College Football: 15 Great Coaching Quotes

Coaches say the strangest things. Did you ever wonder where some of the quotes concerning college football originated? BabyTate brings you some of the sport's greatest lines.

by BabyTate (Senior Writer)

76

7293 reads

Humor

July 16, 2008

Humor, College Football, Satire, Rankings/List

15) Erk Russell, Ga Southern—"We don't cheat, that costs money."

14) Woody Hayes, Ohio State—"Three things can happen when you pass the ball, and two of them are bad."

13) Frank Howard, Clemson—"Virginia? That's the white meat of our schedule."

12) Bowden Wyatt, Tennessee—"Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor."

11) Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State—"Football is not a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport."

10) John McKay, Sou Cal—"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."

9) Frank Howard, Clemson—"I retired for health reasons. The alumni got sick of me."

8) Hayden Fry, SMU—"I don't give a hoot about the Rice Owls."

7) Spike Dykes, Texas Tech—"They whipped us like a tied-up goat."

6) Knute Rockne, Notre Dame—"I've found prayers work best when you have large players."

5) Shug Jordan, Auburn—"Remember boys, Goliath was favored also."

4) Darrell Royal, Texas—"Trends are bunk. Angry people win football games."

3) Paul Dietzel, LSU—"You learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life."

2) Bob Devaney, Nebraska—"I don't want to win enough to be placed on NCAA probation, I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."

1) Frank Howard, Clemson—"I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead."

Give Lou Holtz honorable mention for his comment while coaching at Arkansas: "Motivation is simple. Eliminate players who aren't motivated." 

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  1. Funny stuff. Frank Howard seems to be popular on this list. He must have been great with the media.

    1. Wait a minute, I thought that BabyTate was so anti-Clemson, lolz :)

    2. It was the upper classman Frank Howard that put a young Paul Bryant under his wing when they and Don Hutson were at Alabama. Howard always said Bear was a "a good boy".

    3. It seems that some how, some way Bama always has a hand in the tradition and greatness of college football...even from an alum turned coach who blurts out some funny stuff for a list of great college football coaching quotes.

  2. Ahhh, BabyTate, an article that's going to get me through my day at work. Thinking back, I remember alot of John McKay's quotes, who was well known for one-liners, but here are a few off the top of my head:

    When asked about his team's execution after a particularly poor game, McKay replied "I'm in favor of it."

    Another McKay quote, albeit from when he was in the pro ranks and one of my favorites from when he was the head coach at Tampa Bay, the kicker on the team was struggling and he admitted that he was nervous whenever Coach McKay was around. McKay replied "Tell him I plan on being at every game."

    Some great, great one-liners.

    rod

    1. no one is better than Mckay.

      the "i'm in favor of it" quote is one of my all time faves.

      i also liked a press conf he did (possibly also after a pro game) where he was talking about why they lost.

      he went on and on and said something like:

      "when it came down to it we just didn't block. but we made up for it by not tackling."

    2. Execution quote is great. I appreciate the information. Thanks, Rod.

  3. No 1. should be Pat Dye when asked by a reporter at his first press conference as head coach at Auburn.

    "How long will it take for you to beat Alabama"?

    His reply, "60 minutes".

    War Eagle!
    AubTig

    1. That is one of the alltime best. Thanks for the comment.

    2. Kent, since you brought up Pat Dye, here's a ditty about him. When he was an all-american lineman at Georgia in 1959, the Bulldogs won the SEC and went to the Orange Bowl. The only game they lost all year was to South Carolina. After the Carolina loss Georgia coach Wally Butts looked at Dye, who struggled and looked flatfooted that day against the Gamecocks, and said "son, you know the difference between you and a light pole?" Dye heaved an exhausted "no, sir". Butts replied " A light pole can at least move in the wind".

    3. No one can argue that Dye's quote marked a new era in the AU-Bama series.

  4. It isn't necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it.
    Knute Rockne

    "Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."
    John Heisman

    He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.
    -Steve Owen, about Bronko Nagurski

    I'll put you through hell, but at the end of it all we'll be champions.
    Bear Bryant

    "I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important —like a league game or something."
    Dick Butkus

    1. Bronko Nagurski, King of the Minnesota Golden Gophers.

  5. I know Butkus isn't a college quote but that cracks me up everytime:-)

    When in doubt, punt!
    John Heisman (Good Life Advice)

    Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.
    Frank Leahy, Notre Dame

    "My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor." - Bowden Wyatt, Tennessee

    After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: "All those who need showers, take them." - John McKay, USC

  6. Who was the Tennessee coach who said: "What's a Rutgers?"

    1. Let's hope it wasn't anyone from Tennessee since Rutgers played in the 1st college football game ever when it was invented in 1869, beating Princeton and Tennessee didn't even begin playing football until 22 years later when they lost to Sewanee.

  7. Pat Dye had a great quote in his press conference introducing him as Auburn's new head football coach. He was asked how long would it take to beat Alabama because Auburn had lost like 8 games in a row. Dye's response, "60 minutes." Truly classic quote.

    Good list though, those are good.

  8. When asked why Woody went for a two point conversion instead of the usual field goal in a game against archrival Michigan in which the Buckeyes were already leading by 36 points, he told the press "Because I couldn't go for three."

    For what its worth, "Three things can happen when you pass the ball, and two of them are bad." is usually attributed to Robert Neyland.

    Otherwise, great quotes from some of the game's greatest coaches.

    1. I love that Woody quote, it's one of my favorites.

    2. Ryan, I'm sure the General's quote was more like " I heard about this thing called the pass" because that is one cat that made Woody look like June Jones.
      Appreciate the comment.

    3. I've always been told that the full comment was "Three things can happen when you pass the ball, and two of them are bad. So why pass the ball?"

      Also, I happen to like "To hell with exciting. I'd rather be drab as hell and win."

    4. Lot of the '69 Wolverines spoke of that 2 point conversion in '68 as one of the inspirations for their 24-12 upset of #1 Ohio St 12 months later.

    5. I believe it. Woody's hatred of Michigan was something to behold.

  9. I've always remembered being told that the full Woody quote is "Three things can happen when you pass the ball, and two of them are bad. So why pass the ball?"

    Also, I happen to like "To hell with exciting. I'd rather be drab as hell and win."

    1. I'd rather be drab and win also. Record books are full of drab champions.
      Thanks for the comment.

  10. great quotes, babytate! loved them!

    1. Thank you very much.

  11. Wasn't it Spurrier who said-You can't spell Citrus without UT" during his days at UF. Referring teh Vols. Classic

    1. Spurrier was living in high cotton when he made that quote about Tennessee. The great one is learning common man humility at Carolina.
      Just thinking about Tenn in the Citrus, they beat Ohio St there one time and the Buckeye fans I know still talk about that game. Something about Fulmer using illegal cleats.

  12. Can there also be an honorable mention in quotes TO lou holtz?

    I believe there is an unnamed waitress that first told the joke to lou holtz: "What's the difference between Notre Dame and Cheerios?... Cheerios belong in a bowl."

    Ask Florida how that turned out. Probably the most famous "bulletin board" material ever.

    1. Cheerios, that's a great one.

  13. I don't know if he got this from somewhere else but Mike Belotti had a good one in 2004 after a game at Cal where a reciever dropped a perfect pass that would have converted on fourth down and kept the game in question:

    "Winning is a great relief and losing is only slightly better than dying."

    Not nearly as witty as the others on this list but it does get the point across.

  14. great stuff....I liked #2 best...warrant an investigation...priceless!

    1. Thank you Lisa. I like Devaney's quote also. You're a west coast person here's some Devaney trivia regarding the PAC8(10). Devaney's Nebraska won the natl title back to back in '70 & '71. After tying Sou Cal in the 2nd game of 1970 they won 23 in a row until UCLA upset them in '72. The Bruins were led in that upset by QB Mark Harmon, later a TV & film personality. Devaney must have been allergic to the west coast after those two games.

  15. When I read the title, I thought for sure that Steve Spurrier would have made at least 3 of these 15.

    1. Steve Spurrier has had some great ones. I think his best one at Carolina has been, "You ain't got grades, you ain't got nothin'".

      But the genius of Hayen Fry, "I don't give a hoot about the Rice Owls"..................

  16. ahhhh - the 'immortal' Frank Howard - I grew up listening to him when he was on The Auburn Radio pre-game shows. H I L A R I O U S !!! And I was just a kid & probably missed at least half of his humor!!!
    Much like Bobby Bowdon(sp?) is today!

    Travis

    1. Your Bowden comparison is dead on. Most folks only know of the affable Baron of Barlow Bend, Alabama from his rock that players rub even to this day.

  17. Good list. My personal Favorite:
    To Hell With Michigan!
    - Charlie Weiss

    Weiss, of course playing off Coach Bo's favorite statement "To Hell With Notre Dame!".

    1. Hey, that's a good one.

    2. Come on people, there's only one "s" in WEIS.

      He's been at ND for four years, let's learn how to spell.

    3. Im a notoriously bad speller.

  18. Funny stuff, mostly because they're true. You get my POTD.

    1. Thank you J. Michael. I've wondered what your picture is since the first time I saw it. It is so familiar yet I can't say I've ever seen it before.

  19. One of the funniest quotes that I remember was several years ago, a building beside Jordan Hare Stadium caught fire and burned during a home game. The next week Auburn was hosting Florida. During a pregame interview, Spurrier commented that it was a shame that the library burned down and Auburn had lost so many books in the fire. He continued that half the books weren't even colored in yet. I am an Auburn grad, but that was a classic quote.

    1. That one was great, you could use it for any school. Thanks for adding that one.

  20. Classics:

    Luck follows speed.
    Darrel Royal, Texas

    He can beat your'n with his'n and his'n with your'n.
    Bum Phillips, talking about Don Shula

    1. Luck follows speed? I made that one up years ago myself concerning basketball. I'm gonna sue Royal.

  21. "Because I couldn't go for three!"
    -Hayes

    "We've always had the best damn band in the land....now we got the best damn team in the land!"
    -Tressel

    "Three things, 1. The team that hits the hardest and the longest, the team that starts the fastest and the team that's too damned smart to make mistakes"
    -Hayes

    "You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward"
    -Hayes

    1. How about the rumor that Woody refused to buy gasoline in the state of Michigan when he was traveling because he didn't want to "give that state up north 1 cent in fuel tax to recruit with" against him.

  22. I could've sworn it was Darrel Royal that said #14. http://www.answers.com/topic/darrell-royal

    The Erk Russell quote was "We don't cheat at Georgia Southern, that costs money and we don't have any."

    Good idea! Coaching quotes are always entertaining.

    1. Now Stephen, a man that had Duke Carlisle at quarterback in winning the 1963 national championship didn't have any problem throwing the ball.

    2. Actually, we were both wrong. It was Bob Neyland.

  23. I like 3 and 5 because they are serious ones.

    I though 10 was the funniest.

    1. #3 is one I think about myself. I also think Royal was on to something with #4, that's the essence of the upset.

      Thanks for the comment.

  24. I'm still laughing. Thanks!

    South Carolina's Lou Holtz at a mid-week press conference before the '03 game against eventual national champion LSU. Went something close to this:

    "They're
    #1 in Run Defense
    #2 in Pass Defense
    #1 in Total Defense
    #1 in Scoring Defense
    #3 in Kick Coverage . . . "We're gonna hit'em where they're weakest."

    1. We could do an entire article on Lou Holtz. How about when he took the job at Arkansas in '77 and they asked him if that was the end of the world? He replied "no, but you can see it from there".

  25. There is a general consensus that Woody Hayes was not the first person to say that quote. That honor is now bestowed on General Neyland of Tennessee.

    1. Like I said above, if the General said it first it was more likely "I've heard of this thing called a pass..."
      The general was one person who made Woody look like June Jones.

  26. Also, some of my favorite Darrell Royal quotes:

    "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity."
    "We're gonna dance with who brung us." - about what player he would use in the Cotton Bowl.

    1. Coach Royal probably should have changed his Cotton Bowl philosophy, he lost half of the 10 Cotton Bowls he was in.

      If you're doing some investigative work on Royal's Longhorns you should check out "Meat On The Hoof" by Gary Shaw a former Longhorn player. The late authur details various negative aspects in the Austin program that caused Bud Wilkinson's old player some problems with the alumni base near the end of his career.

    2. Yup, the book will come up in my article.

      He said "We're gonna dance with who brung us" after the big shootout in 1969. And they went on to win, scoring that winning touchdown with Billy Dale, who hadn't scored all season. So I guess he didn't dance with who brung him after all.

  27. How Mike Leach isnt on here I am not sure.

  28. I thought I'd wait until Leach wins the National Championship this year and then do an entire article on this great genius. Like Dizzy Dean said in the gashouse gang days, "It ain't braggin' if you can do it".

  29. This list should be peppered with Lou Holtzisms.

    1. Lou's been mentioned. We wish ol' Lou good health in retirement.

  30. "Kickers are like horse manure. They're all over the place." - John McKay

    rodwood

    1. That is a great one.

  31. Tommy Bowden's press conference when hired at Clemson was asked how he felt about having to play Florida State every year. His response was (approx)..."That's no problem, I've got an inside source...I know a woman who sleeps with the head coach."

    Bob

    1. Good one. And it must be true as he's been taking it to his Dad lately.

  32. Anything ever worn by the University of Oregon could be #1, along with these by Syracuse: http://www.armchairgm.com/Image:Syracuse.jpg.

    Honorable mention: Oregon State - http://images.dawgsports.com/images/admin/2007_new_Oregon_State_uniforms.jpg

    1. Hey Brian, I can see you're a man of good taste. Glad to have your comment. Thanks !

  33. Sorry that was on the wrong post. It was intended for the ugliest football uniforms.

    While I'm at it though, here's a quote I like from Lou Holtz:
    "Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."

  34. i think #9 And #15 were the funniest things ive read for awhile Thanks

    1. Thanks, that #9 is one of my favorites also.

      Appreciate the comment.

  35. I have heard a quote from the Seveties that I would love confirmed. It was to have been said by a coach for an Alabama team after winning 4 to 0; "We knew the game was in the bag after the first safty, but took the second one to pad our lead."

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