SatireDownload App

NFL News Wire Rundown: July 21st

Tosten HeathSenior Analyst IOctober 8, 2016

I haven't done one of these since Monday. No, I wasn't curing AIDS or financing homeless people. I was doing something better: Working on the Fantasy Football Writers With Hair 2008 Draft Kit.

It's coming. This Friday. Get your camping gear ready for those lines—the FFWWHDK (oh man that's catchy, but if you can somehow come up with something better, I'd love to hear it, FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com) is faster than the iPhone 3G and has better graphics than the PS3. Things could get hectic.

But alas, I have returned home my friends. And boy I chose a good day to do it. At the moment, there are over four pages worth of Rotoworld news reports. I am salivating.

Lewis Is A Monster

Ray Lewis' offseason workout regimen allowed him to gain five pounds and reduce his body fat to six percent.

He played through a sprained ankle, a broken hand, and (plural!) torn triceps. That is a dude who PROTECTS THIS HOUSE!

Sorry for that.

Lions Don't Want The Other LJ

Booth Newspapers' Tom Kowalski confirms that the Lions are not interested in dealing for LaMont Jordan.

You know your days are numbered when the Detroit Lions don't want you. Start looking for a house in Florida, Lamont. Enjoy your retirement.

*Actual Fantasy Analysis*

The Giants have agreed to trade Jeremy Shockey to the Saints in exchange for second- and fifth-round picks in 2009. Shockey still must pass a physical.

I love this move fantasy-wise. Shockey has fallen out of favor in fantasy circles, but going to New Orleans—who has no receiving threats aside from Marques Colston (and Reggie Bush I guess) helps him enormously.

He'll be the second biggest threat in the passing game. He'll have Drew Brees throwing to him, who seriously crushes on good tight ends (look at Antonio Gates' numbers with Brees compared to Philip Rivers). The tight end position just got deeper.

Slaton Is Signed

The Houston Texans agreed to terms with third-round RB Steve Slaton on a multi-year contract.

Warrick Dunn-like potential. Oh boy!

Drew Rosenhaus Thinks Holding Out Is Unprincipled

Agent Drew Rosenhaus confirmed that his clients Anquan Boldin and Darnell Dockett will both be at Cardinals training camp on time.

Oh yes Drew. Doing what you agreed to do in a contract means you are very principled.

Andy Reid Thinks Brian Westbrook Will Report To Camp

Eagles coach Andy Reid said Monday that he believes Brian Westbrook will not hold out of training camp.

Drew Rosenhaus thinks Brian Westbrook is very principled.

Adam Schefter Thinks Terrell Suggs Won't Report

NFL Network's Adam Schefter reports that franchise player Terrell Suggs does not plan to report to the Ravens until after their final exhibition game on August 24.

Drew Rosenhaus thinks Terrell Suggs is very low...

Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Download
Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. BleacherReport.com is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices