Okay…I left these for last to introduce what’s wrong with theme music, primarily that of what TNA has done to these two seemingly powerhouse entities. First of all, neither of their songs has even enough lyrics to bother quoting here. RVD’s song, these days, is just a repetition of his initials followed by “The Whole F’N Show,” in the same exact beat all the way through. Probably why he powerwalks to the ring, so we don’t have to listen to it for very long. While I will concede to how catchy it is (I’ve found myself humming it occasionally), I annoy the crap out of myself doing it for more than a minute because the “song” never gets to the good part. The songs I've referenced previous? I could listen to them three or four times over and still not be bored, in fact, while writing all this, I've done just that. With RVD, I keep expecting a huge build up after the chanting, then to have the speakers explode as Rob enters, but it’s just the same chanting all the way through. Team 3D’s new TNA theme is basically a generic rip off of Powerman 5000’s Bombshell, with “Get up, get up, get up” substituted with “Watch out, watch out, watch out” and I think what follows is a muffled “Mother f****r.”
It’s low rent, lazy, and cheap on TNA’s part.
They can put oodles of cash into Hogan, but guys who at least have enough in them to put on a good match (even if Hardcore Justice is not going to live up to its name) don’t get the strong tunes they deserve. Catchiness does nothing for them aside from getting people chanting, and it doesn’t set up who they are. It only shines light on how DONE these guys really are. Sheamus, Drew, Evan, Miz, Nexus, maybe not so much CM Punk as he’s been around for a bit…those are all fresh faces that are making waves one way or another. Whether it’s taking and keeping Cena’s belt, being heralded as The Chosen One, encouraging a serious underdog rivalry with Chris Jericho, ripping apart Raw, or saving those in need with bodily healing, the future is in their hands. And if their stories get enhanced, and WWE plays this royal flush just right, they could keep their brand extremely compelling.
Rob, D-Von and Ray? They’re yesterday and the crummy songs that TNA gave them are sad, flimsy, and uninteresting.
When they were in WWE, their songs were killer. Rob Van Dam used to truly be one of a kind. He used to be unique and special, and the destruction the Dudleys used to rain down on everyone…EVERYONE…from other wrestlers, to Divas, to Mae Young (I saw her get put through a table live, and it was great)…meant those two (three if you count Spike) earned the right to wear the light blue camo into the ring, because they were soldiers who were made everything blow up. Neither had particularly complex lyrics, though Bombshell does deserve a mention, check it out…
Now look who’s coming, yeah, look who’s back
Quick, drop the bombshell straight to the track
21st century killing machine
Burnt on the inside, a five-headed team
Now I’m not the same because you’re not the same
And you’re not the same because I’m not the same
And we’re not the same this could never be the same
And we just want to survive
Maybe not a Grammy winner, but still, it set some tone, gave a duo that was otherwise pigeonholed by their love of destroying long planks of wood the microscopic sliver of depth they needed. It also, in an arbitrary way, broke a bit of a taboo with WWE policy, in that it made veiled reference to them being ECW Originals. Look who's back. We’re not the same because you’re the same. They weren’t the same when they came to WWE, Bubba Ray starting with a really silly stutter, which Matt Morgan then adopted during his short stay in WWE. But the Dudleys were something new in WWE and they made everyone stand up and take notice.
I feel bad for them now…
Picture from Wikipedia, Author: Nick Noid