Welcome to the Big 12 Football "Player Haters Ball"

Props to ESPN.com's Tim Griffin for ranking hate among Big 12 fans towards other Big 12 teams.

As expected, Mizzou finished in the middle of the pack. Ranking at No. 5 isn't bad; it means we don't suck (Baylor and Iowa State are No. 11 and No. 12, respectively), our players don't get paid to work at car dealerships without actually working (Oklahoma No. 2), and we aren't total d'bags.

Obviously, what the team does makes your hatred towards the team and fans a little more "healthy."

Outside of Mizzou ranking in the middle and Baylor and ISU in the basement, I'd make a few adjustments. Coming from a Mizzou perspective...

1. Kansas: Easily the most arrogant football fans in the B12, even after only one good season waxing cupcakes. Even more arrogant than Oklahoma or Texas fans.

2. Nebraska: Living amongst these d'bags, you can't imagine the obnoxious "We're gonna win the title in '08!" and "Joe Ganz for Heisman" shit I've already heard. Steven A. Smith thinks you're annoying. Because some Husker dick dropped his soda on me and called me an 'asshole' after he did it, you get No. 2. Need more reasons? Peep Huskerh8er's site.

3. Texas: Jealous that all Big 12 schools have to compete to get the players that you never offer schollys to.

4. Okie State: I bet you didn't think you'd see them this high. T. Boone Pickens' pockets move the Pokes up to No. 4. T. Boone buys college football, and his team is still pathetic.

5. Texas Tech: Listen, I didn't dislike Tech until all this "We should be favored in the Sowf" stuff started from you. You'll get routed by Oklahoma and may play Texas close. They are No. 3 in the 'Sowf' at best and No. 5 in my hate.

6. Oklahoma: I would have had them in my top four last year, but the fans are good and very knowledgeable, even if their coach is a prick. Trust me, I'd never root for the Sooners, but I don't mind seeing them smoke Texas.

7. Kansas State: Would move up if they were any good. Freeman is a whack job, but other than that, who else do the Mildcats have? All of their players are JUCOs that are there for a season or two. Never get enough dirt on them to hate. K-State gets minor props for a few hot KSU girls that I work with.

8. ATM: Hard to hate a military school. Too bad, Baylor and ISU are like an abused puppy. Jovorskie Lane kinda seems like a whiny biggity bitch, but I don't have that confirmed.

9. Colorado: It's really hard to hate Dan Hawkins. He is my favorite coach outside of Pinkel in the Big 12. Boulder is awesome for a college kid, if only for the 'aroma.'

10. ISU: You just suck less than Baylor. Congrats.

11. Baylor: Ever said you hated a retarded kid? Yeah, me neither.