Well to all the MMA sports fans who will be attending the annual International Poetry Conference and Awards Ceremony hosted by Tony Danza at the Riviera Hotel in the conference center, don't expect me to be there in person to accept my award. And yes, I have already been notified that I am a winner.
What? You won't be attending either?
Well, wait just a doggone cotton pickin' minute there, pardner! I know why I'm not going, but what's up with you?
I am not going to pony up all that cash to stay at the Riviera in Las Vegas, of all places, to receive an award that I already know I have won.
My excuses?
1. I am agoraphobic (no that doesn't mean I am afraid of gamblers, it is fear of the marketplace, and if that doesn't describe Las Vegas, then I am Sister Dorothy of the Disillusioned).
2. I have Multiple Sclerosis and can not stand the heat. Last I heard, it is hot in Las Vegas.
3. I do not travel well. Hate flying, but long drives are worse for my health.
4. I will not accept an award in a wheelchair, and would probably do a double gainer if I attempted to stand up from my chair to recite my poem.
5. Even though the poem I have chosen for them to read is entitled "GSP," Georges will not be attending, so neither will I. (Do I care if my poem is read and Tony Danza who loves fighting cries?)
6. I dedicated the poem to Paulyne St. Pierre who will also not be attending.
7. My husband would probably eat too much and want to gamble. We both need to lose weight and watch our finances. (No, traveling expenses were not included with the prize.)
8. I did not win a monetary prize. I had to pay them to ship my award to me. So now you can call me Lady Ambassador, since I am now considered an international ambassador of poetry.
(Yes, for writing a poem called GSP about who else: Georges St. Pierre. So you can stop voting for me now. And I just heard that massive sigh of relief so you better watch it, as you are skating on thin ice.)
Okay, so we could leave our sons in charge of the dog and horses, but we won't, because we love them too much to take any chances (with the animals, I mean).
And my mother just gifted me with a brand new Town and Country van. It rides so smoothly even I don't mind it. (Traveling in the van mind you, not the van itself being a gift! What fool would mind that?)
We did just have a 40th wedding anniversary.
Oh pooh! I am not going and that is final. But here is my poem:
GSP
Dedicated to Paulyne St. Pierre
George "Rush" St. Pierre
Comes into the arena like he is floating on air:
Dressed in a gi of blue, red or white
When he is in the octagon it is the fight of his life.
Montreal, Quebec, Canada is his homeland
His whole body is a weapon, not just his hands;
He has heart, strength, spirit and brains
For the love of martial arts, not the glory he trains.
When he answers our questions it is straight from his heart;
He was raised a true gentleman and fits the part.
His fans can't get enough of his voice and charm,
When he is not fighting, to everyone he is warm.
Georges "Rush" St. Pierre comes into the arena
Like he is floating on air!
And incidentally, I have forgiven every one of you who did not vote for me in the poetry contest or for Georges in the ESPYs, so you may come out of your hiding places.
Olly, Olly, Oxen, All in Free!
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