Satire

College Football: 15 Great Coaching Quotes

BabyTateSenior Writer IJuly 16, 2008

15) Erk Russell, Ga Southern—"We don't cheat, that costs money."

14) Woody Hayes, Ohio State—"Three things can happen when you pass the ball, and two of them are bad."

13) Frank Howard, Clemson—"Virginia? That's the white meat of our schedule."

12) Bowden Wyatt, Tennessee—"Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor."

11) Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State—"Football is not a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport."

10) John McKay, Sou Cal—"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."

9) Frank Howard, Clemson—"I retired for health reasons. The alumni got sick of me."

8) Hayden Fry, SMU—"I don't give a hoot about the Rice Owls."

7) Spike Dykes, Texas Tech—"They whipped us like a tied-up goat."

6) Knute Rockne, Notre Dame—"I've found prayers work best when you have large players."

5) Shug Jordan, Auburn—"Remember boys, Goliath was favored also."

4) Darrell Royal, Texas—"Trends are bunk. Angry people win football games."

3) Paul Dietzel, LSU—"You learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life."

2) Bob Devaney, Nebraska—"I don't want to win enough to be placed on NCAA probation, I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."

1) Frank Howard, Clemson—"I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead."

Give Lou Holtz honorable mention for his comment while coaching at Arkansas: "Motivation is simple. Eliminate players who aren't motivated." 

Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Download
Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. BleacherReport.com is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices