At 41-0, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is on the cusp of eclipsing one of boxing’s most hallowed records—Rocky Marciano’s perfect 49-0 record.
So, I’ve lined up the opponents for Floyd's “March to 50.”
It was wasn’t easy as each fighter has to meet a specific set of criteria:
1). They should be old—period.
2). They should be small, or very, very old with a debilitating disease.
3). They should pose absolutely, positively no threat to having a chance in hell of actually winning the fight.
But, taking the challenge to heart, I’ve put together the perfect list of opponents for Floyd to get to 50-0.
42). Roberto Duran
A perfect fit for Floyd. He’s a big name who is a natural lightweight. Sure, Duran looks more like a heavyweight these days, but since Floyd cares little for the catch weight, that shouldn’t stop him.
No, not Muhammad, who at almost 70 years old and with Parkinson's disease, would probably provide too much competition for Floyd. I’m talking about Laila, Ali’s daughter. Not only is she an accomplished boxer herself, but as witnessed by his 2004 misdemeanor assault on two girls at a club, Floyd has no problem beating up on women.
44). Sugar Ray Robinson
Yes, he’s been dead for almost 30 years, but anyone who watched the Mayweather-Baldomir fight knows Mayweather has no problem fighting a corpse. Anyhow, it would probably be more entertaining that most of Floyd’s fights. Floyd could then attest that he beat one of the all-time greats and should be immediately proclaimed as the “greatest fighter in history.”
45). President Barack Obama
Since Floyd, and most of Floyd’s followers, seem to have a problem with black people who are accomplished, educated, intelligent, and thoughtful, why not f-ck up the President? Sure, it wouldn’t be much of a fight, but it would give Floyd huge street cred.
46) Carl Weathers (aka Apollo Creed from the Rocky series)
At 63, Weathers is about the age that Floyd likes his opponents. Since most of the boxing public has no idea that Weathers isn’t actually a boxer, it shouldn’t be a stretch to sell them on the fight.
Remember that geeky kid on television from a few years back? He’s probably the most annoying character in television history, and Mayweather is still more annoying than him. Besides, I’ve heard Urkle has a mean jab and might actually give Floyd a few decent rounds.
48). 50 Cent
They were friends, and now they aren’t. Since the most entertaining part of Mayweather fights are generally the press conferences, this should be a classic. It might set a new world record for the number of times "bitch" and "ho" are used in a ten minute span.
49). Ryan Leaf
An NFL bust, perhaps Leaf could make it as a boxer? Besides, I’ve heard he needs the money after being busted for a prescription drug addiction and blowing all of his cash on Vegas strippers and real estate investments in Florida. At least he and Floyd have spending habits that are in common.
50). Danny Bonaduce (radio personality and former child television star)
Bonaduce is actually a pretty decent boxer and kicked the crap out of Greg Brady. Since Floyd looks a little like Gary Coleman, I think this fight could be an easy sell and marketed as a grudge match between two former child stars.
There you have, Floyd Mayweather’s path to a perfect 50-0 record and surpassing the great Rocky Marciano. Good luck "Pretty Boy"!