Lately it seems that sports fans are mesmerized by the "it could happen to us" motto. I don't blame you. With the miracle 3-0 comeback by the Philadelphia Flyers against the Boston Bruins, as well as other surprising upsets and comebacks throughout the NBA playoffs, what are we supposed to think?
I'm here to help all of you with your false hopes and dreams. There's no need to have you hanging on the edge of your seat only to see your dreams shattered and your face full of tears.
Here's the top 10 "don't get your hopes up" scenarios in sports:
10) Mike and Mike will still be on the air for another five years - I want it to end. You want it to end. Sports fans in general want the worst radio show in sports to end as soon as possible. But it won't.
We all used to enjoy the show, but now it's just annoying and so over-produced that it's not even entertaining. I'm tired of all the lame cliffhangers like "Golic had a hang nail on his big toe. I'll tell you why after the break."
Or all the ESPN-forced rhetoric that comes out of these two. Their contrasting opinions seem almost fake on most issues just to make the show go and it just gets old.
How many "Greeny is gay" and "Golic is fat" jokes can we really take? Please just get off the air because we know we're hearing what ESPN wants you to talk about instead of sports issues you should really be talking about.
9) Brett Favre will not retire in 2011 - Brett Favre is coming back this year. We all know that. After this surgery, he'll be back in purple and gold and go on to have another great season.
Just like last year, don't count on this one ending in the promised land. Another Super Bowl - less year will bring him back for an additional year. For a while, I was sick of the Brett talk.
Now he's hardly in the news because of all the previous speculation regarding his possible retirement. We expect him to come back so we don't need or have breaking news everyday telling us what's going on.
Good for Brett and good for us because he's a staple player in the NFL. To boot, I need him around just to keep my site name relevant.
8) The NHL will not be aired on ESPN - The one thing that needs to happen in 2011 to make the sport relevant won't when the NHL's contract ends with Versus.
The biggest reason for this: you guessed it, money. I actually think this will end up working out for the NHL though. Before, I thought that every sport needed to revolve around ESPN, but that just isn't the case anymore. Versus may not be on everyone's TV right now, but the the availability of channels has grown significantly in the past 10 years.
The NHL will be aired on a few different stations, none of which with an affiliation to ESPN. They'll find a market that fits them well.
7) Tim Tebow will not score a single passing touchdown this year - I'm a Tim Tebow hater and damn proud of it. The guy is going to suck in the NFL. For all the thousands or hundreds of thousands of people who purchased a Broncos #15 jersey in April, I would return it to the store right now.
We've heard that he is in line to see around 15 snaps a game, but I don't think that will happen. "Tebowmania" should die down after a couple of miscues early on. I think the Tebow experiment will end before it even starts. If he sticks to running back, then it may work. If he stays behind center, then it won't.
6) Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquaio will not fight in 2010 - The fight is bound to happen; when it will happen is a whole different story. This fight will not only decide once and for all who is the greatest pound for pound fighter in the world, but the winner will leave the ring with a legacy in line with some of the greatest boxers of all time.
To the disappointment of boxing fans everywhere, it won't be this year. Here's how it will go down: Both will make their easy millions with a few easy warm up bouts. Then we'll finally see the epic battle ... sometime after 2010. Another factor to consider is the inevitability of a rematch, no matter the result.
When's the last boxing match that we knew would have a rematch?
Pavlik/Taylor and Vazquez/Marquez?
Both were great fights that made us want sequels, but it's not like we wanted it before we saw the fight. This fight is in a league of its own and in a year other than 2010.
5) Stephen Strasburg will not have more than seven wins - Oh No! Did I just commit blasphemy against Jesus? I'm definitely going to Hell now.
I know he's dominated the minor leagues, but coming to the big leagues is a whole new ball game. The Nationals may have a winning record right now, but let's see what they look like after the All-Star break.
Then we'll know if I'm right or wrong. Strasburg will be great in the future, but I think the hype will wane off quickly. Let's not forget about the Nats offense either. The run production won't be there for Strasburg to win games.
4) The USA Soccer Team will not finish in the Top Eight - I don't think that they even make it out of their group, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt thanks to several injuries on the English team and one of the easiest groups in the World Cup.
America has their hopes up for the first time in soccer, but it won't last after they get eliminated as most soccer fans in the USA will be flat lining by the end of June. The team just can't match the talent around the world. Maybe give us four to eight more years and then we will have a shot at the Cup.
3) Neither the Orlando Magic nor the Phoenix Suns will make the NBA Finals - Let's face the facts here my friends. The Lakers are 27-3 at home in their last 30 games. Did we forget that there would still be two games left at the Staples Center even if Phoenix wins Game 6?
It's not going to happen.
The Lake Show will return to form tonight and win the series, probably in six. In the East, we see every single senior citizen and their grandchildren from the Orlando area jumping back on the Magic bandwagon. No team in the NBA has ever come back from 3-0 and it's not going to happen now.
Stan Van Gundy can thank David Stern and Eddie Rush for saving his job by not getting swept, but Orlando is not winning this series. Lakers versus Celtics, just how we all wanted it.
2) LeBron James will not be a New York Knickerbocker - I hate to even delve into this ridiculous chaos that no one knows anything about. The one thing I do know is that LBJ will not be playing in MSG more than two times next year.
Star players don't go to teams because they love the city; they go to teams because they can win. Athletes only go back to their home towns or favorite cities when they are on the final stages of their career, and Bron Bron is far from it.
So where do I think LeBron is going?
I'm actually going to pick a place that nobody seems to bring up: Cleveland. LeBron is staying. The Cavs will go out and get a big name coach and they will pull off a trade deal for Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, or Joe Johnson that will help solidify the team. Ohio's own will stay in town to once again bear the weight of Cleveland a.k.a. the Armpit of America on his shoulders.
1) The New York Jets will not make the playoffs - Everyone’s favorite Super Bowl pick seems poised to make another run at the Lombardi Trophy, but they won't even get the chance to play in the post season.
The Sanchise was solid his first year, but I don't see his skills really improving. Teams will be ready for him and therefore will stop the offense easily.
The loss of Thomas Jones will be felt early on once Shonn Greene gets injured. Then we'll have to watch LT try to carry the load and tarnish his legacy even more.
The defense will be solid, but with other talented teams in the AFC East I'm trying to get Jets fans to take a step down from their high horses right now.
So that's my advice and predictions for all the things that people are legitimately believing in sports these days. In the words of Mr. Perfect, "I'm not the type of guy who says I told you so, but I told you so."
I may be wrong, but don't get your hopes up.
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