Brett Favre Gives a List of Demands If He Is To Retire
Twenty million is a lot of money to stay retired. This is the amount that was supposedly offered to Brett Favre by Packers’ President Mark Murphy to do just that. ESPN reports that Favre is considering the offer.
My contacts in Green Bay said that the two sides were close to coming to a monetary agreement that would work out well for both parties involved. However, after leaving the meeting in which Favre received the offer, Brett came back and countered with what he called, a little list of demands.
No word if any of the demands will be met, but the $20 million offer was raised to $25 million.
I was able to get that list of demands, don’t ask me how, I am sworn to secrecy. Here is the list, read by Favre’s agent Buss Cook:
1. Brett wants the name of Lambeau Field changed to Favre Field, "The House that Brett Built."
2. Cheeseheads will now be known as Favreheads.
3. Just like when they put a player’s number with a decal on the back of player’s helmets to honor that said player, Brett would like his No. 4 on each Packers’ player’s helmet. Except, instead of having the No. 4 on the back of the helmet, he would like it on the right side of each helmet, you would have to take away one of the “G's” obviously.
4. When entering the stadium, every fan will be given a Brett Favre jersey and a pair of Wrangler jeans. It will be mandatory for each fan to wear this ensemble at every home game.
5. John Madden must be the new commentator at every Packer game. Also, there must be no less than 10 references to the great Brett Favre and the childlike joy he brings to the game.
6. Brett would like his Packer-issued cell phone back, as well as a new Packer-issued 20,000 square-foot vacation home in Hawaii, a Packer-issued Ford F-150, and a Packer-issued mistress.
7. If a Packer scores a touchdown, which will obviously be very rare because Brett won’t be throwing the ball, the word touchdown will be replaced with the word Favredown. Instead of yelling “touchdown,” from now on you will yell Favredown.
8. Two "His" and "Hers" John Deere tractors fully loaded with beer refrigerators stocked with Miller Lite.
9. Brett would never have to pay for anything at all in the state of Wisconsin.
10. Any of Brett Favre's records that are broken will have an asterisk next to them. This is because Brett can obviously still play for at least five more years. Just imagine what Brett can add on to his numbers in that amount of time?
11. Finally, Brett would like to have at least a 20-year grace period on this list, you know, just in case he changes his mind on any of his requests.
If these demands are met, Brett will strongly consider retirement, for real this time.
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