The Boston Man Tears Sports Countdown 10-6 (humor)

Joe GillCorrespondent IIApril 6, 2010

Man Tears \man teers\

- noun

1. The effect on human males during times of ultimate jubilation or extreme devastation. Usually associated with Boston Sports teams (i.e. Bruins, Celtics, Patriots, and Red Sox).

Now that we got the dictionary definition of Man Tears out of the way. Let me share with you my personal Top 10 Man Tears Moments in Boston Sports.

Sit back and shed some Man Tears with me. Remember, guys don’t cry or weep, but Man Tears escape our eyes when witnessing sports ecstasy and/or travesty.


#10-Boston Bruins Lose To Carolina In Playoffs (2009)

The Bruins always find ways to break our Black and Gold hearts. After ousting Montreal in four straight games for their first playoff series win in ten years, Boston trails the upstart Canes three games to one.

Boston shut out Carolina in Game Five 4-0 then won Game Six in Raleigh to force a decisive Game Seven. The game would go to OT before Carolina’s cheap shot artist, Scott Walker pushed the winning goal past Tim Thomas.

My Man Tears couldn’t flow from my eyes because they were frozen in disbelief and horror. Did the Bruins just lose to the Whalers, I mean Hurricanes?!

Wait until next year…..again.


#9-Ray Bourque Wins The Stanley Cup (2001)

Former Bruins’ captain Raymond Bourque finally hoisted Lord Stanley’s Cup as a member of the Colorado Avalanche.

He was traded to Colorado during the 2000 season after 22 years with the Bruins.  Colorado lost in the Conference Finals in 2000, so Bourque decided to come back for one more year. He came close with Boston during the Finals in ’88 and ’90, but they fell short to juggernaut Edmonton Oilers both years.

Bourque not only had fans in Colorado rooting for him, but every fan of the Black and Gold as well. We were all living vicariously through him. This may be our only chance to see any Bruin, current or former, reach hockey’s championship summit.

When Colorado defeated the Devils in seven games and Joe Sakic gave the cup to Ray, Black and Gold tears of men, women, and children flowed through New England.

I almost drowned in my man tears as my friends and I drank beer out of a miniature Stanley Cup celebrating Bourque’s Championship. Yes, I was one of those sad Bruins fans that went to his rally to pretend that he won it with the Bruins.


#8-Yaz Retires (1983)

One of my first man tears memories was when I was a young boy. I was die hard Sox fan at the age of 10. My summer days consisted of going in the pool then watching the Red Sox on my little black and white TV in our screen house.

I just gravitated to Yaz. It may be because he wore #8, which became my favorite number, or that he was the elder statesman of the Sox. Captain Carl was indeed the captain of the Sox, and a fatherly figure for all young Red Sox fans.

I still remember shedding my first Man Tears when he retired in 1983. I still recall the rocking chair he was given as a gift and his final farewell lap around Fenway Park.

That day I became a card carrying member of Man Tears Nation.


#7-Glen Wesley Misses Open Net In Game One Of Cup Finals (1990)

These were the first Man Tears I shed in pure anger. Damn you Glen Wesley.

Glen Wesley became the Bill Buckner of the Bruins. If he made one play, perhaps history would have been made.

The teams would go into the OT tied at two.

In the first overtime, Oilers goalie Bill Ranford was tangled up in front of the net. Glen Wesley had a wide open net and attempted a back hand that went high.

The Bruins would end up losing the game in the third OT on a goal by well-rested forward Petr Klima. They would also go on to lose the series to the Oilers as well, 4-1.

I never forgave Wesley to this day. If he just took to the forehand, perhaps the Bruins would have broke their 18 year drought.

Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda Wesley!

How dare you win a Cup with the former Whale!?

I still have a lifetime of angry Man Tears for you!



#6-Team USA Falls Short In Their Quest For Gold (2010)

The only thing the Winter Olympics means to me is Ice Hockey. Nothing beats cheering on your country in an international competition against the world’s best.

Team USA wasn’t picked to medal. They didn’t have “superstars” like the Russian and Canadian teams. However, sometimes passion takes you further than talent.

Fueled by their first victory over Canada in 50 years, Team USA had a rematch with the loaded Canadian team in the Gold Medal game. Twitter was timing out with all of the people chatting up a storm during the biggest hockey game since the Miracle on Ice in 1980.

The game certainly lived up to its billing. Team Canada was clinging on to a 2-1 lead with 24.4 seconds left. Zach Parise tied up the game and you could hear the whole country go crazy in unison. I must have jumped four feet off my couch and almost snapped my vocal chords screaming in celebration.

The game went to overtime, and my stomach felt like I swallowed a set of Ginsu knives. Everyone on Twitter was cheering on Team USA to pull off the comeback.

Not on this day.

Sidney Crosby pushed a shot by Tournament MVP Ryan Miller and it was over before we could really savor Parise’s goal. Miller crumbled into a ball and looked deflated as the realization of just falling short set in.

I felt numb.

The Man Tears nation had new members joining it on this day. Every member of Team USA seemed to be welling up as the medals were distributed.

So close.

So close.


Stay tuned as the Man Tears Moments in Boston Sports Countdown continues.