WWE Viewers' Choice: A Universal Delusion

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WWE Viewers' Choice: A Universal Delusion

WWE dubbed the latest episode of RAW as Viewers’ Choice Night. While some decisions were put into the hands of the WWE Universe, the options presented didn’t offer much debate among whom or what should be chosen.

Yes, it was a night for the WWE Universe to be heard, but only after the WWE told you what to say.

The first choice was made available to the arena audience. The participants had been decided by WWE—Edge vs. Randy Orton. Given Orton’s current arm/shoulder injury, the contest wouldn’t be a straight-up wrestling match.

That’s where the first decision came into play. What kind of contest should it be? The choices were a debate, a sit up contest, or a “One Hand Tied Behind Your Back” Match.

Wow, that’s a tough decision. Let’s see, the first option is crap. The second option is crap. Okay, I guess we’ll take the third option.

Good job, WWE. Thanks for giving us a choice without really giving us a choice.

The next match was, again, already decided: Big Show vs. Chris Jericho.

Wait a minute, didn’t wwe.com advertise the potential to decide a Jericho vs. The Miz in a “Loser Shuts Up” Match? I guess that meant the WWE could have potentially decided to grant us that option, but decided against it.

So what did the fans get to choose with Big Show and Jericho? Another stipulation. I voted for the Submission Match option because it was the only one that kept things somewhat level. But, much to my disappointment, the WWE Universe chose the most skewed option—a Body Slam Match.

Well, I wonder who won that one.  

Next up was The Hart Dynasty vs. Viewers’ Choice. Finally, we got a chance to set up an actual match. It’s too bad the WWE gave us three choices that made “None of the Above” a more desired option. The people chose the team of The Great Khali and Hornswoggle to face The Hart Dynasty. At least it was a squash match and we didn’t have to suffer through our own choice for long.

On to Santino Marella vs. Vladimir Kozlov—another stipulation choice "match." We could have chosen from a regular match, an arm wrestling competition, or a dance-off. I’m guessing it was sheer morbid curiosity that compelled the viewers to vote for the dance-off, which won in a landslide victory with 84 percent of the votes.

At this point, I was switching channels between RAW and Last Comic Standing and it was becoming increasingly difficult to differentiate between the two.

Next up was a Divas Match or something. Whatever.

On to Sheamus vs. Viewers’ Choice.

So we got to pick another opponent. Great. But first, we had to watch the WWE skew the votes by setting up a pre-vote confrontation between Sheamus and The Big Red Machine, Kane.

Of course, Kane won the vote.

Hmm, who was really in charge here? The viewers? I think not.

Then we had a tag team match with R-Truth and Viewers’ Choice against The Miz and Viewers’ Choice. This wouldn’t be so bad if our choices weren’t so logical. It wouldn’t be strange to see R-Truth team with Christian, MVP, or John Morrison on any other night.

So why give us those superstars as the only available choices? Viewers’ Choice should be about presenting options that are extraordinary and memorable, not something familiar and expendable.

John Morrison won the vote to partner with R-Truth, while Zack Ryder received the privilege of partnering with The Miz. Of course, Zack Ryder’s poll opponents were two other inconsequential competitors, Dolph Ziggler and William Regal.

The grandiose Drew McIntyre was up next, his opponent supposedly chosen by the people. But who were the choices? Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, or a mystery opponent.  The mystery opponent’s silhouette was shown prior to the vote, and it was quite obvious that it was Matt Hardy.

Considering the current feud between McIntyre and Hardy, plus the irrelevance of the other two choices, WWE once again funneled the votes towards a particular person. There wasn’t much choice in this one either.

Thanks again, WWE.

John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio in a Ladder Match? Did you see wwe.com intimate that match as a possibility for the night? I did, but once again, that was not an option.

Actually, we could have chosen Rey Mysterio as John Cena’s opponent, but there was no mention of a ladder.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, CM Punk won the vote against Rey Mysterio and Jack Swagger to become John Cena’s opponent in the main event.

I have a feeling that WWE was expecting Mysterio to win because it probably would have preferred for what happened next to occur against two babyface superstars instead of one of the top heels.

During the main event, as I’m sure everyone saw, the entire clan from NXT “invaded” the arena. They decimated everyone and everything in sight. It was by far the most intriguing part of this RAW.

The WWE produced nearly three hours of pure boredom in one night, but redeemed itself with the last five minutes of the show.

It nearly made me forget all of the asinine happenings that occurred mere moments before—and I won’t even mention the piteous "A-Team" performance.

So WWE, please do not schedule another Viewers’ Choice program. The decisions were also predestined anyway. They were just presented in a way that made it seem like the fans possessed the authoritative hand.

We didn’t. We know it.

From now on, you create, you perform and we’ll watch.

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