Goldson 11 months ago

    I'm getting a little tired of the descriptive words like "pancake." I mean what's wrong with "flattened" or "steamrolled?" But, my BIGGEST frustration with television commentary is the obsessions with technical terms and details that don't really add to the narrative of the game. I am as interested in the intricacies of a Bill Belichick defense as the next educated football fan, but that is the sort of activity for halftime or pregame. I don't need a retired player to try to explain it all to me in the 35 seconds between each play and then realize he's out of time so he assaults me with technical jargon that, let's be honest, shows us more about how much football he thinks he knows than what he wants me to know. Phew. It's nice to get that off my chest.

    Love the article, such a clever idea.

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  5. Ryan Staab 11 months ago

    I was berated endlessly for using #20 in my first year of writing sports in college. Grown to hate that phrase ever since. Great commentary, POTD.

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  6. Tom Dessalet 11 months ago

    Very Funny Article!
    I hope you'd also take unkindly to somebody playing "out of their mind." I'd like to see Pat White or Tebow taking snaps well into senility. The chaos that would ensue; maybe they'd even calls plays for quarterbacks-who-just-want-to-be-running backs. Damn, too late.

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  7. Ryan Staab 11 months ago

    Also, are my eyes deceiving me or is Sparky doing "The Shocker"?

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    • Brad 11 months ago

      It's a pitchfork. More than one school does it - like for Houston, they use that hand sign and it's a cougar paw.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      ha.

      a cheerleader and "the shocker" in the same pic. i'd call that a two-fer.

      i love that ASU adopted that as their own.

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  8. Ben Horner 11 months ago

    Hahaha great job...Don't forget "Play your game" As opposed to playing your game along with the other 30 games that day

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  9. kevin williams 11 months ago

    No mention of the made up word "trickeration"? God, I hate that crap!!

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  10. kevin williams 11 months ago

    No mention of the made up word, "trickeration"? God, I hate that crap! How stupid!

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  11. bob mantz 11 months ago

    17 made me think of Airplane! when he says, "Pour all the lights on the runway." And they do. Great write.

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  12. chad lamasa 11 months ago

    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. So true.

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  13. Will Shelton 11 months ago

    What's really sad is, in this day and age, when's the last time any of us heard something really original?

    Nonetheless, this list is a positive cliche of your choice.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      i wanted to excercise my irony muscles and write an article about cliches which probably in itself is cliche.

      whoa, i need to lie down for a while.

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    • Shawn Withrow 11 months ago

      Will - I found it funny that you used the "in this day and age" cliche to talk about not hearing anything original. :O)

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  14. Edmon 11 months ago

    "You can't win them all" - Really, thanks. Obviously you've never played NCAA on Junior Varsity with your sliders all the way to the right. Good stuff man.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      then you'll appreciate this:

      my favorite innuendo line in that game is the whole Lee Corso "he can smell the end zone" which leads to the giggle worthy....

      "now smelling it and tasting it are two different things...."

      i giggle inside like a 6th grader every time i hear it.

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    • Edmon 11 months ago

      I've never thought about like that. Now I won't not be able to think of it like that.

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  15. Jody Rope 11 months ago

    EVERY announcer and player begins every other sentence with "Anytime..."
    as in, "Anytime you give up the ball inside the one..." or, "Anytime you get 3 sacks..."

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  1. Brandon Wolf 11 months ago

    Another couple....
    1. He sure diagnosed that play. It was like he knew it was coming!!!
    2. Did you see that move?! He shook him out of his jockstrap!

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  2. Shaun Ahmad 11 months ago

    Hands down the funniest and most clever article I've read on Bleacher Report.

    5 Stars and Pick of the Day without question. Great work!

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  3. Roger Gowens 11 months ago

    Good job. I cringe the most when I hear for the 10,812,927th time: "That throw was right on the money". Is that a gambling term or what?

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  4. Rik B 11 months ago

    Is there anything worse than an "ill-advised pass"? Who is advising? Why are they listening? Is this the result of someone just shouting "Throw it!" and they do it without thinking? Is it the fault of the thrower or the shouter?

    Maybe they mean ill-considered.

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  5. Jody Rope 11 months ago

    EVERY commentator and player uses "Anytime" in every other sentence, such as, "Anytime you lose the ball inside your own one..." or, "Anytime you can put pressure on a quarterback..." or "Anytime you come into a stadium like this and win, it's a thrill."

    I also hate "out there." Like--"We gotta go out there and win." Or. "I just want to get out there and play."

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  6. Matt Gilmartin 11 months ago

    Nice article.

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  7. Nathan Blunck 11 months ago

    5 stars and pick of the day. good work. one of my favorite movie scenes of all time is when kevin costner is teaching tim robbins cliches in bull durham. funny, funny stuff

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  8. Silver Fox 11 months ago

    Sports cliches are always fun to discuss.

    "catches the ball with his hands" (as opposed to...?)

    "running downhill" (you mean, the field is not level?)

    "He just needs to play within himself" (I won't go there.)

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      catching with his hands is a great one.

      although it can be done other ways if you watched david tyree in the super bowl or that guy featherstone in the movie "necessary roughness".

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  9. Dorothy Willis 11 months ago

    Wonderful article. I had forgotten how much fun it was to watch football just to criticise the cliches and laugh at John Madden! I did not heed #8 and allowed my German Shepherd Kasey who weighed 125 # to play on my team, and although he could tackle like anything he caugt a pass and crushed the ball ending the game by "taking the air" out of the offensive team. #9 would have applied immediately after Kasey made the catch.

    Loved this article so much it hurt! *****

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  10. Corey Raible 11 months ago

    The worst has to be "he coughed it up." Nobody fumbles anymore, they "cough it up." It's stupid because nobody ever jumps onto something that has been coughed up.
    During the draft you'll hear that a guy has "fumbling issues." It's a way of saying he fumbles alot.
    Another is "moving the sticks." Instead of getting a first down, they move the stcks.
    "Too much/not enough air under the ball" is a way of saying it's an awful pass.
    I hate hearing how the Jacksonville Jaguars are a "very physical team." Every sports team is a very physical team.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      fumbling issues.

      i like that. like the player needs to go into treatment for it.

      my name is justin, and i have fumbling issues. see, it all started with my mother....

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  11. Mitch Rowe 11 months ago

    The shocker thrown up by Sparky and the cheerleaders never gets old though.

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  12. Michael Bergman 11 months ago

    Dang you got popular with this one. I'm sure the pic of the cheerleader didn't hurt. wowza.

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  13. Jim Orzel 11 months ago

    The cliche that bugs me the most is when they say..."He came out of nowhere to make that catch" or a variation..."He came out of nowhere to make that hit"...doesn't make sense, you have to come from somewhere to make the catch or the hit, why not just say..."He came from somewhere we didn't expect him to come from to make that catch"

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    • Shawn Withrow 11 months ago

      Funny. I am pretty sure that NCAA rules would prohibit someone from teleporting onto the field just in time to make a catch.

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  14. Shawn Withrow 11 months ago

    Fantastic and very funny article. Here are a couple I have noticed. The 110% really bothers me.

    1. It is becoming more frequent to hear: "When you talk about..." as in When you talk about good defense that is what you mean. Or when you talk about speed this guy is what you are talking about. So annoying. May have been started by Madden.

    2."At the end of the day we just got it done." Why is everything happening at the end of the day? Should we just all stay in bed until just before dark, since nothing really happens until then?

    3."We just have to go out there and play hard". No not really, it is a bit more complicated than that.

    4."Take care of business" Are we filing and typing or playing football here?

    Finally I'd like to add a one word response that I read last year that was not only original but also witty. WVU's Noel Devine was asked by a reporter to describe his running style. His answer: "Fast".

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  15. Jimbo 11 months ago

    Awesome!

    But enough about me; this article was fantastic! ;)

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  1. Tyler Hill 11 months ago

    Lol, all of thesse were great. I really like 15 it something thats always been on my mind whenever I hear it. I'm with you on number 12. 115 percent on this one!

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  2. Terry Houton 11 months ago

    Yeah, here's one:

    Defense wins championships.

    Wow, I guess that means the side of the ball that actually puts the points on the board needs to find another line of work since the defense is doing all the work.

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  3. Tim Nguyen 11 months ago

    How about "It is what it is". The most classic one.

    Haha, "Defense wins championships" is the one that I always use.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      i actually like "it is what it is" b/c you can't really argue it.

      everybody reacts to it like it's some great piece of wisdom like whenever forrest gump says "stupid is as stupid does" the person he says it to is like "yeah, i guess so."

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  4. Blah Blah 11 months ago

    This article is taking it to a whole other level...

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  5. Jon Ellsworth 11 months ago

    "He really brought the wood."

    "In terms of..."

    "There's one guy out there on everybody's watch list, and that's the young man from Florida, Ti Tebow." There it is.

    "Their defensive (and/or team) speed..."

    "Look for him to use that height as an advantage."

    "He'll be playing on Sundays."

    Clices can be great if you have the right guy talking. I loved Keith Jackson with his dramatic, narrator voice. He used every cliches, but never sounded like an idiot. Mussburger just sound like an idiot, as does the irrelevant Mike Torico. If y'all get to watch The Mountain sports, James Bates and Todd Christensen are actually very good.

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  6. Blah Blah 11 months ago

    Or, "He didn't show up today..." Oh really - who's THAT on the pitcher's mound right now then?

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  7. Reggie Garcia 11 months ago

    This really made me LOL

    Great article

    my POTD =]

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  8. Divya Parmar 11 months ago

    I love 6, 12, 16, 18. Great article.

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  9. Matt Strachman 11 months ago

    I love how (most decent) announcers nowadays are like lovable retards ha

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  10. Nick Klopsis 11 months ago

    This is really hilarious... A great article.
    How about when a running back "has some daylight"? It would really suck if they were playing at night, the running game would be nonexistent...

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      i had no idea there were so many solar powered running backs. do the oil companies know about this??!!

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    • Mitch Rowe 11 months ago

      Yea, like the announce from my televised high school games used to say everytime the HB made a cut..." HES GOT SOME ROOM" ending in a 3 yard gain LOL

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  11. Justin Goar 11 months ago

    i also meant to add two of my faves from the coaching world (not really cliches as much as go to phrases)

    les miles: says the word "football team" like 7 times in a paragraph.

    his best cliche is "opportunity" as in "we welcome/look forward to the opportunity to play the wildcats this week."

    nick saban: uses "relative to" about 50 times every press conference. also the verbal period at the end of his sentences come out as "aiight"

    so a typical saban sentence would read...

    "we are not exactly where we want to be now relative to where we want to be...aiiight."

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  12. Keith 11 months ago

    Great Article!

    "There was no loser in this game. Both teams played their hearts out." Actually, I think the scoreboard read 28-27, and someone is gonna get a notch in the L column.

    Along the same lines, but not quite as irritating: "It's a shame someone had to lose this game." - Doesn't that mean it's also a shame there was a winner?

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  13. Tom Dessalet 11 months ago

    I wish sometime I could meet a "hard-nosed" person. As much as they're spoken about when you watch the games, I've still only ever come in contact with people with pretty soft, cartilaginous ones.

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  14. Tony Asci 11 months ago

    "They were taken out behind the woodshed."

    That's just disturbing, and illegal, I think. That little trip might get you arrested.

    "He took it to the house."

    During the game? He left with the ball and went home? What a baby.

    "He cleaned his clock."

    That's seems nice. Friendly. What a good Samaritan.

    "That game was won in the trenches."

    I have a pretty good TV, but I don't see any divots, gulleys or trenches on today's football fields. What is this--the Death Star in Star Wars?

    "He puts his pants on one leg at a time."

    No comment.

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  15. Will Shelton 11 months ago

    I noticed that right after I hit "submit". It's like, you know...death and taxes.

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  1. Derek Mahaffey 11 months ago

    In response to 20) “We have to take it one game at a time.”, I present this story from ESPN, about a team who played two games on the same day, therefore actually preparing for two games at one time.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2185866

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  2. Chris Kelly 11 months ago

    I liked the one about seeing King Ralph. I saw that movie and I must say I wasn't the same since.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      it's a "watershed moment" in anyone's life.

      man, we have enough cliches in the comments section to do like 4 more articles.

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  3. Burton DeWitt 11 months ago

    Absolutely fantastic job. #10 should have been #1, but other than that, no complaints. Funny, well-thought out article. Again, great job.

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  4. Andrew Mason 11 months ago

    Rich Rodriguez was not number 20 last year. He thought for sure his team was going to pound pitt and play in the NC. That obviously did not happen and he refused to call different plays to beat them and instead lost and that's why he is now at michigan...

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  5. Geronimo Rumplestiltskin 11 months ago

    --"He's always around the football"

    Where in the hell is he supposed to be? Out in the parking lot?

    --The overuse of the word "football". As in "We need to run the football if we're going to be a successful football team. We've got to protect the football, 'cause this is a big football game. We need tough football players to play the kind of football that we want." etc. etc. etc.

    Um, what sport are we playing again?

    --For black athletes: "He's a very articulate young man." Translation: I'm surprised that a black guy can talk in complete sentences.

    --For white athletes: "He's a terrific possession reciever." or "He's a really intelligent player." Translation: Despite being a honkey, he's actually pretty good.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      he's always around the football is good one and is synonomous (sp?) with "nose for the the football".

      of course my dog has a good nose for the football too. know what else my dog has a good nose for......?

      crotches and cat poop.

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  6. Ian Zymarakis 11 months ago

    that cheerleader in the picture u have is the hottest cheerleader by far at ASU.... I go to all the games and I am in the student section and she is incredible looking in person also

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    • Michael Bergman 11 months ago

      Well I would hope so. I'm barely able to contain myself just looking at her. My head might explode if somehow she was "the ugly one" of the squad.

      ...

      uhhh there were way too many unintential sexual inuendos in that one. sorry about that.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      i'm beginning to think this article would have 50 reads if not for the cheerleader pic.

      thanks for bringing me back down to earth.

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  7. Shane House 11 months ago

    don't even care about the article just the cheerleader lol

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  8. Ian Zymarakis 11 months ago

    As most of u know ASU decided to cancel the "cheer" squad for home games this year instead they are going to like combine the old cheer squad and the dance squad as one. Which honestly is awesome cause u guys should see the girls on the dance team, wow and with that girl on the squad I am assuming, ASU may not be #1 in football this season but they are definitely close for a dance squad in terms of looks

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    • Mitch Rowe 11 months ago

      If you ever get a chance to visit the ASU campus you will not be dissapointed, forget the dance and cheer they are nothing

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  9. Jim Sheridan 11 months ago

    You were right on the money...If I only had a dollar for every time I heard the cliches. Well Done

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  10. Brian Kernstock 11 months ago

    "He's a riverboat gambler"

    What, can't he gamble on dry land? No, he must be on a boat in a river to be compared to a QB.

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  11. David Atchley 11 months ago

    How about when some team isn't doing so well and the announcer says " They just can't seem to get untracked"!
    What , like, in locomotive terms, if they could just have a big derailment / train wreck and come "untracked" then things would be going much better?
    Just plain stupid.

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  12. Nick Condit 11 months ago

    hhaa i like the colt mccoy one and the todd beockmann one

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  13. Donna Adams 11 months ago

    Just what I needed after a long day of work! It made me laugh but it's so true.

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  14. D H 11 months ago

    nice article. my fav part was the hot cheerleader. NICE. id give her "the shocker". lol. sorry for that.

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  15. MIke Davis 11 months ago

    Good post and so true.

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  1. Rob Reyes 11 months ago

    Great post! And thanks for the very attractive pic!

    Yah, I guess the cheerleader looks OK, too.

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  2. MJ Kasprzak 11 months ago

    #12 is really #1--I am so tired of that one. If you have three apples, you cannot give someone 3.3!

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  3. Teddy Mazurek 11 months ago

    This is so entertaining! Some of these cliches I totally forgot about, but thanks for reminding me how annoying they are. I always cringe when the announcer says something about a miscommunication. Let's point out the obvious shall we

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  4. Chris Copeland 11 months ago

    I loved King Ralph

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      i hope you mean the comment about it in the article and not the movie itself, either way thanks for the comment!!!

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  5. Justin Goar 11 months ago

    thanks to everyone who voted this pick of the day. i tried as hard as possible to leave a note of thanks on everyone's profile but it got hard to keep track.

    cheers, everyone!!

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  6. n kirsch 11 months ago

    #16 -- These two teams don't like each other"

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  7. Raj Kamruddin 11 months ago

    Loved the article! Had me laughing aloud as my wife stares at me wondering whats so funny. If only she knew sports better. Than she could enjoy too.

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    • Justin Goar 11 months ago

      yeah i let my wife proofread alot. she laughed at what she got but there were some parts that left her scratching her head.

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  8. Nikki Barbre 11 months ago

    I'm a wife and I know sports pretty well. Nice job, Justin... Had me laughing out loud and my mother-in-law looking at me pretty strangely.

    But, in all honesty, I think the comments + the article + Madden anecdotes = Nikki having a pretty good time after Hooter's. :) good night for me.

    Please don't make me play the Musburger drinking game. That's almost as bad as "bus ride".

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  9. Thomas 11 months ago

    lol...good list, my favorite were 15 and 11.

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  10. Bennet Goldberg 11 months ago

    Great article and comments. Unless I missed it, my vote for number one cliche still wasn't mentioned: the need to "step it up" to a higher level. Does anyone disagree that if they hear "step it up" one more time they're going to puke? Well guess what? You'd better get that toilet bowl ready in a hurry because you're going to hear some player or sports announcer say it in the very first game you watch this year!

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  11. Ilan Tokayer 11 months ago

    Nice list, but for the record, football fields actually are higher at midfield and slope downward toward the endzones.

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  12. RedSox Maniac 11 months ago

    Really Good ! Bravo!

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  13. Donald Fincher 11 months ago

    Wow. I don't think I've ever seen so many comments on an article. I read through most of them because I didn't want to be that guy that said something somebody already said and then laugh like it was the first time anyone heard it. At any rate, I didn't see this one..."that pass had some mustard on it." My wife laughs at that every time we hear it which happens to be just about every Saturday.

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