Yesterday, my son wanted to go to the Dairy Queen. Since I’m trying to eat healthy, I inquired about the selections they had that didn’t resemble candy.
The girl offered me a chocolate covered banana.
I said, “That’s it? Don't you have a more phallic desert?”
Obviously not. So when she handed the treat my way, one thing crossed my mind:
I’ll have to hold this in a way that makes me look like I’m not enjoying it.
But there’s no way I can hide my pleasure about the series win in the Bronx.
Everyone’s thinking the bat formation in front of Chase Utley’s locker before the Thursday whooping was the series clincher, but I believe there’s only one thing that can cause a change this profound:
Charlie Manuel is on performance-enhancing drugs.
Of course I’ve alleged that before. But how else do you explain Greg Dobbs getting a hit, Raul Ibanez stealing a base, or the Phils finding a rally without Jimmy Rollins?
When’s the last time the team hit back-to-back homers? When’s the last time they even got the ball over the fence?
And when’s the last time we spelled bullpen relief like this: Jose Contreras.
I haven’t had that many questions since I spent the night with Jose Cuervo.
And what about that guy named Placido Polanco? His name doesn’t yet roll off our tongues like Rauuuuul Ibanez, but since the questions surrounding his ability to be effective in the hot corner surfaced at his signing, having a guy named Polly has been nothing less than poetic.
He’s the only guy in the starting lineup still hitting .300-plus and he has the highest fielding percentage of third basemen in the National League.
But when he saved Kyle Kendrick from ruin in the sixth by mounting the tarp, his face had this taunt appearance as if he was up to no good.
I’ve seen the same expression on my dog.
He was having a good time too.
That brings us to the most pleasant surprise of the series—Kyle Kendrick. He was welcomed to the show in 2007 and was up against some heavy hitters for Rookie of the Year like Ryan Braun, Troy Tulowitzki, and Hunter Pence.
Although he’s hardly lived up to the accomplishments of those guys, do we dare hope he’s finally on pace?
Last night he not only had his tempo down, he could lead the marching band. Maybe with the pressure of JA Happ’s return and the question of who’s moving to the bullpen, Kendrick was forced to pitch more like a guy who belongs in the rotation than someone who just got lucky.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The great irony is, three days ago Roy Halladay was considered the key to taking this Yankees series. Instead it was won with a kid that caused my ulcer and a grandpa named Jamie Moyer who’s intent on being the oldest pitcher to do everything.
Wait, that made Jamie sound like my dog.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It might be too early to sing Kyle’s praises—he still walked two and only fanned three, but the composure he showed made him look as stoic as that other strawberry blond, Roy Halladay.
There’s one thing the two hurlers didn’t have in common last night—Kyle Kendrick smiles when things go his way. I saw a big toothy smile.
And barring a great hit here or a good catch there, there’s been a drought of things to smile about lately.
So the big question remains: Have the Phillies turned things around?
That depends. Are you arranging knickknacks in your curio cabinet or talking baseball?
I will say this: There’s no doubt I’d rather be enjoying Phillie wins then munching down on a treat of extraordinary size with a guilty look on my face.
But let’s face it—every game is 27 outs. Charlie went as far as to say if they win every series, they’ll be sitting pretty.
And if they do that, there’s no way I can act like I’m not enjoying it.
Regardless of what my husband says.
See you at the ballpark.
Copyright 2010 Flattish Poe all rights reserved. Catch life one-liner at a time at http://twitter.com/ABabesTake