College Football's Most Puzzling Fight Songs

They inspire us. They irritate the opposing team with non-stop beating drums and endless chants of mind-numbing lyrics. They induce cheers, rally hats, and hope when our teams need some serious pom-pom shaking.

They are our school's fight songs and we hold them dear to our hearts. Michigan, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Georgia Tech and Tennessee all have some great fight songs that are familar to us all.

There are some, however, that puzzle the collective minds of the college football nation.

Just what were the lyricists thinking when they penned some of these fight songs? Remember, this is about the great music or history behind these songs, it's about the lyrics.

A tongue-in-cheek look at some lyrics to some college fight songs.

Alabama Crimson Tide

Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you;
Hit your stride!
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave!
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's a shame!
For 'Bama's pluck and grit
Have writ her name in crimson flame!
Fight on, fight on, fight on, men!
Remember the Rose Bowl we'll win then!
Go, roll to victory,

Hit your stride,

You're Dixie's football pride, Crimson Tide!

Hmmm...mentioning other teams is a no-no, for one, and when was the last time Alabama cared about the Rose Bowl? Isn't the Sugar Bowl their destination?

Appalachian State

Hi-Hi-y-ike-us
Nobody like us,
We are the mountaineers, mountaineers, mountaineers,
Always a-winning,
Always a-grinning,
Always a-feeling fine
You bet, hey!

Wanna bet a few college fraternity boys penned this lil' ditty over a keg?

Ball State

Fight team fight for Ball State
We must win this game
Onward now you Cardinals
Bring glory to your name...RAH, RAH, RAH!
Here's to both our colors
Cardinal and White
Praying for a victory
So Fight, Fight, Fight.

We must win this game? Praying for a victory? Is this inspirational, or reeking of desperation?

Bowling Green (played after a score)

Forward Falcons!
Forward Falcons!
Fight for victory,
Show our spirit,
Make them fear it,
Fight for ol' B-G.
Forward Falcons!
Forward Falcons!
Make the contest keen,
Hold up the fame
Of our mighty name
And win for Bowling Green!

Why do we get the feeling that the word 'keen" was the only word they could come up with to rhyme with "green?"

Buffalo Bulls

Fight, fight for Buffalo
Be proud to fight for your dear Blue and White.
So Hit 'em high, Hit 'em low, Throw 'em high, Throw 'em low
Fight for your dear old Bulls. (Go! Bulls! Go!)
Cheer, cheer for Buffalo
Our spirit will be with you 'til the end
So play the game as best you can
For the glory of our dear Buffalo.

Play the game as best you can? It sounds like a concession speech. And the "hit 'em high, hit 'em low" is so, well, middle school, isn't it?

Clemson

Long ago way down in the jungle
Someone got an inspiration for a tune
And that jingle came from the jungle
Became famous mighty soon
Thrills and chills it sends through you
Hot so hot it burns you too
Though it's just the growl of the Tiger
It was written in a syncopated way
More and more they yell for the Tiger
Everywhere you go today, they're shoutin':
Where's that Tiger?
Where's that Tiger?
Where's that Tiger?
Where's that Tiger?
Hold that Tiger!
Hold that Tiger!
Hold that Tiger!
C-L-E-M-S-O...N!

Is this a fight song or an intro to "Jungle book 3"? And is the word "syncopated" appropriate in a fight song?

Cornell (FCS)

Give my regards to Davy,
Remember me to Tee Fee Crane.
Tell all the pikers on the hill
That I'll be back again.
Tell them just how I busted
Lapping up the high highball.
We'll all have drinks at Theodore Zinck's
When I get back next fall!

Are you sure this is a fight song? I need a drink. Or two.

Davidson (FCS)

R-E-D B-L-A-C-K!,
Wildcats!!
D-A-V-I-D-S-O-N,
Davidson!
Red and black,
Davidson the wildcats,
We're red and black,
Davidson the wildcats!!
A GO, GO, GO, GO!
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
A WIN, WIN, WIN WIN....
WILDCATS!!

Disney's "High School Musical" lives on.

East Carolina

Cheer for East Car'lina,
Cheer for old E.C.,
We know we're the finest,
Onward to victory!
GO PIRATES!

Cheer for East Car'lina,
Cheer on for old E.C.,
Loyal and Bold,
We're the purple and gold,
We are the Pirates of E.C.U.!

Originality of this song gets minus 50 points.

Illinois

We're loyal to you Illinois,
We're "Orange and Blue," Illinois,
We'll back you so stand
'Gainst the best in the land,
For we know you have sand, Illinois,
Rah! Rah!
So crack out that ball Illinois,
We're backing you all Illinois;
Our team is our fame protector,
On! boys, for we expect a vict'ry from you Illinois!

Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!
Go Illini go!
Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!
Go Illini go!
Illinois! Illinois! Illinois!

Fling out that dear old flag of Orange and Blue,
Lead on your sons and daughters, fighting for you;
Like men of old, on giants placing reliance, shouting defiance
Oskee wow-wow!
Amid the broad green plains that nourish our land,
For honest Labor and for Learning we stand,
And unto thee we pledge our heart and hand,
Dear Alma Mater Illinois.

"Oskee Wow Wow"

Old Princeton yells her Tiger,
Wisconsin her Varsity,
And they give the same old RAH! RAH! RAH!
For each university,
But the yell that always thrills me,
And fills my heart with joy,
Is the good old Oskee-wow-wow
That they yell at Illinois.

Chorus:
Oskee-wow-wow Illinois!
Our eyes are all on you.
Oskee-wow-wow Illinois!
Wave your Orange and your Blue, RAH! RAH!
As the team trots out before you,
Every man stand up and yell,
Back the team to gain a victory,
Oskee-wow-wow Illinois! HEY!

Teddy Roosevelt may be famous,
And his name you often hear,
But it's heroes on the football field
Each college man holds dear.
We think with pride of Roberts,
Artie Hall and Heavy, too.
Oskee-wow-wow for the wearers
Of the Orange and the Blue!

(Repeat Chorus)

Repeat chorus? How the heck does anyone remember that song after a few beers?

Nebraska (played after PAT)

There is no place like Nebraska
Dear old Nebraska U
Where the girls are the fairest
The boys are the squarest
Of any old place that I knew
There is no place like Nebraska
Where they're all true blue
We'll all stick together in all kinds of weather
For dear old Nebraska U.

The boys are the squarest is something to brag about? I guess it's better than the boys being the fairest.

New Mexico State

Aggies, Oh Aggies
The hills send back the cry
We're here to do or die
Aggies, Oh Aggies
We'll win this game or know the reason why
And when we win this game
We'll buy a keg of booze
And we'll drink to the Aggies
'Til we wobble in our shoes
A-G-G-I-E-S
Aggies, Aggies, go Aggies
Aggies, Oh Aggies
The hills send back the cry
We're here to do or die
Aggies, Oh Aggies
We'll win this game or know the reason why!

OK... I cry "Uncle." What's "the reason why?"

Rutgers (alternate fight song)

Oh, here's to the college
That stands on the hill.
Vive La Rutgers Sons!
She stood there for ages;
She's standing there still.
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!

(Chorus)
Oh Vive la, vive la, vive l'amour,
Vive la, vive la, vive l'amour,
Vive l'amour, vive l'amour,
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!

Here's to the ivy
That clings to her walls
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!
And to the good fellowship
Found in her halls
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!

(Repeat Chorus)

A friend on the left,
And a friend on the right,
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!
A jolly good fellowship;
Be merry tonight!
Vive La Rutgers' Sons!

(Repeat Chorus)
HEY!

Pass the Brie. The song is in French and then it ends with "Hey!" I don't get it.

UCLA

We are Sons of Westwood
And we hail to Blue and Gold
True to thee our hearts will be
Our love will not grow old,
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Bruins roam the hills of Westwood
By the blue Pacific shores
And if we chance to see
A man from USC
Every Bruin starts to roar.
U...C...L...A...
UCLA, fight, fight, fight!
(repeat verse)

The fact that they stole the song from Cal makes this an automatic candidate for bad lyrics.

Utah

I am a Utah Man, sir, and I live across the green,
Our gang it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.
Our coeds are the fairest and each one's a shining star,
Our yell, you'll hear it ringing through the mountains near and far!
Who am I, sir,
A Utah Man am I!
A Utah Man, sir,
Will be 'til I die.
Ki-yi!
We're up to snuff, we never bluff, we're game for any fuss.
No other gang of college men dare meet us in a muss.
So fill your lungs and sing it out and shout it to the sky,
We'll fight for dear old crimson for a Utah Man am I!
Ki-yi!

Our gang it is the jolliest? Yep, that's gotta be something that strikes fear in any opponent's heart. Carry on, fellas.

Wyoming

He always sings raggy music to his cattle as he swings
Back and forward in his saddle on a horse (pretty good horse!)
He's a syncopated gaiter
And you out to hear the meter to the roar of his repeater
How they run (yes run!)
When they hear him come, because the western folks all know,
He's a high fallutin', rootin' tootin'
Son of a gun from old Wyoming
Ragtime Cowboy, (talk about your cowboy), Ragtime Cowboy Joe.

Didn't Lucille Ball do a skit with two little boys to this song on "I Love Lucy"? And there's that word "syncopated" again. Must have been a hot word back in the days.

No disrespect to any schools on this list. They are all fine institutions.