If the Bruins' season was a horror movie, it may be entitled, “Zombie Bruins: The Black and Gold Undead!"
This hockey team would not die.
Matt Cooke, as vile as the Freddy Krueger himself, nearly decapitates Marc Savard and puts him in a concussed state of darkness for the rest of the season.
The NHL Axis of Evil looks the other way and the Pittsburgh headhunter walks away unpunished.
The Battle of Black and Gold between the Bruins and Pens was supposed to be a bloodbath. Any horror fan or hockey fan would love this script of revenge and retribution.
It was straight out of Hollywood.
Unfortunately, this dud went right to DVD. The Bruins fans all but wrote off this band of underachievers.
But they were the undead.
They almost cut off Dennis Seidenberg’s hand and the rest of the depleted defensive corps steps up.
Tim Thomas, the reigning Vezina trophy winner, takes a seat on the pine because of his ghastly play.
And lurking in the shadows, with a rabid bear mask, is rookie Tuukka Rask. His play has put fear in the opposition all season. His GAA and save percentage have been tops in the NHL for most of the season.
Then you have the face of all evil, the player to be blamed for everything from earthquakes to plagues to numerous defensive breakdowns, Dennis Wideman.
He would surely be the first character killed off in a horror movie. He would be the clueless camper that doesn’t use an ounce of common sense and goes off into the woods alone at night.
*Pipe in Friday the 13th music*
*Swing of a machete*
Then he finds his head staring back at him.
To say his season has been hockey horrific would be an understatement. Wideman had a stellar 2008-2009 campaign with a plus-32 and 50 points. Unfortunately, his 2009-2010 has been just as scary with a minus-15 and 28 points this season.
But he was not killed off by coach Claude Julien as the hordes of Bruins faithful wanted his head on a Black and Gold platter.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and Dennis Wideman has been playing better as of late.
Then there is the Haunted House of Hockey on Causeway otherwise known as the TD Garden.
The Bruins played scared at home as if the fans would grab pitchforks and attack them on the ice. A team that was 29-6-6 at home last season could only muster an 18-17-6 record in 2010.
However, their home demons were exorcized on the road. The Bruins play on the road was confident and relaxed, as they posted a 20-13-7 winning record away from the TD House of Horror.
Still no silver bullets or stakes to the heart would kill off the Black and Gold.
Even a 10-game losing streak, could not take the air from their lungs. Their breathing was weakened, but they clawed and scratched their way out of the no-postseason crypt.
The Bruins are the lowest scoring team in the NHL, but even that did not put a nail in their playoff coffin.
Boston was a shell of the team that had the best record in the Eastern Conference last season. Injuries, sub-par performances, front office failures, shoddy coaching at times, and horrible home play could have done in the Bruins.
However, even in the worst of times, teams rally.
Leaders such as Patrice Bergeron, Tuukka Rask, and Mark Recchi brought Boston back from the abyss. The Bruins were down to their last gasp numerous times this season, but remember in most horror movies, the heroes usually save the day.
And they did.
After 81 games of heart attacks and flat lines, the Bruins are alive and kicking for the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Like a Black and Gold hockey zombie back from the grave, they could not be put to rest.
Be very afraid.
*Vincent Price “Thriller” Laugh*
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