100) NOT Bud Selig
99) The actual season ticket holder who sells you an extra ticket for face value in the parking lot
98-86) The fat guys like the Florida Manatees who dance for our amusement at sporting events these days
85-73) The beautiful women who replace them and purge those horrible visions from our eyes
72) That gamble-aholic who put a $100 on the Tampa Bay Rays to win the World Series and will collect 16 grand if they do
71) Orange Cone Man guiding you into your parking space
70) David Stern's cosmetologist
69) The black guy who goes to a small Midwestern town and claims to be a famous basketball player
68-53) The 15 white people who don't let him pay for a thing for three days until they figure out he isn't Kobe Bryant
52) The "in-the-hole" guy at the Masters or Pebble Beach
51) Bll Parcells' scary face
50) John Basedow's abs
49-41) Detroit Lions fans
40) Joey Buttafuoco
39-29) Ten of the hottest women's volleyball players posing nude
28) The gay man taking their pictures
27) Pete Rozelle's corpse
26-18) Steroid-free baseball players circa 1990-2005
17) That hockey guy missing those teeth—you know who I mean!
16) The no-nonsense soccer ref
15) The shameless-acting "injured soccer" player
14) During my freshman year of high school, that old guy who handed out the towels after gym class with this big smile....
13) Aaron Rodgers
12-8) The first relay track team
7) Jason Giambi's moustache
6) Joe Torre's eye-bags
5) Gen. Pervez Musharraf, titular head of Pakistan
4) Madonna's doorman
3) Roger Clemens (may be revised downwards)
2) Danica Patrick
1) YOU! The Bleacher Report reader!!!! Huh? Right? HUH??? Can I get an Amen?
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