Les Miles: Reaux Tide Reaux?

We have been teased with coaches, football players, press conferences, one-on-one interviews, and sound bites until we think we have had enough. But we haven't.

We need more excitement.

Oh sure, there's the Beijing Olympics coming up. Sounds exhilarating, doesn't it?

Already, some new drinking games have surfaced, and so far, taking a shot of tequila every time an athlete gets busted for doping sounds like the consensus winner. After the cycling events, America could suffer some serious sick-day work shortages. But I digress.

We, the nation of college football fans, are now, officially, in a funk.

The aftermath of Media Days has settled down, and now, college football fans wait. A brutal 31 days until the first football game on Thursday, Aug, 28.

Does it matter who is playing that day? I'll watch Mary Poppins State take on either William or Mary, dang it.

Fear not football fans, you are not alone. The coaches, players, and press are right there with you, sharing the pain of it all.

In fact, fall camps haven't started yet, and already some coaches have lost their sanity and/or collective minds. Thank goodness. At least we aren't alone.

Les Miles has already officially started the smack wars in the SEC with his hilarious comment to LSU fans regarding last year's win in Tuscaloosa. He playfully chided the Tigers' fans to "not to make too much of that game, as it seems like a lot of teams in Louisiana beat that team."

Les, we missed you. Thanks for the snippet. We can't wait to hear more. Seriously. You are the best comic relief in the country. You have schooled Lou Holtz.

If only Nick Saban would play along and give you a parting shot back. Then again, when you lose to Louisiana-Monroe, what can you say? Reaux Tide Reaux?

New Bruin coach Rick Neuheisel has already renewed the intense rivalry between USC and UCLA by throwing down the first gentle jab. "The good news is that when we catch them—I say when we catch them—we're going to not only have caught the leader of the Pac, but be among the programs that challenge for the big prize."

Dem's fighting words coach! We love it! If Dorrell had that same attitude, well, you wouldn't be here right now. Carry on.

While Buckeye's coach Jim Tressel certainly was a rock star at Big 10 Media Days, the aftermath of Purdue coach Joe Tiller's description of Rich Rodriguez as "a guy in a wizard hat selling snake oil" (after Purdue lost a prized recruit to Michigan) has still had some lingering effects and made Tiller an "American Idol" of sorts.

Rich Rod's response to that Tiller quote? "I've been working on my new snake-oil concoction, and I want to give it to Joe."

USC coach Pete Carroll was even more to the point when venting about some of his frustration of the long wait before the season starts. "Cush (LB Brian Cushing) and I would like to go out into the halls and go at it now, and I'd kick his butt."

Pete, all of us reporters were waiting for that to happen. Quit teasing us, but are you freaking serious?

Cush could have taken on the entire staff of the LAX Hilton with one hand tied behind his back, and still have eaten his neon-green chicken lunch. (And yes, the chicken was neon green, and no, we don't know if Phil Knight was in charge of the catering.)

If you think the coaches and players are the only ones antsy for a little smack, consider what Bill Plaschke wrote in his article for the LA Times.

"On the cover of the USC media guide passed out Thursday, there are photos of four defenders with All-American and/or Rose Bowl MVP credentials. On the cover of the UCLA media guide, there is a photo of a guy with one career touchdown, and another guy who missed all but two games last year because of an injury."

Ouch. It's getting hot in the kitchen. And Plaschke is king when it comes to stirring the pot. But where was T.J. Simers to join in on the fray?

Apparently the NFL stars are getting a little ornery as well. On a Los Angeles radio program geared towards Trojans fans, Carson Palmer, the Cincinnati resident (as in a resident of Ohio) and quarterback for the Cincy Bengals offered this loving message:

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"I cannot stand the Buckeyes. It’s amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there."

"I just can’t wait for two years from now when SC comes to the ‘Shoe and hopefully we’ll have a home game that weekend, and I can go up there and watch us pound on them in their own turf."

"I’m really getting sick of it, and I just can’t wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience LA and get an old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whoopin’ and go back to the Big 10."

(Do you have the sneaking feeling Palmer was really addressing his own team instead of the Buckeyes?)

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"Palmer, suddenly realizing that his family probably shops for fresh meat and produce somewhere in Ohio, back-pedaled, and offered this explanation for his rant:

“I’m a Trojan all the way, and I was talking to a Trojan audience in California. I guess I got a little fired up, as all good fans will do. But I really do respect the Buckeyes, and I know their fans are passionate, too. I hope they all understand I’m just looking forward to a big game for my school against a very tough opponent, and that it’s all in the good fun of a rivalry. You don’t have a real rivalry unless both sides are great teams.”"

"Reporters note—May God have mercy on the Trojans when they host the Buckeyes on Sept. 13.


*Special thanks to Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times.
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