Cleveland Cavaliers

Cleveland Cavaliers: Help Wanted

BOSTON - MAY 13:  Mo Williams #2 of the Cleveland Cavaliers reacts after he is called for a foul in the fourth quarter against the Boston Celtics during Game Six of the Eastern Conference Semifinals of the 2010 NBA playoffs at TD Garden on May 13, 2010 in Boston, Massachusetts. The Celtics defeated the Cavaliers 94-85.  NOTE TO USER: User Expressly Acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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Bailey BrautiganFeatured ColumnistJuly 9, 2010

Position of King Available

 

The Cleveland Cavaliers are looking for a qualified team player to fill the position of King for their organization. The King’s primary responsibility is leading the team to a championship and not choking during the playoffs.

 

Essential Duties and Responsibilities

Working in conjunction with other team members and coaches to develop a strategy for winning in Cleveland.

Providing a strong role model for the youth of Cleveland. Loyalty is a must.

Taking responsibility for shortcomings and not blaming management or surrounding players.

Living up to the title of "King." Our experience is that this title must be earned—not self-appointed.

 

Qualifications

Experience as a team player.

Loyalty to teammates, organization, and fans.

Ability to dunk without traveling.

Strong family morals a must, although parental involvement with the rest of the team is no longer a requirement.

Appreciation of lake-effect snow.

Ability to make decisions without an ESPN special.

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