Onslaught: PPV Contest Entry For Michael Finley
Dark Match Zach Ryder vs. Ric Flair Battle of the Woos
MB: This is more like a crowd warm-up. Plus, I can't have one of my favorites of all time (not Ryder) not be on the card.
The Hart Dynasty w/ Bret Hart vs Beer Money vs MCMGz vs E&C TLC Match
This is more of a big fanatsy match, with succesers of the best teams in history ( Beer Money- Dudlyz, MCMG- Hardyz, Hart Dyansty-Hart Fondation, Edge and Christan-..... E&C) wrestling in the best team type match. The match ends when everybody is down after two conchairtos, a DUI, and an awesome Hart Attack on two ladders, but Bret Hart climbs up and gets the.... I guess briefcase saying they are the best team of all time? Anyway, he gives it to Tyson Kid and wins the match for the Dynasty. W: Hart Dyanasty
Sheamus vs. Sting Black Scorpin's Cage (Hell in a Cell)
Sting, mad at how fast Sheamus got the WWE Title, challenges him to a Hell in a Cell match were the cell is painted a ruthless black color. Muhahahaha! Anyway, Sheamus loses after a baseball bat to the face. However, HHH comes out afterward with a sledgehammer and they (Sting and HHH) have a staredown before the Game destroys him with the Sledghammer, spiting in the face of most IWC members.
A.J. Styles vs. Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho Ladder Match
Another fast paced dream match. All three of these men can have a good match with anyone, and they all can fly big time. Bourne wins after a botched Styles Clash on a ladder takes both Jericho and Styles out. For good measure, Bourne does an Airbourne after the match off the ladder onto Jericho, and Samoa Joe comes out and KO's everyone because Vince Ruesso wrote this show and so he needs no reason.
Kurt Angle vs. CM Punk 30 Minute Iron Man If Punk wins, Kurt Angle must join SES
The setup for this one is a bit confusing, and sounds like a WCW storyline, but bear with me. Kevin Nash gives Angle a bit of Hair treatment. After breaking his ankle, Angle decides just to try it, and walla, full head of hair. However, Punk attempts to attack him on TNA Reaction, condemming the use of hair treatment. Angle says Punk can't hang with him in pure wrestling ablity, and we get this match as a result. At the 29 minute mark, it stands 0-0 with the ref down before the SES attacks Angle and Punk gives him a GTS for the 3 count when the ref wakes up at the ten second mark. Punk shaves Angle, and brainwashs him with some Staight Edge shampoo. You can tell Vince Rueso wrote this.
Santino Machoala vs. Jay "Black Machoism" Lethal vs. The Miz (Joke match)
This is just a nice segment to give the crowd a break after 30 minutes of wrestling. Miz is late for the match, however he comes out after 5 minutes of Elbows, Slim Jims, posing, and "Oh Yeahs!". Miz kills them with that skull crashing thingy, but the real Randy Savage comes out and drops an Elbow on Miz.
Randy Orton vs. Mr. Anderson Steel Cage
Most of us know the history here, but if you don't, Anderson was fired from WWE over a botch many blame Orton on. Orton goes for the Punt, but Anderson dodges and Orton gets his leg stuck in the Cage. Anderson then slaps him in the face and climbs out of the cage while Orton pulls himself out. Anderson talks trash over the mic while Orton is stuck fuming in the ring.
RVD vs. Jack Swagger
This one is just a random match. Swaggs is pissed that RVD breaks the law by smoking weed everyday, so being the all American American American American American AMERICAN, he wants to put him to justice. Thats the best I have. Anyhow, Swagger wins the match cleanly before the SES comes out and destroys everyone.....
John Cena vs. Jeff Hardy
.....Then Hardy and Cena come out to clean house. Hardy then challenges Cena to a match, and I really don't want to talk about a medicore kiddy match. However, after a 5 Knuckle Shuffle, the SES trys to interfere again, but Cena fights them off until Hardy attacks him with a Twist of Fate, takes off a wig, and shows his hand has a big black X on it. Cena wins by DQ.
W: John Cena
Brian Danielson w/Jim Ross vs. Hulk Hogan w/Michael Cole Match For RAW's Play-by-play commentator postion
JR finnaly comes back, and challenges Michael Cole to a match. However, Cole declines due to a concussion (or so he claims), but he does offer a solution: both of them pick a rep for each other to fight it out instead. JR picks who he calls "the best", while Cole calls his old friend, a man every IWC member would spit on their grave.... Hulk Hogan. Hogans best match, but he taps for the first ever time in his life to a crossface. Danielson then puts the crossface on Cole.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Undertaker If Undertaker loses, he must never wrestle again
I don't have to say much, one of the greatest matchs of all time, Wolfe wins the match at the one hour mark by reversing the Tombstone into the Tower of Loundon. Taker gets up, breaks kayfabe by shaking Wolfe's hand, and vanishes into a cloud of smoke, never to be seen again.
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