Lebron James Rumor Round-Up

There currently are a lot of rumors swirling around about LBJ, and I think he would really appreciate it if I took the time to dispel the dumb rumors and give cryptic answers about the true ones. 

I will be grading rumors on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not so true and 10 being extremely true.

Lebron and Chris Bosh to the Chicago Bulls: 8

Lebron wants to win and he wants to win now. His best shot at winning a championship immediately is going to Chicago with Chris Bosh. This is where the rumor gets complicated, the only way both go to Chicago is with one of the two being involved in a sign-and-trade. Bosh has already put Chicago down as a team he is willing to be traded to, and Cleveland would be wise to grab a package involving Luol Deng if LBJ is set on leaving. 

Delonte West and Lebron's Mother, Gloria James, have been sleeping together: 1

This rumor started going around after LBJ lost to the Celtics. Supposedly, Lebron found out about Delonte and his mom after game 4, and this caused a breakdown in team chemistry that directly resulted in the losses to the Celtics. Right, the reason Lebron lost wasn't due to the fact his supporting cast is filled with choke artists and the Celtics played suffocating team D, but because Delonte was having secret sex with Lebron's mom. (P.S google "Delonte West drives the lane", it accidentally brings up this rumor) 

This rumor is foolish and it's a result of old men's penchants for chain emails. Seriously, what's so great about a chain email? Chain emails are so antiquated; Now there is Facebook, Twitter, Stumbleupon, Chatroulette, and Textsfromlastnight to get ridiculous messages across the internet.

There are secret bonuses in Lebron's contract that activate if he signs with a big city team: 2

There don't seem to be any official clauses in his contract, but that doesn't necessarily mean he couldn't have a super-secret clause hidden in his contract that you can only see with a decoder ring. Sometimes things are hidden in obvious places for a reason. For example, I had no idea that there was a treasure map hidden on the back of the Declaration of Independence until I saw National Treasure. 

Lebron James is the man responsible for leaking the new iPhone: 2

No comment

Worldwide Wes is shopping Lebron James in a package deal with Air Bud: 3

Though Air Bud would provide more support than Antawn Jamison, I just don't think any team would be willing to put up with the headache both divas would cause. 

Lebron James will go play Tight End/Slot Receiver in the NFL: 5

Ok so maybe this won't happen, but the reason I gave this rumor a decently high rating is because there is no doubt in my mind Lebron James would be a Hall Of Famer in the NFL. Seriously, he is 6'8'' and would simply be uncoverable. He weighs more than most linebackers and has deep threat speed. Teams would have to use a lineman to bump him on the line every down because a corner or linebacker trying to jam LBJ would be laughable.  

Lebron James will team up with Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor to form the Avengers: 1

If Lebron really wants to win a championship, this is his best option.