Come to Think of it...Something Fishy Going on with these Cubs

As the Chicago Cubs continue their fall from grace, a familiar statement is etched upon the walls of Wrigley Field. Except you can't see it because the ivy is covering it.

It says, "failed expectations," year 100 version.

This was supposed to be our year. Just like 1969 was supposed to be. And 1984. And 2003. Get the picture?

Well, it still can be our year, but things have got to start changing immediately and I just don't know how that is going to happen, given the trends.

First of all, the bullpen needs to improve and quickly. Yes, I know Kerry Wood is hurt, but a lot of the situations we're getting burned by are earlier in the game, before Woody would even be in the game.

Let's face it, Cub fans, this bullpen would try and use a wad of gum to stop a leak in the Titanic, for crying out loud.

It seems every time Bob Howry comes in, he gives up a run. Carlos Marmol got out of a jam yesterday but the old Marmol wouldn't have even gotten into that jam in the first place.

And yes, let's bring in the kid for his first ever major league appearance in a game situation, late and tied. Fit to be tied is how I'm feeling. Seems we've seen this plot before.

Lee and Ramirez, Ramirez and Lee. No matter how you slice it, those guys are not clutch hitters and both are prone to slumps that come in bunches. That's what we saw in last year's playoffs. And even when he's not slumping, Lee couldn't get a meaningful hit if you placed the ball on a tee for him.

Fukudome is starting to become a bust. OK, I said it, I went there. But hey, popularity isn't why I write. And the truth is simply that we have three more, very expensive years of a powerless corner outfielder who can't go anywhere.

Arghh.

What we do know is...

...that the Cubs can't win on the road. Check.

...they are only 3-3 in their last six home games. Check.

...the bullpen is a mess. Check.

...Soriano is back. Check. (Hey I may be a realist, but I'm not a fatalist)

...After two more home games, they travel to Milwaukee for a four game series against the second place (but perhaps soon to be first place) Brewers.

The Brewers want to win as badly as the Cubs. Which isn't fair, this is our year, dammit, so why can't all the other clubs just lay down and let us win this thing? Let them wait their turn. The poor Brewers haven't sniffed the playoffs since 1982? Well, boo f'ing hoo. You won't get any sympathy from a Cubs fan.

Oh well, at least Rich Harden goes for the Cubs on Saturday. Hopefully, he'll get his first win as a Cub. He'll be opposed by tall righthander Chris Volstad, who has pitched well in the first three starts of his career.

Strap it on, Cubs fans, it's a long season. Come to think of it, you might want to bring some newspaper to wrap the fish.