ESPN To Kornheiser: "We're No Longer Pardoning Your Interruptions."

Alex WatleyCorrespondent IFebruary 24, 2010

LANDOVER, MD - SEPTEMBER 11:  TV commentator Tony Kornheiser looks on before a game between the Minnesota Vikings and the Washington Redskins before the first Monday Night Football game of the season on at FedEx Field September 11, 2006 in Landover, Maryland.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Oh, Tony.

Let me start by saying that I love ESPN, ESPN Radio and PTI. I’ve been an “ATH and PTI” guy for years. And I know I’m a relatively young man of 25 years, so maybe my opinions are partially based on youth. That being said, I couldn’t be happier right now.  Not only do I get to talk about how much Tony Kornheiser irritates me, but because of his recent actions, it’s now relevant for me to talk about it. By now, everyone knows that Tony Kornheiser has been suspended from his ESPN show “Pardon The Interruption” for disparaging comments he made about fellow ESPN employee Hannah Storm. I won’t get into the suspension, that’s ESPN’s decision. But I would like to talk about the fact that for anyone in the DC area, this is par for the course for Mr. Kornheiser.

The Tony Kornheiser Show. Since I live in the DC area, I was one of the lucky few who got to benefit from ESPN 980’s decision to replace “The Herd” with “The Tony Kornheiser Show.” Fantastic. Replace the guy who bludgeons us with a “Louisville Slugger of Opinion” with a guy who’s as interesting as passing a kidney stone. Great move.  Then again, this is also the station that continually promotes the Redskins as perennial Super Bowl contenders, so the fact that they saw this as a good idea isn’t surprising. Let me say this. I DO like The Herd. I’m not sure if I’d like Colin Cowherd if I met him, but I like the show. But for all the people that don’t like Cowherd, I’ll simply say this: At least he can keep his show mostly centered on SPORTS. How hard is that?!?! It’s on ESPN for crying out loud!

Don’t get me wrong, all the guys do it. Mike and Mike talk about music. Colin talks about his kids and his health. Dan Patrick used to talk about…Keith Olberman…ok, that’s a whole ‘nother story. My point is that I understand going off topic. But Tony’s ‘God awful’ show continually opens with something from American Idol, or Lost and last but not least, his distaste for something in the DC area. He didn’t like the restaurant on 6th street. Traffic is horrible. It’s too loud in Adams Morgan. We live here too, Tony. We know the traffic is bad. It’s Washington D.C. Sorry we can’t relate to how much you hate the service at whatever country club or 5 star restaurants you’re pissed off about today. This isn’t sports talk. It’s just an old man complaining. I could go to my grandfather and get that. In fact, my grandfather IS more entertaining that Kornheiser, and he’s dead!

                Honestly, his comments on Hannah Storm are mild compared to some of the other stuff he’s said. He rip’s EVERYBODY. I’m not exaggerating; this man hates everyone and everything. He’s ripped Hannah Storm. He’s ripped Chris Berman. He’s ripped Mike and Mike. He’s ripped every sports team that Washington D.C. has. He’s ripped Abe Pollin. He’s ripped just about every columnist at The Washington Post that isn’t named Michael Wilbon. I’m convinced that the only thing he really likes is the sound of his own voice.

                Now, I know I’ll never get to speak to Mr. Kornheiser. Why would he ever want to talk to me? I’m just a member of the “unwashed masses.” But if I could, I think I would simply ask him, “What is it that makes you feel so great about treating people like they don’t matter?” Everyone has opinions, and you’re lucky enough to present them on a large stage. Yet, you pretty much use that stage to belittle and degrade people you don’t agree with and/or people you don’t understand. Worse yet, you present your “observations” as facts, as if to say “how dare you not agree with me!” You remind me of a grumpy old man presenting himself as an omnipotent tyrant. It’s like they made a movie about Castro or Caesar, and casted Walter Matthau in the lead role. Forgive me, I digress. Then again, isn’t that what your entire show is? Isn’t it just one big, huge digression away from actual, meaningful sports talk?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if all you’re going to do is complain about the things and the people in your life that you don’t like, and not actually report on real sports topics, what makes you different from me? I’m just a simple-minded blogger, writing about someone who makes me mad. That’s pretty much what you do, right? Your show is pretty much just several hours of you berating people who don’t meet your sanctimonious standards while critiquing the previous night of “American Idol” and occasionally throwing in a tidbit about how you hate DC sports, right? Look, I respect you as a journalist, and I respect the fact that you’ve been doing this since before I was born. But that doesn’t make you smart. That doesn’t make you right. That just makes you old.

Enjoy your suspension/vacation.