Great Moments in Warren Sapp's "Oh Snap!" History

The NFL will be missing one of it's premier defensive warriors this season, as the great Warren Sapp decided to officially hang up his skipping shoes on this year. Junkyard Jake reminisces on some of Warren's classic moments in Oakland.

by Junkyard Jake (Scribe)

1

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Sports

July 07, 2008

Football, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Warren Sapp, Satire

The NFL will be missing one of its premier defensive warriors this season, as the great Warren Sapp decided to officially hang up his skipping shoes on March 4, 2008.

In a celebrated career that spanned 13 seasons, Warren Sapp redefined the defensive-tackle position, as he went on to accumulate 573 tackles, 96.5 sacks, eight Pro Bowl appearances, a 2002 Super Bowl ring, hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines, multiple restraining orders, and a first-place ribbon in last year's Oakland Raider's 10th Annual Deep-Fried Molasses Pie-Eating and Elf Throwing contest.

But it's important to remember Warren Sapp not just for his ability to shutdown running lanes and terrorize quarterbacks, Sapp was also known for his insatiable curiosity and quest for knowledge.

Like a modern-day Leonardo da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, or that guy who invented the Bug Zapper, Warren Sapp possessed an unbridled inquisitiveness. This intellectual curiosity was infectious, and on many a Sunday afternoon, Sapp would encourage his teammates to join him on his journey of discovery, revelation, and catharsis.

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Here are some of those great Warren Sapp "Oh Snap" moments. 

"Oh snap!...You mean Ben and Jerry's Peach Cobbler ice cream isn't considered a fruit under the USDA nutrition advisory program food guide pyramid?"

"Oh snap!...So Saturn’s rings are actually comprised of icy particles, meteoric dust, and shredded FBI documents from the J. Edger Hoover era?"

"Oh snap!...That coyote in those Road Runner cartoons actually did all his own stunts?"

"Oh Snap!...so Mister Roger's Neighborhood was actually a contextual metaphor for the timeless struggle between Plato's moral absolutism and the objectivist theories of Aristotle as interpreted by a single parent in post-modern urban America?"

"Oh snap!...Are you saying that Justin Timberlake is NOT gay?" 

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comments (1) write a comment »

  1. Great article, funny and insightful. Keep up the great work. I gotta be honest: I always despised Sapp because he was so good. I think he used to play for the Tampa Bay Bucs, and being a Panthers fan, there were many times I was cursing him over a sack on my team's QB.

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About the Author Junkyard Jake (scribe)

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