The following messages were left on Green Bay Packers' GM Ted Thomson’s answering machine at his home.
Message No. 1
Hey Ted, Brett Favre here! How's your summer going? Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my future since I announced my retirement...I don’t feel right. I love this game!
And I can’t see myself leaving the game right now. I still have that itch. You know that itch when you play a few games without washing your jock strap? That kind of itch, except not on the genitals....
So anyways, I want to come back to the team. I haven’t talked to Mike yet, but I’m sure he’ll have no problem! We were so close last year, I know we can get to the Super Bowl once again.
Anyways, get back to me.
Message No. 2
Hello, Brett Favre here again. Don’t know if you got my last message. I’m so pumped about coming back. Deep down inside, I knew retiring was not the right thing to do for me. So get back to me as soon as possible
Message No. 3
Ted, it’s me again, Brett Favre. You must be busy, enjoying your summer. Have you talked to Mike yet? He must be so excited! And the rest of the crew...I can’t wait.
Call me. You know my number.
Message No. 4
It’s Brett! You must be busy working out the kinks for my return...that must be it. Keep me posted.
Message No. 10
Hey Ted, you should really switch phone companies. I don’t think you’re getting any of my incoming calls. Even your cell phone won’t pick up. I’m telling you, switch to T-Mobile! They are awesome, and did you see their latest commercial? Haha, see, I wasn’t saying goodbye!
Anyways, I’m here. Call me.
Message No. 18
Hey, Ted...ummmm, tag you’re it!
Message No. 20
Message No. 25
Alright...what’s up Ted? You’re not answering my calls, you’re not replying to my e-mails or texts. I even POKED you on Facebook...and nothing! I guess I could send you a message via flying football telegram, but I don’t want to break any of your windows and cause damage.
Please call me.
Message No. 26
Ummm Ted, I’ll be sending you some cash to pay for that broken window. The wind got to the football! Anyways, call me to make arrangements.
Message No. 34
Ted, you’re starting to piss me off now. All I want to do is return to my team. If you don’t want me, then screw you!
Message No. 35
(whimpering) Listen...I’m sorry about that. It’s just...I miss this game. I love this game...This is very emotional times for me! I need this...please...call me.
Message No. 46
(singing Rihanna’s "Take A Bow")
Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught. But you put on quite a show. You really had me going. But now it’s time to go. Curtain’s finally closing. That was quite a show. Very entertaining. But it’s over now (But it’s over now) Go on and take a bow
Message No. 50
Ted, this is the last message I can put on this machine, but don’t worry! I’m sending you a brand new answering machine so you can get all my messages when you get back.