Manny Ramirez Traded to Chicago Bears for Rex Grossman, Landmark Status (Humor)

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Manny Ramirez Traded to Chicago Bears for Rex Grossman, Landmark Status (Humor)

The Chicago Bears have finally added the arm they have needed in their backfield. 

And no, it's not Brett Favre.

After Manny Ramirez made it clear that the Boston Red Sox were considering making a deal with the Green Bay Packers (see above photo), the Bears swooped in and traded star-crossed quarterback Rex Grossman to Boston for the 12-time MLB All-Star.

The Bears will assume the duration of Ramirez's contract—however, they will not exceed the salary-cap limit for this year.

"It's a great move for both teams," said Bears general manager Jerry Angelo, at the team's press conference.

"We needed a quarterback that could effectively lead the team and could throw the deep ball. Although Manny's had an easy time of it playing in front of the Green Monster, we believe that he'll soon be hooking up with Devin [Hester] regularly on deep routes."

The move will make both Grossman and Ramirez the first two-sport athletes since Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson in the early 1990s.

"It was just time for Manny to move in a different direction," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, in a written statement. "He wasn't happy here, and hopefully he'll be able to better showcase his talents and personality on the football field.  We wish him all the best."

Both Chicago and Boston players seemed surprised but satisfied with the deal.

"This kid Grossman's got a cannon. Forget the cutoff man—he can get it into the catcher from the base of the wall before the runner's rounding third," said Sox manager Terry Francona. "I did hear that he had some accuracy problems though. Any word on that?"

"Well, he's not a scrambler—from what I've seen when he hits a home run, he'll be a pocket passer," said Bears veteran center Olin Kreutz. "Still, he'll be a leader on this team, and he should feel right at home. I think he said that Kyle Orton's beard reminds him of playing with Johnny Damon."

Also included in the deal were the extra seats the Bears added in their 2003 stadium renovations. With the removal of the seats, Soldier Field will return to its former national landmark status.

The Red Sox organization plans to divide the seats among Fenway Park, TDBanknorth Garden, and Gillette Stadium. Team insiders said that while some seats would be added to the exclusive "Monster Seats" in left field, one special seat would be situated atop Pesky's Pole down the right-field line.

When asked how the usually strait-laced Bears would work with Ramirez, Angelo responded with a surprising comment.

"In a place like Chicago, they'll love him and we'll love him, too. Who wouldn't want to see a quarterback high-five one of the fans after he throws a touchdown?"

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