It's summer time, which means only one thing—no football, but plenty of baseball, some Olympics to keep us busy, and time to start thinking about our fantasy football lineups.
But it's also time to make your last-minute vacation plans for the summer. After careful and diligent research, Lisa Horne has found the definitive place to spend some quality time in the great outdoors, while tasting some truly eclectic food.
Mark your calendars, folks.
Have a ball!
July 30-Aug. 3 marks the 26th annual Testicle Festival in Rock Creek, Montana. The Rock Creek Lodge, just outside of Clinton, Montana, is home of the original "sac" lunch.
Some say testicles look and taste like chicken, but those veins are a dead giveaway, aren't they?
It's a fun event and everybody over the age of 21 is welcome to the Testy Festy. Bring your cameras; no one will believe you ate a Rocky Mountain Oyster.
The event even has their own shuttle—in case you get too hammered to drive—and believe me, there's a lot of drinking going on to wash down those huevos. Yes, you can get nuts here.
People actually eat this stuff, and they do it with reckless abandon. The testicles are peeled, marinated in beer, breaded four times, deep fried, and only USDA approved testicles are used.
Now here's a dumb question, but just how exactly does the USDA inspect these things? Before or after the snip? What are they looking for, and more importantly, how can they tell good balls from bad balls?





18 comments Last one added 10 months ago — Leave a Comment
Paul Peszko 11 months ago
Very funny, Lisa. Just made my day. Where did you dig this one up?
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
Paul-
I read about it a few years ago, and every year do a piece on it. It has a website, but the pix on there on XX rated, fyi.
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Michael Shibley 11 months ago
Nicely done Lisa. I didn't think there could be that many testicle and sport puns put into one column. Very Funny!
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
Thanks Michael! :)
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Jeff Little 11 months ago
Lisa,
I agree with Michael & Paul the story was nicely done and very funny. There is a restaurant called Buckhorn Exchange in Denver, Colorado that specializes in Rocky Mountain Oysters. It is said to be Denver's original steakhouse and oldest restaurant but I wouldn't fall for others from that area that I know suggesting that I try them. When friends took my there, I wasn't buying it but I did have a serious 24-oz Porterhouse steak.
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
I'm with you...I like to experiment with food, but I stop at anything that dangles. A 24 oz steak? OMG...I can't eat more than 6oz (and that's if I'm truly starving) ...and I love steak!
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Jeff Little 11 months ago
Lisa,
I'll come clean in regards to the steak. Went to Denver to visit a lifelong friend and catch a Raiders game, arrived on a wednesday and it took two days to crush it.
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Adam Lindemer 11 months ago
Absolutely hilarious, and well done Lisa!
They also serve 'Fowl/Foul Balls' at Coors Field; turkey testicles, along with the 'oysters'. In one of my classes back at college I wrote an article about all the weird food served around the baseball world. When talking about Coors, I used, "Usually that many balls gets a guy a free pass to first base and not a full stomach." Way too many play on words to choose from.
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
That Adam...it was an easy topic to use double entendres.
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Justin Goar 11 months ago
a very ballsy article, good job!!!
but i don't think i would make this trip. i'm a little squeamish in the testicle slicing, dicing,m and frying dept.
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
ballsy? I like that...thanks Justin...that was a funny comment. :)
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Alan Bass 11 months ago
aw man this is disgusting, and absolutely hilarious
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
It's such a fine balance...they took out the pix because they can't support pix in content, so that should help make it less disgusting! Thanks!
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Jimbo 11 months ago
I was really glad to discover that I am not the only one who hosts a yearly testy-festy, except at my house it's called "Jim's Birthday". I did take issue with the following sentence, though:
"The testicles are peeled, marinated in beer, breaded four times then deep fried, and only USDA approved testicles are used."
I believe that part was plagiarized from the vasectomy article I did last week.
Anyway, very funny (and nauseating) article. Great job, Lisa!
And Go Nads!
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
Jim's birthday?
I think you need to do some 'splainin'.
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John F 11 months ago
I used to live in Montana and went to the Testicle Festival one summer. It was one of the most kick-ass parties I have ever been to. Crazy naked biker ladies, great butt-rock cover bands, cheap drinks and cheaper chicks. I have had "rocky-mountain oysters" before, but I don't think I had them that weekend. The only problem with the festival is that everyone of your Montana sterotypes is proven correct that weekend.
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Lisa Horne 11 months ago
Ha! I knew someone had been to this. It gets crazy there....haven't been, not sure I want to. But if I were a single guy...it might be fun going with a bunch of pals. :) Montana men are stereo-typed?
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L.J. Burgess 10 months ago
Priceless.
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