Urban Meyer: Five Reasons Why He's an Evil Force in the College Football Realm

Jay ButlerContributor IAugust 1, 2008

As we head into the white light on the long path of the college football offseason, we start to remember all the good things that make college football great. Things like tailgating, intense rivalries, and of course, the atmosphere that encompasses all this and more make Saturdays in the fall sublime.

However, there are demons that sully this sport with their blatant disrespect towards the football gods. One such man is the head football coach of The University of Florida, Urban Meyer.

You ask: How can the 2005 Home Depot Coach of the Year be such a bad influence on the college football world? Here are five reasons why:

1. There's no crying in college football!

Following Florida's 21-17 loss to LSU on October 15, 2005, Urban Meyer was asked a question about Chris Leak, and, well, got teary-eyed because the situation he and his team were in. Dear Lord, there's no crying in football! However, if you have to cry, don't do it in a press conference where you could be shown on Sportscenter. It becomes YouTube fodder. Just ask Terrell Owens. Also, the actions of the coach transfer onto the players because the players started crying in the locker room as well. These men could snap me in half, and they're bawling because loss that they coaches could have avoided. We don't need a girly man turning tough college football players into girly men. 


2. Get that winning edge!

Back in 2007, defensive lineman Ronnie Wilson had an altercation with a man one night. Later that night, that same man blocked Wilson's car with his own, escalating the conflict. Now I wouldn't fault Wilson for beating this dude silly, but instead, he takes out an automatic weapon out of his trunk and fires it in the air. This got him suspended for the entire season, which was deserved, because under Florida law, he could have gotten 20 years in prison. During his suspension, he got kicked off the team for "undisclosed team violations," which is basically a failed drug test, but you can let your imagination run wild and pick the drug of your choice. Now Urban Meyer has been fair and let people in the past who have been suspended, but not kicked off the team, to come back on the team. I'll concede that that's fair, but the man had his chance and lost it with his "violations."  Let's go forward to this summer. There are injuries to an already thin Florida defensive line. So who shows up as a walk-on? Mr. Wilson does. How convenient. Tolerating this reckless behavior is not a good precedent to set, no matter how well it fits into your defensive scheme. It sets a bad example for young players. Kids, don't fire automatic guns and don't do drugs...


3. Compliance? What compliance?

You know you're not the cleanest knife in the drawer when your employer starts looking into your shady practices. According to a St. Petersburg Times article, the University of Florida compliance office looked into the recruiting process of junior college wide receiver Carl Moore. Thinking he could kill two birds with one stone for the athletic program, Urban Meyer called Carl Moore's girlfriend, Maranda Smith, who offered her a gymnastics scholarship as well. Well, it happens he got two violations with one recruit. With calling Mr. Moore two much and calling a recruit not inside his sport, he blatantly violated NCAA regulations. Numerous rumors of Meyer talking down about other schools and lying about playing time to other recruits have been topics of message board threads for years. While these accusations and rumors may be exaggerated, it sure puts a damper on his "family values" coach persona. The last thing college football needs is a coach overshadowing his players, which brings me to my next point...

4. You Don't Mess With The Urban!

Urban Meyer's book is entitled Urban's Way. Few things can make you sound more arrogant than referencing yourself in the third person. It makes you sound like a certain Adam Sandler character, and I'm not talking about Canteen Boy. Anyway, I'd like to reference a certain quote from this soon-to-be bestseller that I'm sure you've read: 

"That wasn't right.  It was a bad deal. It will forever be in the mind of Urban Meyer and in the mind of our football team. We'll handle it, and it's going to be a big deal."

Which brings me to my final point....

5. So that's how they beat us at the goal line....

You might have heard about a certain touchdown celebration during last year's Georgia-Florida game that got Coach Meyer all steamed up. The celebration, which is what the quote in the previous point is referencing to, entailed the entire Georgia team racing to the end zone and celebrating their first quarter touchdown, highlighted by Trinton Sturdivant's shuffle. It changed the Bulldogs' mindset for the game and, ultimately, for the season. Now I would be just as mad as Meyer if Richt had no apologies for what transpired that day. However, he told the players he wanted the offense to get a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty to get the team's blood boiling, not the opposing team's blood. He then offered his apologies to Meyer the next day, apologized to SEC commissioner Mike Slive, and made an apology every time it was mentioned during the offseason. Yet, Urban Meyer still mentions it in his book and during the SEC Press Days like it happened 12 hours before. Richt did his part. Meyer is just mad because the ploy worked, and it may have changed the mindset for the Dawgs. Like I said before, there's no crying in college football because it'll eventually hurt our ears too much. 


So there you have it. Coach Meyer, you need to change your ways. Otherwise, that white light that we see now could get shut off because of your dark ways...