Throwing Tomatoes: Shattered Hearts and Other Things Broken

Throwing Tomatoes – Volume IX

It’s all about things being broken this week. Broken bones, broken hearts—and as painful as it sounds, even a testicular fracture. Before I become a broken record, let’s just get to the tomato throwing:

Seattle SuperSonics and its Ownership

…for packing up and moving to Oklahoma City. 

It’s always tough to see a team move. I feel for the fans of Seattle—for a lot of reasons. The Mariners enter the season with hype and falter. The Sonics never quite got it done in the '90s. Now they add a potential star in Kevin Durant, only to have their team pack up and leave for the nation’s heartland.

A-Rod’s Love Life 

…for finding a way to get all intertwined into the sports pages. 

If I wanted to read about A-Rod and something besides his game—baseball game, that is—I would pick up a Cosmo or People, or maybe even turn on TMZ. The only splitting I want to hear about is his bat after a high-and-tight fastball. (Unless soon-to-be ex Cynthia has some more vulgar shirts, perhaps directed at Madonna. Maybe A-Rod has one for Lenny Kravitz—such as: “If You Can’t Say No”, then don’t “Dig In” with an “American Woman”. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Chris Snyder 

…for not taking better care of the “family jewels.” 

Poor Chris Snyder. He’s on the DL. But wait, it gets worse. He’s out with a testicular fracture. A busted nut, if you will. The irony is, Snyder was replaced on the Arizona roster by Robby Hammock. Get well soon, Chris.

  Michael Beasley 

…for getting injured minutes into the Heat’s opening camp practice. 

Okay, fine, so it’s a cracked bone. That still counts as being broken. I get that he can still play—but stemming off the drama that already existed with Pat Riley apparently not being crazy about the pick, now this happens to Beasley in his opening practice? Get ready for some drama on South Beach this year.

George Sherrill 

…for not trusting his fastball. 

Blowing a save hurts a closer—and a team. But how about blowing back-to-back games when your team has the lead, two outs, and two strikes in the ninth inning. That’s what Sherrill did last week. I believe both pitches were on hanging sliders, too.

  The Brett Favre Saga 

…for not going away. 

This tomato is not directed at Favre himself, but more so at the rumors and sources that desperately continue to resurrect stories on Favre making a triumphant return to “Cheeseland”. C’mon, people—let’s figure this story out and put it to bed.

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?