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Brett Favre is in the news yet again after a disturbing sequence of events in a Gulfport, MS area Applebee's. According to Jim Gunson, the manager on duty at the time, Favre ordered the popular ...

Brett Favre Upset over Undercooked Steak

by Joe G [HUMOR]

33

1,823 reads

Humor

July 16, 2008


Brett Favre is in the news yet again after a disturbing sequence of events in a Gulfport, MS area Applebee's.

According to Jim Gunson, the manager on duty at the time, Favre ordered the popular Bourbon Street Steak, medium-well, at about 7:34 PM local time. When he received his food, he felt that the kitchen had "disrespected" him by sending out a steak that was medium-rare at best.

"You've made a big mistake by not delivering on what could have been a key part of my meal," Favre reportedly yelled at the waitstaff. Waitress Allison Smith offered to send the food back and bring Favre a complimentary margarita while he waited.

The rest of the meal passed without incident, until a teary-eyed Favre, done with his steak, announced that he had to use the restroom. The bewildered dining room patrons watched him enter the men's room and then quickly returned to their meals.

Gunson began to grow suspicious when Favre did not return for 45 minutes. Upon entering the restroom to investigate, he noticed that the window had been opened wide enough for a body to fit through. At this point, Gunson said he called the police.

"Look, I love Brett Favre as much as the next guy, but he needs to realize that we're trying to run a business here. I know he wanted "Ruth's Chris" service, but apparently our offer of a free dessert wasn't good enough for him," Gunson said.

After another 15 minutes had passed, a slightly muddy Favre walked in the front doors and said that he could never eat at that Applebee's again, citing feelings of "discomfort and disrespect." An eyewitness who wished to remain anonymous said that Favre had been hiding in the bushes weeping for the previous hour.

It was at this point that the confrontation between Favre and Gunson turned physical.

"Favre tried to leave, and I threw myself in front of the doors. He ordered our food, and there's no way he's taking his business to that Chili's across the street after the trouble he's caused," said Gunson. "I told him to wait until the police showed up, then we could sort this mess out."

At this point, Favre began attempting to rally the other diners to his cause. Tables four and seven seemed slightly interested, but only because they could finish their meals in peace after he left.

At the time of writing, no charges had been filed.

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33 comments Last one added 11 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. ...

    Wow... I just got a play by play of Favre eating... can life get much better? I submit that it cannot!

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  2. ...

    Funny article.

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  3. ...

    Go pick on someone your own size...because OBVIOUSLY Brett is way tooooooo big 4 u!

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      Satire, buddy. Any situation as outlandish as the Favre one is fair game.

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      Ella- I wouldnt call you buddy. I hate that word. Its disrespectful when I work somewhere and some out of towner or co-worker, thinking hes polite fake that I wont know how phony it sounds.."hey Buddy"..thanks Buddy.."

      I agree with you. These wannabe writers sit at Applebees telling their date they are going to talk about Bret Favre. The guy is a legend and look how many sheepole follow some newbie's slick article.

      Bret has every right to play as long as he wants.

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      The last thing I expected was somebody to take issue with my use of the word "buddy". If you thought I meant disrespect by it, you would be very wrong.

      It's just a satire piece though, no need for petty name calling, especially when you take a dig at the people who are reading and enjoying the article. I honestly doubt that Brett Favre would even bat an eyelash. Journalists far more famous than I are saying far worse abut him. If he really does care what I think, then maybe he should stay retired. Good day, sir.

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  4. ...

    Hilarious! Awesome work!

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  5. ...

    Well done! ;)

    (You have a rare talent.)

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  6. ...

    well played sir.

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  7. ...

    Nicely done, kid! This article so captures the bare essence of the drama (queen) that is Brett Favre.

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      I agree. Well said.

      Favre's throwing his respectable legacy out the window with this bullshit. You retired, gtfo of the NFL.

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  8. ...

    This was entirely fantastic.

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  9. ...

    Very very nice! You very succinctly painted how small Brett really is. And I laughed! I've got one in the works that you, and maybe only you, will get entirely. And I hate commas. And I hate starting a sentence with and and you've got me doing that several times here. Excellente'

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    l find this hard to believe that Brett Farve is this emotionally unstable. lf he is then there is no reason he should be playing in the NFL. l have lost all respect for Brett Farve...

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  11. ...

    ahahaha hilarious!!

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  12. ...

    Awesome.

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  13. ...

    Chris Mortenson Reports: Brett Favre To Hold A Press Conference Friday Morning To Announce That He Will Indeed Come Back to Applebees Citing That Chili's Booth Fabric Gave Him An Itch

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      This just in! After his request to unconditionally leave Applebee's was denied, he has immediately requested a trade. Apparently, Applebee's is talking to TGI Fridays and Red Robin. Also Longhorn has been accused of tampering with Brett by showing him a menu. Startling developments!

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      In a related story, Aaron Rodgers tells his waitress and her manager to shut up when they don't offer him free a free dessert and margarita.

      also

      Breaking News: John Madden Gave Brett Favre a Back Massage To Help Relieve Brett's Itchiness

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      In a related story, Aaron Rodgers tells his Applebee's waitress and her manager to, "Get on board or shut up," when they don't offer him a free dessert and margarita.

      Darn BR and it's non editable comment section.

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  14. ...

    Very funny article! I laughed out loud when I got to the bit about table four and seven being moderately interested.

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  15. ...

    Hahaha..is this stuff real? Crying in a bush for an hour! HA! Imagine what happened when the Packers lost to the Giants! This is hilarious. Five stars.

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  1. ...

    The real question is: Did Bret Favre have his baseball cap on or did he properly remove it upon entering that fine dinning establishment known as The Applebee's?

    'I can't stand it when they wear their baseball caps in the restaurant.'- John Fricke

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    I'm a huge Brett Favre fan from WI and I found this hilarious - especially the part about barring the door so he "wouldn't go across the street to Chili's" (read Vikings). Thanks for the laugh!

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  3. ...

    that is some funny stuff

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  4. ...

    Nice work, buddy.

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    Buddy,

    5 Starz for your satire. This so very well done (pun for Eric).

    (I had to wait a couple minutes and stop laughing before I could post a semi-serious critique.)

    Will you be my buddy? I'll add you to my 'buddy list' right next to Eric!

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