The Hot Chick in Left Field: How Manny Ramirez Finally Crossed the Line

Maybe you’ve dated one or maybe you were buddies with a guy who dated one. No matter, really. It isn’t a stretch to say that everyone has experienced the really hot girl who has an obscene amount of issues.

It probably went something like this: you started talking with her and next thing you know, you’re dating. Maybe it happened kind of fast, but she was hot so what all was there to think about? All your friends passed around the kudos to you because you significantly outkicked your coverage with this chick. Everything seemed perfect.

This probably went on for some time. Sure, maybe there were some hiccups but, dude, she was really hot and as such, you let her get away with selling your big screen at a yard sale for $50 because she needed cash to get a pedi/mani. Who needs a big screen anyway, right?

The relationship developed but instead of both personalities assimilating together, she continued to do her own thing while you got more and more attached to her. But you blindly continued seeing her until that one night.

Yep. Everyone remembers that night when she wrecked your car, maxed out your credit cards, and traded your 360 straight up for some French toast. To top it all off, she held your German Shepard, Maestro, hostage continuously shouting "HIM OR ME!"

But you lived through it and after some counseling and an anti-depressants, so did Maestro. You knew that you had to cut it off with this girl, but the one thing that ate at you was that she was just…so…hot.

And so Theo Epstein and Red Sox Nation find themselves staring across the table at Manny Ramirez. Regardless of his gaudy stats and the fact that he is arguably the best right-handed hitter of his generation, Ramirez is quickly approaching Public Enemy No.1 status in Red Sox Nation as he threatens the sanctity of the Red Sox pennant race.

While most of the Red Sox faithful are familiar with Ramirez’s not-so-subtle power trips, this year his behavior seems to pack a considerable potency given the three-horse race in the AL East and the tenuous nature of Boston’s grasp on a playoff berth.

It may be safe to say that the majority of Red Sox fans are well-versed in this mid-summer exercise of “Manny being Manny.” But as with any other relationship, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Frankly, the act is old and the winds are changing.

As ushered in by the idiots of 2004, Epstein seems to be placing a premium on chemistry and predictability, neither of which seem prominent in Manny’s repertoire.

While it is very easy to see Ramirez’s contract, while quite large, as a tremendous bargain given the carnage strewn about the other mega-deals inked in the infamous 2001 free agency period (See Hampton, Mike), Ramirez’s support in Beantown is trending downward fast.

He is tiptoeing out of his prime and while past years saw innocuous activities like faking injuries, this year has seen Ramirez physically accosting a traveling secretary as well as sheepishly avoiding the Yankees and Joba Chamberlain especially.

Only Theo knows when Ramirez’s tenure in Boston will end. But as we all can personally attest to, there comes a time when no matter how hot the girl is, all the baggage and maintenance she requires just isn’t enough. Even if she’s a first ballot hall of famer with an ample amount of dreads and ridiculous bat-speed.