The Five Dumbest Things in Basketball Right Now

Marcus ShockleyCorrespondent IMarch 31, 2010

ARLINGTON, TX - FEBRUARY 14:  Dwayne Wade #3 of the Eastern Conference (R) is awarded the MVP trophy by NBA Commissioner David Stern after the NBA All-Star Game, part of 2010 NBA All-Star Weekend at Cowboys Stadium on February 14, 2010 in Arlington, Texas. The Eastern Conference defeated the Western Conference 141-139 in regulation.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
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There are a lot of dumb things said every day in the world of sports—and basketball is no exception.

Here's a list of the five currently stupid things going on with the orange pumpkin:

5. NCAA Tournament Expansion

Want to turn the NCAA tournament into the ratings graveyard that the NBA is? Expand the tournament. I think this is the first NCAA idea that actually made me want to buy a torch and pitchfork.


4. The NBA Corner Three

The NBA three-point line is shorter on the sides than at the top—and it's not by a couple of inches: It's a full foot and nine inches closer. Why not just run the line to the out-of-bounds line and get rid of the corner three? NBA guys can shoot the lights out and are rarely defended when they shoot, so why allow this disparity? Why not just make one goal eight feet high—if we are just picking random measurements?

3. The Carry

Once, way back in "the day," players who could handle the ball actually had to be able to dribble with one hand on top of the ball—a la Bob Causy. Now, I'm not suggesting that we go back to that stiff style of ball handling, but now players can pick up the ball, cradle it, take a little stroll, and put it back down.

When you consider that even the deftest behind-the-back dribble is technically an illegal move, you'll understand why suddenly there has been an explosion of 6'10" players who are considered ball handlers. If you've got game, you've got game—but for every Chris Paul, Raymond Felton, or Jason Kidd, there's a Chris Bosh who thinks he's a guard.

2. The Neverending Season

Whenever you ask an NBA executive or owner why the NBA season is so long, they'll mutter something about money or revenue. I wonder why these guys think that a season of half-full arenas and rosters on which players never play a full season—not even close—is making them the most amount of money. Slash the regular season, and watch the seats fill up in more arenas—because the games will matter more.

This still won't help the Nets.

1. Most Valuable Puppets

I never thought I would see a shoe commercial that made beer commercials look like literary works of art. But these agonizingly stupid commercials not only manage to insult LeBron, Kobe, and sports fans' intelligence, but they also manage to somehow even tarnish the memory of Jim Henson. I can only assume that someone's nephew needed a job and only knew how to make really horrible puppets. What, was Brian Hogg of DotBoom not available? His puppets might drop the f-bomb, but at least they are actually funny. 

I probably could easily add things to this list—like "Drafting players early and wondering why they almost never pan out"—but, well, hasn't Kwame Brown been hurt enough?