How To Make The Cubs Better In Six Easy Steps
Living in Chicago with two baseball teams makes for a sometimes interesting season and as a White Sox fan whom for a long time HATED the Cubs I can no longer sit back and watch as my fellow Chicagoans suffer.
So, to the Cubs fan here is some "friendly" advice on how you as a fandom can help the Cubbies become winners.
1. Quit spending your disposable income on a loser.
Every year the Cubs draw over 3 million fans into that rathole Wrigley Field. If I could sell a sub-standard product and 3 million idiots are constantly buying it...I'm going to keep selling it.
2. Blow up Wrigley Field and built a new stadium.
Wrigley Field is a dump! Quit trying to pass this off as some type of temple to baseball, if the Yankee's can built a new ballpark...then the Cubs can too.
3. Learn the game!
An educated fan base is an owners worst nightmare because he/she knows that they can't put garbage on the field.
4. Ban booze!
For those that don't live in Chicago, the common believe among many Chicago baseball fans is that Wrigley Field is a beer garden where a baseball game breaks out. People don't go to Wrigley to watch good baseball, they go to get drunk.
5. Fire Lou Pinella
He is a drunk! He couldn't win it all with Ken Griffey Jr. (in his prime) with a very Mariners team what makes you think he can win with the Cubs roster?
6. Come to a White Sox game...
How can you know what an organization that is about winning is like if you've never been there? Even the ushers at U.S Cellular have a winning swagger!
If YOU the Cubs fan can get other Cubs fans to put down the gusto (beer), sober up and follow these six simple steps you can help your team get to the promised land. It might take another twenty years but Cubs fans have waited 100 years whats another twenty?
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