Favre, Gang Signs, and Training Camp...Oh My!

Roger Goodell announced yesterday that The Vikings need to stop tampering with Brett Favre because he uses gang signs that suggest his belief in violence and as such, he will not be permitted to return to the NFL. Favre has indicated that he would like to advocate gang violence in order to intimidate the Green Bay Packers into releasing him.

Favre's new entourage was recently seen pillaging Wisconsin on the way to Lambeau Field. Deanna Favre commented saying, "Brett has got to do what Brett has got to do. If he chooses to destroy part of Wisconsin so he can be happy, I'm behind him 100%."

Goodell was very concerned with seriousness of the situation and demanded Favre refrain from busting a cap in Ted Thompson's head. "It just wouldn't reflect a very good image of the NFL and if that happens, law enforcement might get involved."

Goodell also addressed training camp saying it was a great time to determine the final roster. "Better late than never," said Goodell, "We've been through about a thousand days of OTAs and mini camps and it still takes another month and a half to decide. The top stories always bore me. They are always about holdouts who just make the league look bad. Maybe I should suspend them."

However, the training camp topic was quickly dropped in favor of Brett Favre. Some Green Bay fans were becoming suicidal at the thought of Favre playing for another team. Was there anything Green Bay could do stop this madness?

"As far as I'm concerned this situation has shed a negative light on the NFL and I don't blame Packers fans for there emotions. As long as there are no lawsuits I'm happy."

Goodell then mentioned the possible absence of the salary cap and how it would hurt the league's popularity. "This would be an image of horrifying proportions for the NFL. Owners like Snyder and Jones would have there own private Ebay bidding war while everyone else just looks on, thinking well I ran out of cash about 800 million dollars ago."

Goodell then made snide remark about being pressed for time because The Dark Knight was showing in 15 minutes. So reporters quickly switched back to a more important subject.

With Favre throwing such a monkeywrench (those were the reporter's words) into the Packers master plan, what are the expectations for the Packers this year?

"They should do alright, but this whole situation has been detrimental to the league. Also these gang signs have been a problem. Anyone else noticed the gestures being made every gameday? Steven Gostkowski has been looking very menacing out there as he flashes those signs. Quite frankly it's shameful."

Goodell made his exit as reporters tried to ask more Favre questions, but the previews for Batman were starting.