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I haven't done one of these since Monday. No, I wasn't curing AIDS or financing homeless people. I was doing something better: Working on the Fantasy Football Writers With Hair 2008 Draft Kit...

NFL News Wire Rundown: July 21st

by Tosten Burks [HUMOR]

5

1,487 reads

Humor

July 21, 2008


I haven't done one of these since Monday. No, I wasn't curing AIDS or financing homeless people. I was doing something better: Working on the Fantasy Football Writers With Hair 2008 Draft Kit.

It's coming. This Friday. Get your camping gear ready for those lines—the FFWWHDK (oh man that's catchy, but if you can somehow come up with something better, I'd love to hear it, FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com) is faster than the iPhone 3G and has better graphics than the PS3. Things could get hectic.

But alas, I have returned home my friends. And boy I chose a good day to do it. At the moment, there are over four pages worth of Rotoworld news reports. I am salivating.

Lewis Is A Monster

Ray Lewis' offseason workout regimen allowed him to gain five pounds and reduce his body fat to six percent.

He's up to 6'1"/255. Lewis remains a top-five middle linebacker when healthy, but barely made it through last season playing with a torn triceps, an ankle sprain, and a broken hand. Don't bet on him making it 16 games this year.

He played through a sprained ankle, a broken hand, and (plural!) torn triceps. That is a dude who PROTECTS THIS HOUSE!

Sorry for that.

Lions Don't Want The Other LJ

Booth Newspapers' Tom Kowalski confirms that the Lions are not interested in dealing for LaMont Jordan.

Jordan visited the Lions a few weeks ago, but acquiring him was never a high priority. We expect Jordan to be cut by Oakland as soon as Wednesday. Kowalski also calls rumors of Detroit's interest in Chris Simms "baseless."

You know your days are numbered when the Detroit Lions don't want you. Start looking for a house in Florida, Lamont. Enjoy your retirement.

*Actual Fantasy Analysis*

The Giants have agreed to trade Jeremy Shockey to the Saints in exchange for second- and fifth-round picks in 2009. Shockey still must pass a physical.

It's a risky trade for the Saints, but the perfect place for Shockey to improve his fantasy value. New Orleans desperately needs a second receiver to catch passes over the middle, and Shockey can top his career high in receptions (74) if he stays healthy for once.
 
That would make him a top-six TE again, albeit one with huge injury risk. It's unclear if Shockey will even be ready for camp. The Giants turned down the same offer in April, but they got plenty of value to eliminate a distraction. Kevin Boss should take over at tight end.
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5 comments Last one added 11 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Taylor Gram 11 months ago

    Good read Tosten. I didn't know that rosenhouse still had clients after his "Next Question" Terrell Owens ordeal. I'd hire my grandma as my agent before him.

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  2. Jimbo 11 months ago

    Good stuff, Toastandjelly. Is your draft kit gonna be on B/R?

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    • Tosten Burks 11 months ago

      Possibly.
      I make you guys go to my actual site to check it out. You know, actually get some more traffic for myself rather than Zander.

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  3. Greg Adams 11 months ago

    Anybody else getting the feeling that Suggs is going to spend most of the season injured?

    The Lions don't want LaMont Jordan because he's not a mediocre wideout.

    I'm here all week...tip your servers.

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