Former WWE/WCW wrestler Lance Storm has returned with a new rant on TNA, this time raving about one of Hulk Hogan ’s acquisitions, the former WWE star Mr. Anderson (Mr. Kennedy) .
Without further delay, let’s get into the rant, provided courtesy of 411Mania and Wrestling Observer Radio, which at first glance seems more entertaining than most Lance Storm promos...
“Last week after Kurt (Angle) was so hot at him (Anderson) for spitting on the USA and Dead Soldiers, Anderson came out with this goofy who cares flippant personality. HOW does that draw money? He treated it like a joke, and thus it became one.”
For those who didn’t know, Anderson caused Angle to bleed, and then stole the army medal that Kurt was wearing, before spitting on him and the medal.
Looking at Storm’s comments, I’m left wondering...
Was Anderson supposed to shout about how he HATES THE ARMY?
How he wants to make Angle BLEED AGAIN?
In case Lance Storm did not realize, Mr. Anderson is not Muhammad Hassan. He can’t possibly have any motive for hating troops, and if Storm knew anything about Anderson, he would be aware that Anderson is at his best when he is an overconfident heel.
“..Anderson cut another f***ing promo while Kurt stands behind him for over a minute with a chair. If Kurt gave a flying f*** about Anderson laying him out or spitting on America why didn't he hit him right away...”
Allow me to introduce Lance to one word: ANTICIPATION.
Anticipation is that feeling that fans used to experience when the Rock was waiting for his opponent to turn around for the Rock Bottom.
If we were to go by Lance’s logic, we might as well eliminate interviews, entrances and any sort of build up to match, simply because the participants HATE EACH OTHER.
How about, in every wrestling feud in which one of the guys insults America and/or beats up the other guy, we just skip all intros and talking.
Have them bash each other to pieces instead.
Because that just screams entertainment.
“This show was horrible and Anderson's character and promo work are ATROCIOUS. Yes he talks well but he buries the entire program with the way in which his talks and carries himself.
"He is my least favourite character on the show and that covers a lot of ground because this entire show SUCKS .”
I’m really confused here. First he says the show is horrible.
Then he says Anderson buries the entire program.
Isn’t that overkill?
I’m also puzzled as to how Lance Storm can possibly get through watching an entire episode of Impact. Having read this, you would think he is in a spitting fit of rage by the end of it.
(By the way, I have to say that this week’s show was not very good. Mostly down to the Band and Hogan/Abyss, though Angle/Anderson was a saving grace for me.)
Let us cap off this crazy, rage-driven rant with one last gem..
“I can't believe no one pointed out that Anderson was KILLED by one chair shot BUT Abyss was hit with 3 or 4 and was still on his feet later in the show.”
First of all, you’re talking about Abyss. There is a reason why the man is called a MONSTER.
He sits on barbed wire as if it’s a sofa.
He falls on thumbtacks like someone would fall on their bed. If Lance Storm had any basic knowledge of TNA, he would know this.
As for Anderson being “KILLED” by one chair shot...once again, I fear that Storm loves his violence a bit too much. We have all learnt over the years, about the various effects of unprotected chairshots.
There is absolutely no need to pound on a guy who is already injury-prone, with a steel chair just for the sake of “entertainment.”
Not everyone is Mick Foley, or Terry Funk.
Finally, the fact that “no one else pointed it out” proves that Lance Storm is sadly, very much in the minority.
I could go on about the irony of Lance Storm, a guy who was a great hand in the ring, but void of any real personality outside of it, commenting on how a wrestler cuts a promo, but that just seems too easy.
Now, since Lance’s biggest following remains on the World Wide Web, I could be in for a rude awakening, nonetheless...
I’ll leave it to you guys. Were Ken Anderson’s promos on Angle atrocious? Or were they one of the few decent segments on Impact last week?
Image Credit: TNAWrestling.com