My Strange and Eclectic Top 100

Jeff Tydeman is very special to us and gets around on his own just fine...his offbeat take on life is available every day for your revulsion at www.thebittertimes.com...otherwise, look for his byline here at Bleacher Report!

by jeff tydeman (Analyst)

14

749 reads

Humor

July 12, 2008

Humor, NFL, MLB, AL East, NFC North, Tampa Bay Rays, Detroit Lions, Los Angeles Sports, Satire, Open Mic

100) NOT Bud Selig

99) The actual season ticket holder who sells you an extra ticket for face value in the parking lot

98-86) The fat guys like the Florida Manatees who dance for our amusement at sporting events these days

85-73) The beautiful women who replace them and purge those horrible visions from our eyes

72) That gamble-aholic who put a $100 on the Tampa Bay Rays to win the World Series and will collect 16 grand if they do

71) Orange Cone Man guiding you into your parking space

70) David Stern's cosmetologist

69) The black guy who goes to a small Midwestern town and claims to be a famous basketball player

68-53) The 15 white people who don't let him pay for a thing for three days until they figure out he isn't Kobe Bryant

52) The "in-the-hole" guy at the Masters or Pebble Beach

51) Bll Parcells' scary face

50) John Basedow's abs

49-41) Detroit Lions fans

40) Joey Buttafuoco

39-29) Ten of the hottest women's volleyball players posing nude

28) The gay man taking their pictures

27) Pete Rozelle's corpse

26-18) Steroid-free baseball players circa 1990-2005

17) That hockey guy missing those teeth—you know who I mean!

16) The no-nonsense soccer ref

15) The shameless-acting "injured soccer" player

14) During my freshman year of high school, that old guy who handed out the towels after gym class with this big smile....

13) Aaron Rodgers

12-8) The first relay track team

7) Jason Giambi's moustache

6) Joe Torre's eye-bags

5) Gen. Pervez Musharraf, titular head of Pakistan

4) Madonna's doorman

3) Roger Clemens (may be revised downwards)

2) Danica Patrick

1) YOU! The Bleacher Report reader!!!! Huh? Right? HUH??? Can I get an Amen?

Humor

749 views

Share:

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

comments (13) write a comment »

  1. reply to comment by Patrick S J
    3 months ago

    Wow. A lot of thought and creativity went into this. 49 -41 I laughed out loud. That toothless hockey guy is Eddy Johnstone, or anyone prior to the 1990s...they didnt care, and didnt have veneers. Dancing fat guys and hot women who purge them. The black wannabe basketball star and his fans. All very funny stuff. Cheered me up.

    1. by jeff
      from 3 months ago

      Glad you liked it! Thanks for the comment...that cheered ME up...a lot of times you think no one's paying attention...

  2. reply to comment by Alan
    3 months ago

    AMEN!

  3. reply to comment by Jameson
    3 months ago

    This will be getting my next pick of the day.

    1. by jeff
      from 3 months ago

      Me like da way you t'ink mon!

  4. reply to comment by Paul
    3 months ago

    Interesting list except that your counting is off.

    68-53) The 15 white people who don't let him pay for a thing for three days until they figure out he isn't Kobe Bryant

    68-53 is actually 16 numbers, not 15.

    39-29) Ten of the hottest women's volleyball players posing nude

    39-29 is actually 11 numbers, not ten.

    1. by jeff
      from 3 months ago

      I was an English major Paul, not a math major...hope you're not the guy doing my next job performance review ;-)

    2. by Paul
      from 3 months ago

      it doesn't take a math major to count.

  5. reply to comment by Under
    3 months ago

    I don't know math, but I do know funny. Great article. :)

    1. by jeff
      from 3 months ago

      That's what I'm talking 'bout! Actually, I gave everyone two EXTRA picks...or is it two less...Paul?

  6. reply to comment by Andrew
    2 months ago

    Funny stuff!

    1. by jeff
      from 2 months ago

      Thanks....didn't see your comment there...would have said something earlier...

  7. reply to comment by bob
    2 months ago

    Excellent!

write a new comment


Edit this Article Article History

About the Author jeff tydeman (analyst)

  • 24 articles written
  • 70 comments posted
  • 6 fans

FREE SPORTS TEXT ALERTS

  • Get team scores and news sent to your cell phone during and after each game.
  • We do not charge for these services, but standard messaging rates or other charges apply.
  • Cancel anytime by replying STOP to any message.

Step 1: Choose a team

League:

Step 2: Enter your phone number

( ) -
Standard Messaging Rates or other charges apply. To Opt-out text STOP to 4INFO (44636). For more information text HELP to 4INFO (44636). Contact your carrier for more details.

Want to write for Bleacher Report

We are a community of fans who write about sports. And we're growing.

Learn More and Sign Up »