Pittsburgh Steelers: America's Team For Those Who Work for a Living

David Jensen by Scribe Written on November 09, 2007
Rooney

IconSteelers fans are a tight-knit family.

The Steelers are America's team for those who have to live with a toothache because they don't have health insurance—

Who have their banks account frozen by the IRS—

Who have to work three jobs so that big corporate execs can work from their cell phones on some tropical island—

For those Americans who feel they no longer have a dream to fight for—

You got it, the Steelers are your team.

If you would rather have a beer with a guy who can't pay his bills than a latte with your therapist at the gym—

You got it—the Steelers are your team!

The road to the Super Bowl goes through the 'Burgh this year.

Forgive me for feeling a bit patriotic after watching my team disembowel the Ravens this past Monday—with Franco Harris, Terry Bradshaw, and Co. on the sideline.

This past Monday was like heaven for the Steeler faithful: watching Hines Ward flatten Ed Reed, seeing the boys smile while they were dishing out concussions.

Did the Steelers sign a big free agent like Randy Moss?

No!

They just said, "We have to start hitting people in the face. We gotta hurt people! We gotta make opposing players feel like dogs that've just taken a beating. They have to run away whimpering and scared to death.

"They have to fear us!"

Does the Steelers' quarterback hobnob with supermodels?

Hell no!

He rides his motorcycle without a helmet while chasing down a bar waitress.

Do they have a Hall of Fame coach?

No!

He's just some unknown hard-ass who says...

"Go hit 'em in the face!"

Steelers fans are Democrats. They listen to Bruce Springsteen. They'll give you all the money in their wallets if you're down on your luck...and let you crash on their couch.

America'a got plenty of problems. What the country needs is more Steelers fans.

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written on November 09, 2007 Humor

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