I ask you to indulge me as I write a short piece in celebration of my approach on my 50,000th read on Bleacher Report.
It's really no big deal; over 700 B/R writers have already hit this milestone.
Here I offer advice to those who care to follow it. I just want to pass on to B/R writers one of the most foolproof ways to reel in the big read numbers.
That is: piss off people.
Last college football season, I was awarded three silver hot read medals while covering West Virginia. I did this by not making any friends at all.
In one article, I compared the Auburn football team to the Mountaineers' previous week's opponent: the powerhouse East Carolina. Thousands of proud war eagle worshippers told me in no uncertain terms that I had violated sacred ground: I compared an SEC team to one from Conference USA.
Bleacher Report also awarded me a silver hot comment medal for that article. I can attest to the fact that Auburn fans love their Tigers. Had I lived any closer to Alabama, my house would have been TPed repeatedly.
Nice that Auburn extracted real revenge by winning the game. The game: the final arbiter.
From the Nothing-Is-Off-Limits Department, I received another silver hot read and hot comment medals by attacking my own school. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" was a discussion of West Virginia football's history of scheduling cream puffs.
Even though I didn't take joy in angering Mountaineers, I felt then and still feel the WVU athletic director could step it up. Please don't pass that on.
So, now I've been a correspondent covering the Pittsburgh Steelers for three weeks. I jumped right in there delving into the Ben Roethlisberger situations, essentially calling Roger Goodell a racist and a misogynist.
Big mistake. Pulled in a few bronzes, but I think I should have used better judgement. I do have a conscience.
Having been at this for 10 years, I should know better. Initially, I covered the Steelers for The Football Network, a now-defunct service that was kind enough to get me a 'working press' pass for the 2001 AFC Championship game.
Lessons learned through that experience and my latest pit-bull-isms should combine with my recent upgrades of Seroquel and Abilify by my shrink (I'm not making that up) to make me a better, more diplomatic writer.
Maybe my recent bronze and silver article about rallying behind Big Ben could be a new beginning.
If not, remind me to call the doctor.