Michael Cole: This Era's Bobby Heenan and the Best Heel in Wrestling

To hear anyone, let alone someone who seems like he knows what he's doing like myself, compare Internet pariah Michael Cole to a wrestling legend like Bobby Heenan seems ludicrous.  

Until you realize just what it is being a heel is all about. 

The object of the heel, often the deeper, more intriguing character than the traditional "good guy" or babyface, is to manipulate any inevitable feud or instance of conflict to where people will want to go out of their way to see said heel get what he deserves. 

Many feel that the likes of the Miz and even Randy Orton circa 2009 are great heels, but this simply isn't true. 

The fact of the matter is, these two men have done such a 'good job' of being heels that the very fans who are supposed to be booing them have either already turned them into good guys (Orton) or inevitably will. 

Huh?  Those don't sound like the characteristics of a great heel by any stretch of the imagination.

There's a funny dynamic about a heel who is perceived to be good at what he does.  The 10 percenters, Internet fans and pundits like you and me who have 'smartened' up to the business, tend to appreciate heels who are good at drawing heat, working hard, or presenting a believable character that we can all relate to. 

We complain when said heels are jobbed out or buried.  We take exception to these heels being snubbed from title contention. 

We care about them.  We actually like them.  Which leads me to believe that perhaps they are not as good at being the bad guy as we would like to think. 

The true heel is indeed a dying breed.  Most heels in the business today either get "go away" heat or are so "good" at what they do that they are eventually turned into babyfaces.

But not Michael Cole. 

In fact, Michael Cole is slowly evolving into the best heel in wrestling.  So much so, that he's even turned most Internet fans into the abhorrent term of a mark who is rooting to see this jerk get his comeuppance. 

Michael Cole is so good at what he does because his unlikable qualities, which have been manufactured into a slow-burning heel character, have created animosity amongst even the most jaded of fans.

Even wrestling purists, who pine for the good ol' days with good ol' JR in a cowboy hat behind a desk, all but wish death upon Cole for his attempt at replacing a legend. 

And this is all before he began to embrace the clever heel tactics that even he probably didn't think he had. 

Now, all these jaded fans who are supposed to appreciate the art of the great heel are jeering, heckling, cursing the name of, and even writing articles about how Michael Cole must die. 

Now, it's not just the mainstream casual fans who dislike this Miz fanatic, now the Internet is being worked as well.

Michael Cole is at that level of heeldom (which is a word because I say it's a word) where he isn't doing such a good job to where fans will begin to cheer him.  He isn't overtaking the spotlight to where fans notice the heel more than cheer the face. 

When heels become cheered by the fans, it is a sign that they are not doing their job correctly despite implications of their popularity.

Sure, they may be good performers, but one of the most basic rules in wrestling and theatrics is that the heel is the bad guy.  Period, end of story, nuances be damned.

If Dolph Ziggler (who for some reason has become an Internet savior), were to lose clean to babyface John Cena next week on RAW, the subsequent outpouring of outrage would be similar to the universal vehemence directed at LeBron James from the city of Cleveland just moments after "The Decision."  

If the Miz were to lose clean to Randy Orton in  seconds following an epic Miz promo, sites like Bleacher Report may temporarily go down due to excessive bandwith from the ensuing electronic riot incited by the same jaded fans who claim to appreciate a "great" heel. 

However, if it were reported that Michael Cole was to be kicked in the head by Daniel Bryan on the next episode of RAW, people would tune in in droves to see such a momentous occasion. 

And that includes the 10-percenter Internet fans who are supposedly too smart to get so emotionally attached to a character.  

That's the type of reaction a true heel is supposed to generate upon news of his dismay.

It's quite odd that a play-by-play man like Michael Cole embraces such questionable qualities.  It is indeed a risky move, as the play-by-play man is traditionally a neutral voice who even tends to lean towards the babyface point of view.  

Hell, the WWE tried a similar turn with play-by-play legend Jim Ross, but it just didn't work despite Ross' best efforts. 

However, I would argue that Ross' short-lived heel turn wasn't a failure because of his status as a play-by-play announcer. 

Jim Ross' shortcomings as a heel were a direct result of his likability factor, which was detrimental to any ill will that one could express towards him during such a legendary career. 

But Michael Cole is different.  Michael Cole is unlikable by nature because of his perceived mediocrity (an unfair and overrated sentiment blown out of proportion as Cole follows in the footsteps of Jim Ross), coupled with him being the the face of the unceremonious replacement of the greatest announcer of all time. 

The Iron Shiek was a heel.  I hated him, you hated him, we all just wanted to see Hulk Hogan whoop his butt.

Sgt. Slaughter was a heel.  Just how could an American, let alone a man in uniform, possibly sympathize with an enemy power?  What a jerk.  Thank God for the babyface Hulk Hogan.  

Bobby Heenan was known as a weasel.  He talked a big game but couldn't fight a lick, and he didn't need to because he had his always rotating stable of Heenan family members to do his dirty work. 

That's what made it so sweet when Heenan would finally get his comeuppance.  

However, believe it or not, present day Michael Cole may be better than Heenan.  Heenan eventually turned into a babyface during an NWO invasion angle back in WCW, the same type of angle that seems to be the impetus for a Michael Cole heel turn in the WWE.  

Many will try to play the go-away heel heat card when it comes to Michael Cole.  But, again, this simply isn't true.

People don't call into radio stations to talk about characters they don't want any part of.  People don't log on to wresting websites to bash characters they don't want any part of. 

It's easy, sometimes too easy, to simply dismiss an unlikable heel (Imagine that, an unlikable heel!) like Michael Cole as someone who gets go-away heat and isn't doing their job as a heel to the best of their abilities.

But I'll argue the contrary right up until the day people pay to see this "WWE Puppet" (that's what the smart fans and even some pundits actually call the guy, what a heel!) get his head kicked in. 

I was early in expressing sentiments that Michael Cole may not be as bad of a television character as many make it seem.  But not even was I prepared for such an evolution of a character that is obviously taking place before our very eyes.

Michael Cole is perhaps the only actual heel in pro wrestling.  The guy whose misfortune brings joy to everyone. 

The guy who is so smart about being a heel that he goes after the jaded Internet fans who would otherwise appreciate his work, perhaps knowing that such appreciation would defeat the purpose of him being a heel to begin with.

Michael Cole's constant pandering to the Miz character, and his brilliant "less is more" approach to making the RAW GM announcements, have solidified him a rare type of heel in this day and age where kayfabe is dead. 

This heel actually incites true feelings of animosity from all angles.   

If Michael Cole is eventually announced as the anonymous RAW GM, the same pundits who complain about TNA performing swerves for the sake of swerves will be disgusted at the predictability of such a decision.  

But I, personally, would love it.  Sure, it's predictable, but God forbid the universe defy the Internet with a wrestling angle that makes sense more than it shocks and awes. 

After all, it would be quite fitting that such disgust be directed at the best heel in wrestling, period.    

Big Nasty is the editor of The Big Nasty Athletic Dept. Log on to twitter at twitter.com/bignasty247 and follow him until he presses charges!