As a featured columnist for the NHL here on Bleacher Report and an avid hockey fan, you have a better chance at catching Tiger Woods in sex therapy than me writing about a sport other than the NHL. But seeing as the 2010 NFL Draft is such a big deal, I figured I’d throw my two cents in here.
The only difference between this mock draft and the others you’ve probably read is that there are going to be a lot of NHL references in this one—I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t at least once reference Barry Melrose’s infamous mullet.
Seeing as I’ve written about the NFL fewer times than Joe Namath has been drunk on live television, don’t expect a ton of expert advice here. There will be some insight, but probably more hockey than anything.
Duh, like Sidney Crosby in 2005, even I know Bradford is going first overall.
Like most players in the NHL, Suh has an aggravatingly tough name to spell—reminds me of Viacheslov Fetisov.
Any idiot who knows very little about the NFL draft and cares more about hockey could tell you that McCoy is going third...so I am.
Okung is pretty big at 6’5”, 305 pounds, but Zdeno Chara is slightly more intimidating at 6’9”, 260 pounds.
The Chiefs will be looking to improve their atrocious offensive line, and Bulaga will be a perfect fit. Kansas City doesn’t have a hockey team, but it might one day.
Seattle is close to Canada—why doesn’t it have a hockey team?
Assuming the Chiefs don’t take him at with the No. 5 pick, Berry will definitely be playing for the Browns next season. Cleveland doesn’t have a hockey team, and it probably never will.
This pick would make the most sense, but I know Al Davis is a worse GM than Glen Sather is with the New York Rangers, so he probably won’t take Campbell.
He’s no Ryan Miller, but Clausen will more than likely be a fan-favorite in Buffalo.
Spiller is as fast as Pavel Bure used to be. Too old of a reference, football fans?
With Brandon Marshall gone, Bryant will do just fine in Mile-High City. Another rookie in Colorado—Bryant would fit in perfectly with the Avalanche.
A 40-yard dash time of 5.19 makes Williams slower than 48-year-old defenseman Chris Chelios.
Some people have Haden ranked higher than this, some have him lower, but he will go at No. 13. Nate Clements is out in San Fran, and Haden is in. No witty hockey remark available.
He stole his hair from Anson Carter—formally of the Boston Bruins, Edmonton Oilers, New York Rangers, Washington Capitals, Los Angeles Kings, Vancouver Canucks, Columbus Blue Jackets, and Carolina Hurricanes.
McClain will be the first linebacker to go in this year’s draft but not until No. 15—similar to Jonathan Bernier being the first goalie drafted at No. 11 in the 2006 NHL Draft.
Morgan will be the best draft choice a Tennessee team has made since taking Shea Weber 49th overall in the 2003 NHL Draft.
Davis’ size will be the biggest thing to hit the Bay Area since the San Jose Sharks became an expansion team in 1991.
Pouncey is going to be the next big face in Pittsburgh behind Sidney Crosby. OK, that’s a lie, but he’ll be a great fit for the Steelers.
At least his name sounds like it could be French Canadian.
The Texans could use a cornerback like Earl Thomas, but since he’s going at No. 14, Matthews will be the likely choice. He should fit right in with Houston’s running game. How’s that for an NHL analyst?
Bengals fans aren’t too happy that they have to travel all the way to Columbus to get their hockey fix, but Gresham should make things easier for their football season.
Kind of has hair like Barry Melrose...not.
After last season’s wild-card game, it’s obvious that the Packers have a worse defense than the Florida Panthers.
There has never been a hockey player from American Samoa—doubt there will be anytime soon.
What do Graham and NHL superstar Alexander Ovechkin have in common? That’s right, they both have an “A” in the their first name.
The Cardinals have some serious competition now that hockey is red-hot out in the desert.
Mike Modano will probably be retiring with the Dallas Stars this season; Saffold will become the new sports icon in Dallas...obviously kidding.
Like Anthony Davis in San Francisco, Cody’s size will be the biggest thing to hit the San Diego since the Los Angeles Kings last made the playoffs...which was this season.
Despite his massive size—6’4” and 273 pounds—Griffen has an amazing Pro Day, running a 4.59 in the 40-yard-dash. See? Told you I knew a little football.
Quick hands is something this "Devin" has in common with Devin Setoguchi of the San Jose Sharks.
Peyton Manning can never have enough protection—similar to the Pittsburgh Penguins getting George Laraque to protect Sidney Crosby two seasons ago.
Duh, just like Vladimir Mihalik in 2005, even I know Weatherspoon is going last in the first round.