New Details on Hogan, Flair Match on March 8 (Humour)

JVCXVCorrespondent IMarch 4, 2010

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - NOVEMBER 21:  Hulk Hogan taunts his opponent Ric Flair during Hulk Hogan's Hulkamania Tour at Rod Laver Arena on November 21, 2009 in Melbourne, Australia.  (Photo by Mark Dadswell/Getty Images)
Mark Dadswell/Getty Images

As was announced last week, TNA's return to Monday nights will feature the ring returns of both Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. 

Hogan will be teaming with Abyss to face Ric Flair and Ric Flair 2.0,...uh, I mean AJ Styles.

So far, it was unknown what, if any, stipulation would be added to this match, until now. 

A man, who is going by the name of The Strap Master, has confirmed from his slow-rolling coffin, that this match on March 8 will be a Tag Team Apple Pie Indian Strap Match.

Some of you may remember that in 2000, at WCW Uncensored, Flair and Hogan had a very similar type of match.  It is believed the official name of that match was the Yavapai Indian Strap Match, supposedly named after a Native American tribe. 

However, in this video seen HERE , there was confusion as to this name, due to Hogan's inability to pronounce the word "Yavapai." 

Some have chalked this confusion up to some complications Hogan may have had with the medications he was taking for an arm injury that probably affected his cognitive skills.

Some felt Hogan was saying "Yappai" which, is a word this reporter has yet to find a definition for. 

Others, felt Hogan was referencing a favourite treat in the bakery section at your local grocery store.

This confusion is the reason TNA officials have been reluctant as to the announcing of the official name for the upcoming match. 

The Strap Master has informed me that a breakthrough in this dilemma came early this week.

TNA's legal department found out that the WWE owned the rights to both the Yavapai and Yappapi Indian Strap Matches. 

However, the WWE legal department which was believed to be headed by Shawn Stasiak at the time, missed the pie reference due to his self professed hatred of pie seen at the six minute mark of this video seen HERE .

This revelation is why The Strap Master believes that an official TNA announcement could happen very soon. 

Be that as it may, The Strap Master has also pointed out that before all the competitors can be bonded together with the leather, there are still some details TNA has yet to work out.

One detail yet to be worked out, is how they will strap all of the competitors together. 

The Strap Master is telling me that Hogan is pushing the powers at be to come up with some kind of four-sided strap due to his affinity for things having four sides. 

There is reluctance to do this, because of worries that a four-sided strap might prevent the competitors from getting the body in the proper position for the strappation.

Another issue The Strap Master is telling me could hold up the announcement, is the apple pie reference. 

Some in creative have suggested that some fans might not understand why the words "apple pie" are being used in reference to a strap match.  One unnamed member of creative suggested that they place an apple pie on a pole, but he was quickly shot down.

Instead, creative agreed on having apple pies placed at the four ring corners.

These pies would replace the traditional way to win a strap match, which was by dragging your opponent to the four corners and touching the top turn buckles in succession. 

The touching of the turn buckles would be replaced with pies to the face.

Finally, The Strap Master tells me that TNA officials seem to be ecstatic with this direction.  He also says that they believe that this will "strap back IWC and keep them off their back jack." 

I guess only time will tell.

Please note: This article was written for humorous purposes only!! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the article and the videos along with it.