The Pittsburgh Penguins And The Road To The Stanley Cup: THE MOVIE

Matt HunterCorrespondent IJuly 22, 2008

For us Penguin fans what would be more exciting than a Hollywood movie made about our beloved team?  Nothing would be more exciting, and I am sure that Michael Bay would love to take this project under his wing.

I could not think of anything better than to see an action movie with maybe a subtle love struggle in there (Come on every girl loves Sid).  Throw in some explosions and some good fight scenes, and you will have yourself a blockbuster.

The only way to get people to come watch this amazing idea by me is to have a A+ cast to play the team, and I have come up with six actors to play the top line of the Penguins.  Now hold back your excitement while reading the rest of this, because I know you will start envisioning where this can go, and probably how ridiculous it would be to see some of these actors playing this roles.

1. Sidney Crosby played by Tom Cruise

Why not give the star player a star actor to play him?  Now we would have to get Tom Cruise to learn how to skate probably, and will have to get Sidney to do the stunts on the ice, because there is no way Tom Cruise can do the moves that Sidney pulls in games.

2. Evgeni Malkin played by Daniel Craig aka James Bond

Lets not lie here Evgeni is a bad ass, he is a perfect example of Soviet steel, and who better not play him than a bad ass who fights Russians Daniel Craig.  With Sidney you have the guy who is always with the ladies, but with Geno you have the one who is always beating the shit out of people, and taking names.

This movie is getting better by the minute I know.

3.  Jordan Staal played by Aaron Eckhart aka Two Face in The Dark Knight, or the main character from Thank You For Smoking.

With this character you would have the timid and quiet Jordan Staal played by Aaron Eckhart who I think fits with Jordan very well.  This character would probably have very little lines the whole movie like maybe 3, because I do not think I have heard Jordan speak very much since he came to the Penguins. 

Follow me here though, he does not talk the for the whole movie until the end when they all come together and he gives one of those epic Independence Day speeches right before the team goes out to play their last game.  It would take everybody breath away, with the words that were spoke, and for you sensual men probably a tear or two would fall

4. Sergei Gonchar played by Kevin Spacey

I do not know if you are like me, but when I look at Sergei I think he is a lot smarter than what people may think, and who not better to play him than Kevin Spacey.  He would be like the Egon from Ghostbusters.  He would have all the answers for everything, and on top of that he would be developing new weapons/equipment for the players (Hey we have to have some gun fights in this movie or we will lose the non hockey fans).  With his contraptions people will think they are watching a James Bond/Batman movie, which by my calculations would amp this movie up about ten fold.

5.  Brooks Orpik played by Brooks Orpik

Why not allow him to play himself?  I mean I am pretty sure that he could handle a few lines.  Plus he would need no stunt double when beating people down in the movie.  The only problem would be controlling him while filming, because we all know the rampage he went on in the playoffs when he hit about everybody and their mothers in about 10 seconds.

6.  Marc-Andres Fleury played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse aka McLovin!

You have to have a comic relief in the movie, and why not give it to the goalie.  McLovin would be the perfect actor to play Fleury I think, and the first time he takes his helmet off you know the theater would erupt in laughter.  In addition to this Fleury just looks like he is at most 13 years old, so having him being played by this character would just add to child look.  Do not forget either too that McLovin can take a punch, so he is all good to get into a scuffle in the movie as well.

Alright that is my idea for the Pittsburgh Penguin Movie: Road To The Stanley Cup.  With this cast I am seeing a blockbuster here, and if you Michael Bay decide to direct this movie I call at least 10% of profits since this was all my idea.

If you have any ideas for other actors that could play these guys too let me know.  This is just a blue print of this epic, so any additions will be welcome