Natural Blondes, Big Breasts, And Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
Natural Blondes, Big Breasts, And Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

Natural blondes, Big breasts, and Floyd Mayweather Jr.

What do they all have in common? They all hate fakes.  Last weekend as I sat in the mall watching that “babe” with the huge ‘natural assets' passing by I heard a voice behind me say "you know they're fake don't you?" "No!",I answered, shameless  hussy!! Pretending to be something she's not. But why is that a problem? I asked.   

It's a problem cause she's a "wannabe" I'm told. "Ohhh! And you better not think she's a real blonde" she snapped.       Not that I would ever squeeze her purchases or pull her hair out, I said. "I would!" exclaimed my friend. Don't you know that anytime women fight the first thing we do is pull some hair? We let everybody know it's fake.

Then we snatch off clothes. She continued, obviously warming to the subject. “If she's got any padding or falsies in there, that stuff is coming out!” Really? I said pretending not to be excited.

And in that instant I learned about natural blondes, big breasts and Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Is it possible that Floyd Mayweather Jr. wants to expose Manny Pacquiao as a "wannabe"?

         No one wants to buy anything fake if we can get the real article. Why do you think Roger Clemens is being indicted now? And so it is with professional athletes like Floyd Mayweather Jr. 

                When a fighter or any athlete has superior speed, footwork, agility and hand to eye coordination, he resents the "wannabes" that find ways to ape his natural talent.      

 After all, what is more revealing than the thirty six minutes of a championship fight? In the ring two men, stripped to the waist, are examined intensely under bright lights by millions of people worldwide.

In those bright lights there is no place to hide a weapon. In the past men, about to do battle, could trust their "seconds" to make sure it was a fair fight. It was the 'seconds" job to ferret out any brass knuckles, knives, razors, interlopers etc. that afforded an unfair advantage in the conflict. In modern sports; however, the unfair advantage can be hidden inside the body itself.

A boxer’s best” second” now wears a lab coat.

In preparation for their thirty six minutes of combat, each fighter has honed his muscles, bones and sinews to work in concert.  In the air we hear sounds like missiles whistling their way to deliver explosive power. Punches, snapping punches, like these are worthy of the term "lethal weapons."

            So there is more to Floyd Mayweather Jr.s’ requests for performance enhancing drug testing than mere vanity. There is also the matter of "indemnity".

In boxing the combatants, stripped to the waist for all to see, give up more than their modesty. Integral to every boxers ‘contract is a clause in which each boxer agrees to hold harmless all parties involved in their demise if they should die in the ring.  Most of the people, calling Floyd Mayweather Jr. a coward, have "day jobs".

 I would like to remind them that even the murderers of law enforcement officials are held accountable. In some states those convicted and sentenced to die have a choice in how they will die.

     So when two boxers expose themselves and robes, flash and bravado are all peeled away. When all you can see is a fighter’s heart, remember that for our entertainment and gratification each of the combatants has agreed to lay down his life and hold the victor harmless if the vanquished should die.

So that we may be amused, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is only asking to be spared execution by a "wannabe".

Load More Stories

Follow B/R on Facebook

Out of Bounds

Boxing

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.