NHL: How to Survive the Long Offseason
Let's get this show on the road.
After July 1, there's not much to look forward to, except the opening games over in Europe.
To be honest, the first week of free agent signing has been the most exciting thing this July. The Entry Draft was exciting, but now we're into the most boring, slow time for any hockey fan—the offseason.
Here's some tips for surviving the dreaded long off-season:
1. Go to your local department store (Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, Future Shop, etc.), and look for any of Don Cherry's Rock 'Em Sock 'Ems.
2. Hope that as you rummage through old VHS tapes, you taped an old game from the early 1990s.
3. Go onto nhl.com everyday and check out the feature stories and video.
4. Go onto your favourite team's website, and check out video of your favourite players.
5. Get out the XBox, PS3, or PS2, and play some NHL 08. Or for you good old video game junkies, the Super Nintendo or Original Nintendo—remember 'Blades Of Steel'?
6. Look for a road hockey game going on in your neighbourhood. Start a game every week with friends and neighbours.
7. See if there's a recreation league that you can either play in or watch at an arena close to you.
8. Go to your local sportswear store and gaze at all the jerseys. Think about who would look good in a certain jersey. Try on all the hats. Get nostalgic about older teams.
9. Write an NHL article on BR about why the NHL off-season is too long and boring.
10. Talk about everyday events as if they were part of a hockey game.
11. Eat your food hockey style. Use french fries as hockey sticks, and little pieces of corn as pucks. (Might get annoying to others.)
12. Wait anxiously every day to read the NHL highlights in the daily paper—only to get let down, because nothing happens that day.
13. Watch the NHL Network—or you have it, Classic NHL,
14. Watch TSN or ESPN all day, and read the same NHL ticker news story over five hundred times.
15. Play golf.
16. Try to write the new Hockey Night In Canada theme song.
17. Make a fantasy league, and simulate an entire season and playoffs.
18. Make predictions for the upcoming 2008-09 NHL season.
19. Watch the CBC's made-for-TV movie Canada-Russia '72 at least twice.
20. Hope the offseason ends soon.
Hope it helps.
Hope it comes soon.
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