Top 16 Phrases You'll Never Hear On a Baseball Diamond

Below is a selection of things that your favorite baseball players have never, and will never say. Please, add your suggestions for this list in the comments as you see fit. It is far from complete.

16. "Will that be a house, or Caesar salad, Mr. Vaughn?"

15. "Moises Alou has a really supple handshake."

14. "I enjoy showering next to Greg Maddux."

13. "That Albert Belle sure is a stand-up fella!"

12. "Vlad is being really patient at the plate today, really willing to take his walks."

11. "And the 2008 Gold Glove left fielder is...Manny Ramirez!"

10. "And the 2008 NL Cy Young winner is...Barry Zito!"

9. "Edgar Renteria has finally figured out American League pitching."

8. "You know who I miss in the Yankees clubhouse? Drew Henson."

7. "Ripken should really just suck it up and play."

6. "Another great throw by Chuck Knoblauch. You know who appreciated that defensive gem? Keith Olbermann's mother."

5. "I hear Jim Leyland is on the patch."

4. "Tony Gwynn is too sexy for his shirt."

3. "I love seeing games at Tropicana Field. Such a great environment."

2. "Joe Buck just knows how to make everything more exciting."

1. "You know who sucks? Albert Pujols sucks."