Cleveland Cavaliers Agree to Change Name to the LeBronland LeBrons
In an attempt to keep hometown hero LeBron James in his home town of Cleveland, the Cavaliers are in talks to make gigantic concessions in order to keep James in the city that he has lived in his entire life.
To do this, the Cavs have decided that it would be in their best interest to agree to change their team name if James were to stay with Cavs. The new name was decided to the the LeBronland LeBrons.
Now many of you are thinking that, without Cleveland in the team name, this is a team that has no real identity with a certain area.
Owner Dan Gilbert has already come up with a solution to that, and a deal is almost completed with mayor Frank G. Jackson to change the name of the city where said team is based from "Cleveland" to "LeBronland."
Gilbert said this of the changes, "Let's be honest, our city hasn't won a title in 46 years. We are f***ing desperate right now. Really f***ing desperate."
You would think that the fans would be mad about these changes, but for the most part, they have accepted them with open arms.
One Cavs, er, LeBrons fan said of the proposed changes, "If we don't have LeBron on this team, our best player is who? Mo Williams? Antwan Jamison? Shaq? I won't be a Cavs fan next season. I'll be a LeBrons fan, or I won't watch basketball."
"What other city can do this. Cleveland doesn't have the rich history that Chicago and New York have, and let's be honest, changing some sort of monument like the Willis Tower or Madison Square Garden won't have the same effect that having a whole city named after him will," said Gilbert.
Another provision in this deal is that every street in the city of Cleveland, um, LeBronland, will be named with a number, then the word LeBron, then avenue. For example, there will be 1st LeBron Ave., 2nd LeBron Ave., etc.
There are only two reasons why these changes may not happen. The first is if LeBron chooses to play for another city. The second is if LeBron doesn't want to play for a city and a team that both bear his name.
"I mean, if he doesn't like it, we can change it. We can be flexible, we can get him whatever he wants, I promise," said Gilbert, seemingly flustered after I threw out the possibility that LeBron might not want to play for a team named after himself.
Fans from other cities have been less excited about the idea.
"LeBronland? It sounds like a sh***y amusement park that I would take my eight-year-old niece to," said a New York Knicks fan.
"I say they change their city name to LeBronland whether LeBron stays there or not. Cleveland is a loser city anyway, at least their city name will have something about a winner in it," said a Chicago Bulls fan.
Whether the ploy works or not, it is obvious that Cleveland Cavaliers are serious about keeping the king on his original throne.
If you want a serious look at how much Cleveland wants LeBron to stay, check out this video entitled "We Are LeBron."
I'm Joe W.
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